Support and friendship For Those Estranged

A big thanks from me as well, just knowing there is a safe space where we can discuss our feelings about estrangement without fear of knee jerk judgements/criticisms is priceless.
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Good evening everyone.

It's good to see you here RubyLegend

I think you summed up this thread perfectly Spring. We laugh and cry together, share the good and the bad and each and everyone of us is testament to the fact that there is life after estrangement, just not the one we thought it was going to be.

Yes it is priceless to have a safe space Babs and everyone who contributes here makes it that way.

We've had a lovely day here in Penrith, even the weather has been better than forecast. Hope you're enjoying your time in York Whiff.

Thank you all for your holiday wishes. I really enjoying myself. Mix up getting off the train at York as there was a fatality further up the line and the train was terminating at York and not Newcastle. When I booked it it was terminating at York so they must have altered the end destination. So not travel assistance to get me off a passenger asked guard but he was to busy to help me so he and other passenger helped me off and walked with me until we found someone to help me. Which restored my faith in human nature.

When I got on and into my reserved seat and man got on as he had the seat next to me. Hadn't long moved off when I could hear loud music coming from his headphones. I politely asked him to turn it down he said no he was concentrating. I couldn't put up with that for 2 hours. Luckily the guard came to look at tickets so asked to be moved which he did and was in a quite carriage had great journey. In all my journeys on trains since 2006 never had anyone horrible sit by me. Always found train travellers friendly. I will ask tomorrow if anyone is booked to sit by me if so will ask to be put in an unreserved seat .

Had an explore Monday. Had pub lunch it was built in 1509 . The floors all slopped left due to subsidence. Lovely meal and chat about the pub.

Went to the Shambles as my daughter said to much Harry Potter tat and over priced tourist shops. But did have a pistachio gelato yum. Went to M&S just to get something for dinner at the hotel as already had cooked lunch ,pud and ice cream. A woman had a funny turn so I stayed with her until her husband can back from a different aisle turned out he was born not far from where I lived and went to one of the private schools there. They had come for their granddaughters wedding and lived in the south.

Got the bus back but as usual got lost but a couple pointed me in the right direction.

Tuesday was early for my chocolate tour so had wonder round an art gallery beautiful painting. Chocolate tour was conducted outside as it's a small artisan factory. Then inside for tasting . Handle a cocoa pod it felt very waxy. 2 others at tasting only 5 bits of chocolate and as with wine tasting you are supposed to taste different notes . Not me it just tasted of chocolate said so. I am not pretentious but the woman next to me said she tasted various things her husband looked at her as if he had never meet her 🤣.

Had a lovely cup of dark hot chocolate and brought some hot chocolate flakes to make hot chocolate or cook with. Had a walk and went to the York regiment museum it was fascinating took lots of pictures for my grandsons . It was by Clifford's mount . Had snack out and had dinner at hotel as I was tired. At least found something I could eat.

Yesterday on hop on hop off bus so went to York art museum then to the York museum. Both very interesting and got in free. But it was a long walk through castle gardens to get to the museum. Had lunch out in York so got snack from M&S again . At least this time didn't get lost as used the hop on hop off bus. Can use my ticket today to explore then go to Betty's for afternoon tea.

Yogin glad you had good time at Yoga.

Smiles and Mr S had a lovely time in Penrith.

Babs can be daunting or a celebration of the persons live. Sad at the funeral but hopefully recalling about your friend with love and laughter at the wake if there is one. Only been to one funeral like the last sentence that wasn't my parents and that was my best friend's husbands . I cried at the funeral it was a burial it was -5°c . Luckily my daughter took me and held me up in the snow. But the wake was full of tales and laughter and I told my friend her husband would have loved the food. Never been to a burial before . They had a willow coffin and it was beautiful which sounds strange but it was different shades of willow used. Be 2 years next month since he died.

I hope your friends funeral is a celebration of their life and about them with people who loved them . It will be hard for you but think how much your life would have been the poorer for not having them in your life. And hopefully you can smile remembering happy times.

Nice to see RubyLegend and hopefully you feel like you are safe here.

Spring agree with Smiles you summed up the thread perfectly. It's a safe place with no judgement only understanding when we don't understand why are children decide we are desposable and what we did to be treated as we are . That's why the support thread has been going for so long and over my time here it's been needed all the more .

Anyway better get a move on as I like to have my breakfast at 7 when it's quiet . Sorry if I missed anyone out .

Sounds like you are having a great time Whiff. Only 5 bits of chocolate at the tasting session? Am afraid I would have wanted a bit more than that 😂. York museums really are incredible, can spend so long in there.
Been a while since we went there. Might have to plan a break for next year, the direct train from London is apparently very fast.
Take care x

Morning everyone. It's another lovely morning here in Penrith and the strong winds we had yesterday have dropped. I had no idea how beautiful it is here, some of the views are amazing.

Had a lovely walk through woods yesterday but had to cut it short because our little poodle's leg is still recovering. He did very well but we didn't want him to overdo it.

A nice meal at a Mexican restaurant last night. Off to castle this morning and my other cousin and his wife are arriving this afternoon.

So pleased you're enjoying York Whiff, you're really packing a lot in and will need a holiday when you get back home .

Sounds lovely Smileless. A beautiful part of the world. Enjoy the better weather, would love a nice long ramble in that neck of the woods. Enjoy.
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@Whiff
Your holiday sounds wonderful, York is a beautiful city to explore.

Everyone's kindness has been very welcoming and it does feel safe to be amongst people who 'get it'.

Unresolved estrangement is a place I never expected to be but having no choice in the matter has now put us on a different path.

