Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

I need to stop being a sado; talking about my neighbours

Feel sorry for the children they must think the smell normal. Perhaps parents would not need to work so long if they gave up their drugs.

Playing catch up again . Had a busy week..

Smiles glad you and Mr S had a wonderful holiday and the dining room lived up to your expectations. A romantic way to spend your anniversary away . Glad the dogs had a good time to .

Even though I watched the time the alert still made me jumped and stiffen ,phoned vibrated and a message appeared and someone read it out. But I needed to know what it
sounded like .

Yogin the fire circle and Shamans sounds mystical. Was there drumming and chanting ? Bet it was a lovely atmosphere and everyone was happy .

Trampolines in gardens don't reduce the price of property well not round here. My neighbour at the bottom of my garden has a large one for his granddaughter but folds it up and puts behind his shed if she hasn't been on it for a week. He stores it there as we get very high winds and in gales and storms like Arwen few years back trampolines flew everywhere and any slides and garden furniture not fastened down . Lost panels out of my greenhouse.
The slide is a bit much . I can see the children having accidents in the future . Sorry your view has been spoilt . But unfortunately that's the perils of living in a property like yours . Never know who is going to live upstairs. That's why I knew I had to have a bungalow. It's a semi but I do like to hear next door she isn't noisy but her clock chimes every hour and music and laughter when she has family and friends round . She probably hears my music and TV . And definitely when my grandsons are here. But have always lived in either a terraced or semi.

The regatta was it rowing teams or other boats Yogin ? Only seen ones at TV so don't really know what happens.

Smiles York has lot of Harry Potter themed shops I got a Ravensclaw fridge magnet when I went in September last year . Added to my collection of steam punk magnets .

Babs good news about Mr B's operation and glad you had a good consultation and surgeon. I know it will be an extra worry when he has it done but reduces the risk of other things. I drop food down me all the time have done for years . It's what we call wearing our food by my HPX gang . At home I wear a tea towel and kitchen roll. When out have lots of napkins and have all my drinks in a mug even cold drinks but only filled three quarters of the way up . I have regular hot drinks but always asked it to be put into a mug . I eat with a spoon and fork and always ask my food to be cut up in the kitchen . What is so lovely everywhere I have been they put the food back together so it looks whole . It won't bother me if it was just spread out but it touches like that show people do care .

Sparkly already got some Christmas presents for my son in law fee weeks back . He gets the same things from me every year but it's toiletries he won't buy himself. Plus assorted beers I tried and find ones he hadn't tried and ones he likes. Normally 3 large Toberlone's but my daughter told me he loves cashew and macadam nuts . How I found out I made a nut roast when friends came to lunch and had left overs so gave them to her. And she told me he was very happy had his favourites. Already made a list of things to buy people . And have Christmas cards in . I have to plan ahead . Plus I need a list from my daughter what to get the boys as the youngest birthday is November and oldest January. So I spilt the presents between birthday and Christmas.
Buying presents is bitter sweet as I haven't brought my other 3 grandson's anything . Last time my son's eldest 2 had presents off me was Easter 2020 and that was money . After he sent everything back in August 2020 all unopened and the babies presents crushed and his letter . I decided to never let him hurt me again . But I still wonder what they would like . But he choose this path not me .

Sorry Smiles didn't read the bit about the food being disappointing . I suppose they spent money making sure the room looks wonderful and didn't think about the quality of the food .

Yogin sorry about all the rubbish. I don't know how people can live with it . Either have a skip or take it to the tip . But some people are just lazy and don't care .

I don't understand why parents smoke drugs when they have children. The children will breath in the smoke even outside.

Well think I have caught up with page 14 .

Yogin you are not a sado you know you can say anything here and everyone cares about eachother. You are a get up and go woman who lives life to the full . We all have to have a moan but it doesn't make us sado's but human .

Allsorts unfortunately it's always the children that suffer if parents are druggies .

Had sit fit Monday . Tuesday MRI on my brain and cervical cord. But it was done at the neurological hospital so no tunnel . Wore fetching outfit of knickers gown and trainers. Had taken my slippers but they said my trainers where fine. They had to help me on the machine bed. Head into a head shaped part of the machine. Ear plugs and padding by my ears and neck then a face guard which housed the machine pulled down reached my chin but had big eye holes and a grey strip I concentrated on . The had to put my hands under my thighs as I couldn't do it . But I needed to be still. Took 30 mins they they had to help me get off and walk even offered to help me dress but said no but thanked them . Took ages trying to get my tights over my feet as I was stiff and very cold . But the room has to be cold as the MRI machine produces a lot of heat . Had a taxi there and back . Had to use my heat pad to warm my back up . Had been up at 4 and taxi came at 6.15 appointment wasn't until 8 but needed to be calm before the scan. As usual talked to people.

