Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Continuing discussion from previous thread, Sparkly Gran and Smiles you both cited 'acceptance' as helping with estrangement. I agree. And though it is hard won, with so much pain and heartbreak preceding it, so many times spent soul searching and agonising. Without acceptance it is impossible to start living again instead of existing.

Can't believe how quicky we got to 1,000 again . Shows how important this thread and how much it is still helping people.

Sparkly I have a list in my head of things that have made my life better and things not to regret . Accepting things won't change is the hardest but it is the most beneficial to get on with your life and no what if or if onlies .

Found a new craft group. The Brain Charity knit and natter say I can join even though I cross stitch. So I will got next Wednesday as planned to make green tomato chutney tomorrow. So my Wednesdays are now booked .

Sit fit yesterday we did the conga up and down the church aisle forgotten how much fun that was .

Smiles you and Mr S have a new world opened up to you . Bike rides , woodpeckers and other wild life . Wonder what the winter will bring into your garden and surroundings.

Can't remember if I already said but had 2 friends I made at craft for lunch on Saturday they only went to the group during school holidays as they look after grandson/ nephew . The mom sings in the cathedral choir and they have sang the armed man by Karl Jenkins . They are learning a blues jazz mass in Latin by Will Todd at the moment and said it very difficult. Anyway they enjoyed there gluten free veg and goats cheese galette and gluten free golden syrup steamed sponge and custard. Had made a gluten free apple cake to take home and some of my preserves . They came at 12 and left at 6.30 the time flew by . I will only keep in touch with them out of my old craft group.

Will have to read the posts on the last thread and respond . But just wanted to post here.

Whiff you are living the life girl, doing the conga up the church aisle sounds like such a hoot. And glad you are filling your days again, one of my daughter’s MiL, loves her knit and natter sessions. She’s really good at it but as I told her I can’t knit but I can matter 👍

Thank you for the new thread Smileless.

Goodness, a new thread already. 👍

For those that have followed my long and chaotic saga with Miss `Dysfunctionality and my GGD for ages, I finally have a happy update.

Goodness, I thought we’d never get anywhere near this, but after the Family Court ruling, DD, SIL GS and myself finally got to spend the weekend with this 19 month old baby girl.

Despite everything, she’s a happy, healthy cheerful toddler.🥂🍾

Miss D still tried to disrupt it, but, luckily, all the agencies are wise to her now.

This has been a long time coming, and I’ve found the stress a huge hassle, on top of losing DH, but we’ve all ploughed on.

Anyway, thought I’d share it. Thank you to all those that have listened to my despair/stress with this, and supported me.💐💐

Hope everyone is having a nice day x

@DL haven't been there for your whole journey but this sounds like a real breakthrough for you and the family.
Always so uplifting to get good news like this.
Glad that this thread has given so many so much hope and strength and kept them going when I imagine they were ready to give up.
xxx

Yes, it has been a breakthrough. This girl has been just dreadful. She made my life a misery through the worst time of my life with losing DH.

Happily, all the agencies backed us, and the Family Court agreed.

It’s not an ideal situation, but we can only live with what it is.

Yes, it’s a great thread for all sorts of support. 🙂.

Oh DL, that is brilliant news, you must be so happy with that visit, I hope lots of cuddles were involved, good luck for future visits👍

DL I don't know your whole story but can tell how excited you are with this lovely news of reconnecting with your granddaughter. Enjoy her ,congratulations

Hello everyone, great to see you posting here already and we couldn't have had a better 'good news' post on page one than yours DL.

This really is wonderful news, thank you for sharing xx

Good morning all!
A nice sunny start to the day!
Not looking forward to this morning though, an appointment at the dentists - suppose I’m lucky to have a dentist though - a back tooth is definitely not good. I predict a root canal filling or extraction.
Ouch!
Hope everyone else is doing something more enjoyable 👍

Oh my goodness, another thread opened, well done Smiles.
Just finished reading post on last thread, will read new in a mo.

