Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

@Smiles estrangement is often unfathomable, despite some trying to cast blame upon the easiest targets - the parents of the AC of course. That is not only too easy but also lazy.
Luckily - and that might sound harsh - my DHs father died early when he was still very young, if he had lived longer and carried on abusing my DH I imagine he would have become estranged from both his parents.
In this case an estrangement is understandable, but because his mother had struggled to raise him on her own and muddled through despite increasing ill health from her mid forties my DH always looked after her even though he couldn’t forgive her for his earlier years. I similarly helped look after her and our children loved her dearly. It truly made me sad when my DH said that she had never loved him as a child the way she loved our children. Perhaps she saw it as a second chance.
In any case we have happy memories of her spending time with the children, it enriched their lives as a good relationship with grandparents can. To deny that to your children who have no say in the matter and then imagine you are a better parent than the parents you estranged is sheer hypocrisy.

Evening everyone, hope you've all had a good day.

Lovely tea cosy Whiff. The church we were attending before we moved had a great cafe and all the tea cosies were knitted Nuns .

That's a difficult thing for your DH to live with Babs . Knowing that despite what he endured as a child, that he with your support was still prepared to be there for her in her old age and enabled her to be a GM to your children makes so many cases of estrangement even more unfathomable.

As you say, life is complicated and we need to make the most of anything and everything that brings as joy, no matter how simple they may be .

Your poor cats Sparkly having to stay in again but much better than being outside. You must be relieved that they're safe indoors with you for the evening. Your advent retreat's a great idea, I hope you make the most of it and have a great time.

That man's a nightmare Yogin. I'd be tempted to leave a few nails lying around where he' going to park and hope he gets a puncture; maybe one in each tyre with a bit of luck.

My friend and hairdresser came this morning. Our new plan now is for her to come to me and when she's finished we go out for lunch, so today we went to a local garden centre that has the most amazing Christmas department.

I made a start buying some new decs for our first Christmas in our new home, and got plenty of ideas for some more. Mr. S. will be pleased .

@SparklyGran my DH’s dad was abusive his mum wasn’t but didn’t try to stop it, my guess is she was too scared but he finds it hard to forgive this, however, he looked after her until she died.
Life is so complicated.
Best to try to enjoy the simple pleasures and let the world keep turning without us worrying too much about it 🥹

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babs03 so sorry to hear that your DH had that awful experience ( violence) from his DF and DM.

Thank you for the ((( hugs ))). Yes it’s dark here but my flowers are still going. One pentstemon has started flowering again. I have 3 tobacco plants I think the plentiful rain this summer has made them grow giant leaves see photo. I gave several to a neighbour who smokes tobacco for him to try drying them.

I am keeping my cats in again as there were very loud fireworks again last night. There not happy and I can’t tell them why. xx

@SparklyGran
Love your flowers, mine are still blooming, must be the mild weather, will try to post pics later.
I think you are right to make some kind of plan for Xmas, the advent retreat sounds good. Make sure you do something really nice for yourself, and before you know it Xmas will be over.
These dates are always tricky.
Sending hugs 🤗

@Yogi are you sure your neighbour isn’t related to Trump??
😂

Babs03 thank you. Whiff lovely to hear that about your DM enjoying milky coffee. They are gorgeous.

Christmas is always sad for me and I plan carefully to make it as pain free as possible. One of my ideas has been having Christmas Day quietly eating and relaxing, including nice but not ordering only Christmassy food as that type of food highlights my DS and family not being here.

I also have an Advent Retreat online set up for a few weeks time.

Off to make a milky coffee now I’ve talked about it!

Waiting for the Abandonment book, will feedback here when I’ve started dipping into it.

Have a peaceful week or an active week, as you are planning.

My flowers still flowering, unbelievable.

X

Yes, nice tea-cosy Whiff

Me too Babs I warm the mug first and put a lid on it to brew. Would only use a teapot if there were 3 or more having.

