Broken hearted at estrangement

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Wellbeck, i agree with what you say.
Genuinely sorry for those children who had cruel parents, who were abused in any way, they need to distance, the question, why me, when all they did was be born to such people who should love and protect, must take a lot of guts and determination to make a good life without that foundation. That's why its sad that insecurity and hurt never seems to go for some unwanted and battered children, so they never really are healed. All parents are not like that and yes we make mistakes as everyone on the planet does, but our children come first and to lose them is hard. Unless you have held your baby in your arms and felt the love that comes with them you can’t understand, as you have witnessed the worst of parents.

Nexus. Good your mother has you.

welbeck

Jodapo
That is victim blaming and not on.
Are you saying every son daughter that goes wrong it is the fault of the parents?
Where is their own responsibility?
And why do you blame only the mother.
What about father.
Your post sounds misogynistic.

It looks like I missed what hapened here. Thankyou ladies for handing it in my absence

I do dislike misogyny though, it is so boring!

Another thread disrupted. 🤷‍♀️

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Rely, not reply

Orphans - their parents are not in this world - alive.

Who would like to reply on their enemy?

On people who makes their situation worse instead of helping?

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Thinking of you and all others in this horrible tragic situation.

I am not an orphan.

I have parents I choose not to have a relationship with.

It is a huge difference.

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What about smug adult children making someone needing help feel worthless. Is there any hope for them?
Nexus, there is no excuse for what your brother has done he needs reporting. What if he does it to another child? He should be drummed out of social work, children come first. Your mother should not try to sort it, she can’t.
To say that all the children who grow up to be adults with mental health problems is not true.

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Jodapo
That is victim blaming and not on.
Are you saying every son daughter that goes wrong it is the fault of the parents?
Where is their own responsibility?
And why do you blame only the mother.
What about father.
Your post sounds misogynistic.

jodapo
my mum wanted to talk to her son about his child being sexually abused and my sister thought she was quids in because my mum had just been widowed 2 weeks before. no parent is perfect and if we are being honest and have children then we all know we have made mistakes, my brother worked in social work and my sister has never worked and is now 50, she has a disabled child and my mum has bought everything he needs costing her thousands of pounds. are you a mother and are you perfect and never made a mistake.

Oops, glad you and your husband are getting in with life. I love fireworks, I watch them from my window but know animals are frightened so wish it were one day.

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If you have never put a foot wrong and are perfection personified, maybe then you can judge that what you don't know. I don't think anyone should give an opinion not asked for.

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nexus63

my brother battered my mother 25 years ago and has not had contact since then, my sister wanted a holiday and mum would not pay so she went no contact with my mum, i will be the one to tell them when she dies and the funeral is over, i will also be the executor of the will and they are both set to get money, something i don't care about but they do, i intend to hold it as long as it is legal to do so, it might not seem fare but my mother said it was up to me. they have caused her so much pain and hurt, not being able to see her gc or ggc.

Thank goodness she has one loving daughter Nexus...

my brother battered my mother 25 years ago and has not had contact since then, my sister wanted a holiday and mum would not pay so she went no contact with my mum, i will be the one to tell them when she dies and the funeral is over, i will also be the executor of the will and they are both set to get money, something i don't care about but they do, i intend to hold it as long as it is legal to do so, it might not seem fare but my mother said it was up to me. they have caused her so much pain and hurt, not being able to see her gc or ggc.

00opsidia

Yes Smileless we are getting on with it now. Fireworks night was a turning point.
It's freeing that I haven't done a thing for Christmas yet. Always used to make so much effort for them all, but it was time consuming and tiring and the efforts were never reciprocated so we will definitely enjoy a simpler Christmas without them.

They do not appreciate us, so we will appreciate each other and what we do have. Last year I sent gifts. This year I will not as I got silence in return. I'm not going to be the one making all the effort and getting abuse or silence in return, anymore. I have strength in that and spending time with friends who are the family we choose for ourselves.

People who make you feel stronger and more positive are like gems and the older I get, I just want to be surrounded by kind people. I do not care if we are related or not.

So glad you have decided to put your own well-being first, just try to focus on recovering from what sounded like a harrowing episode health wise.
You are your own best friend, so be kind to yourself and relax.
Take care 🌹

00opsidia

Nice to see you’re getting on with life, and finding your happy times with your DH.

Always wisest not to let others rule your happiness.

Best wishes💐