Lovely sunny day. Trying to book a new hairdresser for a haircut tomorrow, going out for lunch with friends on Friday, so would like it done for then.

Welcome all back on our new thread. How many is that now Smiles? I think we ask that question every time a new thread is opened. But it's been more than 12yrs! I still remember those posters from way back, no longer on here, the stories that could make you sweep. she slipped her little hand in mind as we walked up the beach I remember the same poster's poem, so heart felt. Also remember the poster that would stand at the school playground, her GD would come over and say; ^we love you grandma, but we are not allowed to speak to you, chocked me even now! Wonder how they are now.

Lovely to hear your good news DL xx

@Yogi, so sad, the stories you have recalled made me cry. Why would anyone inflict such heartbreak and pain, not just on their parents but on their children who miss their grandparents.
It is as if only their alleged hurts matter, their narrative, their way.
And we don’t live forever.
My close friend who died recently never saw her estranged daughter and GCs though her daughter knew she was dying.
I have no words 😢

Hi All Just saying hello on the new thread. I don't post on here often these days but I do read and keep up with news and new posters.

I don't talk about my situation on here but some of you are aware. I seem to have found a way to stave off any further deterioration ( a version of Derbyshire Lass's (?) velvet rope!).and I keep things ticking gently and calmly whilst getting on with life.

I continue to support someone close to me who made the decision to estrange her daughter after much shock, pain and abuse. The ongoing pain for her resonates with so much of what you all express on here.

💐 for all of us.

Brilliant News DL. It's taken a long time but worth it. I hope the child's mother gets the help needed she seems in a very bad place.
Madgran, glad you're able to see your family.
It's nice to hear positive news.

DiamondLily it's been a hard couple of years for you with your husband being ill and dieing . Miss D pregnancy and all the court to deal with . I hope this Christmas your great granddaughter makes it feel very special for you all. But you will always know your husband should be with you. When my grandsons have decorated my tree every year since my move here I always see my husband standing by it . Christmas was his favourite time of the year . When I moved here my daughter started a tradition after the tree was decorated she took a picture of my grandson in the armchair by the tree and then when his brother was born a picture of him holding him . And a picture ever since.

I hope you all have Christmas day with her . I assume she still lives with that woman and her religion they don't celebrate Christmas or birthdays . My husband worked with a man who was a Jehovah's witnesses. When they had their son he made a point of giving him a birthday present and card for him and for Christmas. My husband was a bugger and used to trim up everyone's drawing boards for Christmas. First year the man took the things off, next morning my husband had put even more things on his board.

Forgot to say it was nice to see Platglass on the end of the old thread. May have spelt her name wrong as I can't look back without losing this .

Madgran lovely of you to pop on and know you are still reading .

Having my flu jab this morning then bit of shopping in town and a visit to my favourite cafe for a plain 🍫 hot chocolate they make it with disc of real 🍫. You can have white ,milk or plain. Don't have any extras on it and they always put it then next size up cup for me as I only have a regular size one which would fill the cup to the brim . With my trembling hands it would end up all down me.

Seem strange not going to craft group but had enough . I have been asked not to leave again but once I made a decision I stick to it . Start my new one at the Brain Charity Wednesday. Saturday will be taking down our exhibition with the Gelli gang . But will see some at the Brain Charity as they attend the neuro gym and other groups . It's a long day but I am happy there and no prima Donna's .

Yogin those stories where heartbreaking. Glad I have silence and they live away from me so never any chance of seeing them . I have lived here 5 years think I live in the northern part and they are in the southern part . But have terrible sense of direction.

Can tell it's autumn as robins have been in my garden ,and still seeing butterflies and plenty of bees even with all the rain . But have lot of plants still in flower . If it would stay dry for a couple of days I would go to the park as I love the autumn colours.
Looked out the window at 2 this morning after a visit to the loo and saw a fox walking down the road. First one I have since here . We have the park near by but also a large wooded area . It's lovely to go in the dry but to muddy in the wet as there is a mashy area but it is beautiful.