No he is not Allsorts. He had his van parked over the front of my property all weekend and his car on his drive way. I hoped, when he moved his van to go to work, I would then have a spot to park, but no, he moved his car over the front of mine last night and his van over the front of his driveway [not on it], ready for his departure in the morning. So, this morning he's driveway is empty with his car over the front of mine! My son said He goes to a lot of trouble to make sure we don't get a parking spot

Correction - your cosy not your body 😳

Whiff

Wrong picture that's my latest cross stitch 🤦🤦🤦🤦

Love the teapot and the cosy you made, I sometimes crack out the teapot but for an everyday brew I use a mug and bag.
Have some lovely Persian tea that a friend gave us, is like earl grey but much stronger, very fragrant with long tea leaves, I use a special teapot for that and your body would go very nicely 😜

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-623019-img-20241103-1453386612.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-881002-img-20241103-1454321982.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-203292-img-20241103-1454363982.jpg

Wrong picture that's my latest cross stitch 🤦🤦🤦🤦

SparklyGrandma my mom's ideal of heaven was a bubble bath and a milky coffee. You mentioning milky coffee gave me that memory back thank you .

Babs nice treat 😋.

Not very good on a sewing machine . But I brought this beautiful teapot from the Polish pottery shop in York. I didn't want a normal over the top teacosy as it always stained so saw an pattern for one that goes round the pot but decides not to buy the pattern thought I can work it out. Well made my version today . Made it to small but it will work . I am good at cross stitch but sewing with a machine so so.

@SparklyGrandma
Getting older means we might need extra help and support, but often the anxiety/stress of dealing with the ongoing animosity of an AC can be bad for our health.
Enjoy the calm of sitting with your milky coffee, with your gorgeous cats for company, peace is vastly underrated.
Take care 🌹

A long walk and a cappuccino, my ideal combo 😄

Babs03 only a sore arm now after the flu jab.

Whiff life will be hard maybe as I get older, without my son even from afar, isnt a support.mI got very upset about this about 6 years ago, but eventually I accepted the being older, and have felt stronger in looking forward now.

Going to sit outside with a milky coffee on my deckchair in the morning. Soon it will be too cold to. Nos dda.

Glad everything sorted for you Smileless. Did you enjoy your champagne.. I have an automatic, love it. Something else for you to look forward to.
Whiff, glad your appointment went well and you had your daughter to yourself for a while, its not easy with little ones. Enjoy your time with your grandson today.
Jaffa, another health problem for you so you need to factor in time to chill and get lost in a hobby. I do different crafts abd sometimes sit so long in one position I have trouble moving, i forget about eating, then when I've finished or decided to leave it for the time being, I make up for it by eating everything in sight.
At the moment my friends are buying for family for Christmas but don't know what i will be doing. I never know what to buy anyone these days and can’t thing of anything i need. Apart from time.
Yoga i do hope HM (horrible man) is behaving better.

@Smiles a petrol blue settee sounds drop dead gorgeous!
And a new car!
You go for it girl!
New house, new life, you both deserve it.
As I always say life is too short 🌹

Morning all,
Putting others first is admirable, too many try to pour cold water on it these days because we live in the age of putting self first and being independent to the point of cutting all ties with others. Is sad that society has lost sight of consideration for all except those who see things our way.
My OHs mother was difficult and he blamed her for never stopping his father from beating him, but she was old with many health problems so we took the GCs to see her and looked after her. Our daughters had a lovely relationship with her and we never told them my OHs story. If people thought more about others this world would not be in such a terrible mess. It makes me weep.
It seems that not liking a family member is grounds for treating that person horribly and disconnecting from them.
If that was a blueprint back when I was a young adult I would have disconnected from many in my family 😂
Anyway glad you got to your hospital appointments, your daughter is a lovely person.
As for that lemon marmalade - yes please!!
Am nearly at the bottom of my jar of silver shred 😢

Jaffacake a good idea is to check if any medications are made with things you are allergic to. A friend of mine is gluten and egg free . Had a bad reaction to the anti virals for shingles and ended up in hospital for a few days. I found out some medication and vaccines are made using egg albumen. The anti virals where . There are alternatives to them without the egg albumen.

Just an idea for you to check before taking new medication. That goes for anyone else who is allergic to food stuffs .

Whiff nice to hear your hospital appointment went well and that you got a good chat with your DD. Enjoy your day with your GS, no doubt with some baking going on

Sounds lovely Smiles and something to look forward to; your new car & new settee. Yes, I purchased the CD and the band all signed it for me . Yet to play it at home, but looking forward to doing so.

Sorry to hear about your further health probs Jaffa, enjoy your relaxing day; reading your book & painting xx