I think it has also given some of our friends food for thought. Think it won't happen to you? Think again. It can happen in loving families.

Love may triumph on the end but it's taking a battering on the way.

Lovely post Spring, thanks to you too xx

Whiff sounds like you had a nice time,apart from the man with music next to you on the train ! But you coped and met helpful people en route.
Restores faith in humanity after difficult times.
My younger daughter and I were thinking of going to York for our annual long weekend together in October. But will have to postpone until she has had surgery and recovered.
Older daughter still hasn't spoke to me since being in hospital in june. I sent my grandson a present for his 9th birthday and he left a voice message on my phone thanking me and hoping to see me soon. Relieved that she hasn't spoke badly of me to the children going on his response.
I am not chasing her as still not well. Have repeat brain and spine mris beginning of October as neurologist wants to compare with the June scans. Balance still poor with right sided weakness. Think the loss of speech I had was a stress reaction which I have never had before.
Tidying up today and putting house back together after decorator has finished. Now have painted hall,stairs,landing and my bedroom. Looks nice but must have felt poorly when picked out new bed headboard in slate colour. Doesn't really go with duck egg blue walls ! Never mind, nice it's all new and fresh looking.

Beautiful place York, so pleased you are having a lovely break Whiff 👍

Sounds like you are having a really nice time Whiff. Shame about the rude man on the train, but all ended well for you.

Talking about rude men; my neighbour went away for 2 weeks and parked his van over the front of my property, leaving the space in front of his empty, but I can't park there as it would be over his driveway and last time I did that he arranged a parking ticket for me! I thought 'I can't not say anything to him' so eventually when we were both walking in at the same time, he walking fast to avoid me, I called out ^ you were out of order, parking over the front of my property when you went away for 2 weeks, leaving an empty parking space in front of your own^ His reply was "F* OFF", he then quickly disappeared into his house!

I did write to the 'Highways' with pictures, they replied that although they sympathise, there is nothing they can do!

Your holiday sounds lovely too Smiles, enjoy the rest of it.

Jaffa how lovely to get a voicemail from your grandson. Hope you get to sort out your health problems soon.

@yogi, what a horrible neighbour. I really can’t understand why some people go out of their way to be disagreeable when is enough trouble in the world.
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@jaffa your house sounds lovely, nothing like fresh paint to make a place look new and inviting. But make sure you don’t tire yourself out putting things straight, what doesn’t get done today can wait till tomorrow.
Great news about the voicemail from your GS.
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Babs thank you for thinking of me. Yes got carried away putting house back to my normality but stopped myself going to stand on a chair to rehang bedroom curtains. Suddenly realised this was not a safe activity. May ask one of my lovely neighbours to help.

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Jaffacake many years ago went the children where young even though my balance was bad and had limb jerks I stood on a low stool and fell off. That's the negative but I always try and put a positive spin on things the hairs on my legs fell out and never grew back.

I have a stool with a long handle it's very sturdy but only use it when I have something else to hold onto . I brought one for outside but my daughter gave me strict instructions not to use it. So stand my compost on it when potting my plants.

Glad you had a messaged from your grandson.

York is lovely but can be hard on your legs . I had a ticket for the hop on hop off bus with golden tours it was £13 but could use it 2 days and 20 stops to get on and off. Plus lots of facts from the driver.
Had my afternoon tea at Betty's they do it all day so had it for my lunch . 😋. Went down stairs but there is a lift you sit down on .

That looks like a fantastic afternoon tea whiff, so jealous, I don’t think there is anything like an afternoon tea to make you feel pampered
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Whiff, you certainly have packed a lot in your week, you must have either fit or worn out, your exercise for a month. Man on the train so ignorant but glad you got a nice seat after speaking to the ticket collector. It all sounds good. Safe journey home.
Smileless glad you are both enjoying your time in Penrith and the weather has been kind. Grand reunion with your lovely pooches soon.
Yoga, I cant believe what a dreadful man your neighbour is. He must be a very unhappy individual with his constant point scoring and bitter ways. He needs a bigger bully than him to ever see sense.
Jaffa, how lovely to get a voice mail from your grandson, it sounds as if your daughter is fine with you having contact with him, its very hard when you're kept from grandchildren you have had for years as I and others were, so fingers crossed all will work out in tge end. I’m sure you feel uplifted after the decorating, I know I do looking at things with a fresh eye.
Ruby Legend, estrangement is talked about a bit more openly now and its good you and all of us can come on here and know you are not alone in this.
Babs, I think once the funeral is over life gradually slips into a new pattern.
Everyone have a good day, the sun is out and everything clean and fresh after the rain.

@Allsorts
Funeral will be Friday next week.
Travelling up Thurs and staying over with a good friend till Monday.
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Whiff what a delicious treat for you, you must have really enjoyed that.

When my DD had her first born, I took her out for a lovely afternoon tea with prosecco, we both really enjoyed it, over looking the sea!

Thanks Babs & Allsorts yes, my neighbour is horrid. I wonder if the previous house owners had the same problem with him, they & the people before that, only stayed here for 2yrs. I'd move if I had enough money for a nice bungalow.

The horrid neighbour knocked his old shed down and has been burning the wood at the top of his garden, you'd think with his big van he could have taken it up to the dumb.

I put my washing on the line yesterday, as it was nice and sunny, as did my neighbour on the other side. In the afternoon he started burning up again, so myself and other neighbour, dashed out to get our washing in. I said in a very loud voice; someone is having a burn-up again, they must see we have our washing out, selfish git
Hope he heard it, I could see his head walking back from the top of his garden, so would have thought he had.

Glad you said that. Not that it probs will get through to him, as Allsorts said he needs a bigger bully to put him right.
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