Made 9.5 lbs of green tomato chutney yesterday using my own tomatoes . So the bungalow smells of spices .

Hopefully everyone stays dry today .

Good morning all,
Nice to hear from you Madgran77, hope you drop in again x
@whiff, the more you tell me about your DH the more I can understand your loss, he sounds like a wonderful person, whatever time you had with him was a real gift that will last a lifetime. But I know that doesn’t ease the pain of loss that also lasts a lifetime.
A mug of hot chocolate sounds like the business this season, I love nothing better.
Enjoy.
Off for an eye test today, specsavers. Dentist yesterday. Catching up with health checks ahead of winter 🙏🏾

Morning everyone, hope your dental appointment went OK Babs, I have a checkup in a couple of weeks and always dread going.

Your post's reminded me that I need to book a test with spec savers so thank you for that .

I've never forgotten that either Yogin, when we read that we could almost see her walking down the beach, holding the hand of the little GD she'd never seen before.

We kept in touch for sometime. They were bounced in and out of estrangement, never knowing if the last time they saw their son and GC would be the last time.

We've probably averaged 3 to 3.5 threads a year so I'm thinking there must have been at least 36 which is pretty amazing and it all began with that beautiful but heart breaking poem.

Hello Madgran so good to see your post and good to know that your own situation is ticking along gently and calmly and you are getting on with your life.

It's not often that we hear from or about a mother taking the unenviable step of estranging their own AC, but life doesn't give you a blank cheque to abuse and hurt your parent. for your friend.

A shopping trip and hot chocolate sounds just right when you've had your flu jab Whiff .

We've had the 18th of this month suggested but not confirmed for completion and although we feel for our buyers, we asked our solicitor yesterday to contact their's so say that we need to complete by the 1st of November (which is a Friday) or we'll seriously consider putting our house back on the market.

Feel a bit mean but they need to put pressure on their buyer as unfortunately, the only pressure we can apply is to them. If it goes to November 1st it will have been 4 months which is more than enough time.

The Florida storm is frightening isn't it. We have friends in Venice who've evacuated and just hoping they'll have a house to go back too. It's hit where we used to own a villa and I can't help wondering if it's still in one piece.

Yes the terrible weather they get in parts of the US make us feel lucky that we live in the UK which might be rainy and chilly but at least it is hardly ever a threat to people’s lives and properties, can’t imagine having to evacuate twice in a short time due to these hurricanes, and possibly come back to see your home destroyed, not sure how many fatalities there have been this time but thoughts are with those who have lost loved ones 😞

Hope your friends find their home in one piece Smiles. Such a worry.

Smiles you have been very patient glad you have set a time limit. Your buyers need to pressure their solicitor who will pressure their buyer. You are having to still pay bills for an empty house. You are not being mean but practical .

Hope your friends are safe from the hurricane and tornadoes .

My flu jab was cancelled so rebooked for next Thursday. Still went shopping and had my hot chocolate and a croissant filled with raspberry jam 😋.

Some of my American HPX friends aren't directly in the path but tornadoes have landed 35 miles away from one of them and demolished a trailer park . And heading there way.
Just hope they will stay safe. The daughter is the one with HPX and she is an inspiration. She has ridden since she was young and fallen off multiple times due to her limbs stiffening but always gets straight back on plus she had cancer when she was younger.

Today was one of our estranged GCs birthday. The younger one. She will be 14, we haven’t sent anything this time and it felt weird but instead we bought a small cake and stuck a candle in it and took a pic to mark the occasion. Have to keep telling myself not to worry about our GC wondering why we didn’t send anything. My cousin who still has some contact with our estranged daughter told us that she very much doubts that any of the gifts, cards, etc., were ever given to our GCs anyway.
One of our other daughters sent us a lovely message with a pic of her baby boy and the other two rang to make sure we were ok. We said yes but there had been tears.

These special days are especially hard aren't they, but lovely that you had support from your family 💐