My daughter had sent me a leaflet about 2 classes run by my council for free. So Wednesday went to the music and exercise one runs for 8 weeks . Had a lovely time . It was so much more than it said normally I don't sing loud only at home as have terrible voice. But I didn't care there . And holding the song words my hands didn't shake. We did tongue twisters to the tune of the William Tell overture and started slow and got faster . Used castanets. And did some exercises. The 90 mins flew by but will go back after this week.

Thursday went to mindfulness class . Not usually into airy fairy things but decided to see . Far better than I thought plus learnt a relaxation and breathing technique and my hands didn't shake felt safe enough to shut my eyes which I never do incase I startle . Runs 12 weeks will be going back. Then went shopping in the village .
Friday packed my bags . My daughter had told me about packing cubes made packing easier and no scrambling to find clothes . Normally I roll all my clothes and put things in anywhere. Will get some to organise my drawers .
This weekend just chilling.

The off to Harrogate tomorrow for 5 days. Going to Betty's for afternoon tea Tuesday , Wednesday Knaresborough on the train it's market day and hope to get too the witches stone and Thursday to Fodder a farm shop recommended by someone on the National Disability Card Facebook page. Lots of free samples good food and lots to see.
Rest of the time exploring Harrogate and seeing if I can get into museums free with my National Disability Card plus have my PIP decision and pension credit information on my phone incase that doesn't work.

Staying at Premier Inn as usual and pay for early check in and meal deal . I pay the Flexi rate which is dearer but means if I have to cancel up to 1pm on arrival day I get a full refund.

Very long ramble must post everyday but then again can't guarantee they won't be long 🤣🤣🤣.

Take care everyone. 😊

My thoughts too Allsorts he smokes too and they get take-aways more than 3 times per week, the nursery charges for the little one must be enormous. I was putting the privacy film on the kitchen windows yesterday, in the middle of putting the first one up and they came bombing in, onto the trampoline, him too. I had to finish the one I was on, but then left the other and went out to B&Q for the Laural hedging plants, got 6 and some really good compost. Now got a big job putting them all in .

Finished the job when I got back, took a lot longer than I thought it would, but looks very pretty, like a stained glass with flowers, when the sun shines on it, it's all rainbow colours. The top windows are still clear, so lots of light and can see the trees .

Off to an all-day Yoga festival today, booked a rare day off teaching. They have just announced it will close at 4pm instead of 6.30pm due to the predicted bad weather. Nice and sunny and dry now

Whiff One hand held big drum on the beach. Today I will do a drumming work shop, did one last time I went, great fun.

The Regatta was great, lots of different bands playing, an all-girl modern choir, which was great. Lots of things to buy, food and drink stalls. Football & Tug-of-war on the beach. There were sailing boats but didn't see the race.

MRI scan sounds awful Whiff don't think I could stand it, but then you have to, to get results. Well done you, hope you had a nice cuppa or 2 when you got back home and a rest under a warm blanket xx

Your classes sound great Whiff keep going and enjoy your holiday next week.

Yes, I'd love a bungalow Whiff but didn't have enough money, my DD said 'get a small motgage', but I'm mortgage free here and that was the most important thing for me. My previous upstairs neighbour was ideal, we did fall out once, but made up and were friends again when he sadly passed. So yes, the upstairs neighbour can break or make your life a happy one. I get on well with her and the C, he is very aloff, but not unfriendly. But a family of 5 are naturally very noisey & untidy, wereas myself and my son are quiet and tidy. I itch to tidy some of their things up, they have 2 seperate piles of things for the dump out front, not big, but one has been there a month. I just think, when he is standing outside having his fag and kicking his heels, why can't he tidy up a bit, and it's only I that tidies the front driveway and clears any weeds.

Enjoy your holiday Whiff, you gave lots of things lined up.
Yoga, you love your home, near the sea and with a garden, you can now park your car outside without hastle, shame about upstairs, but you never know wherever you move, who is next door. You always have lots to do and family near.
Babs, your husband is doing so well with you and family caring as you do.

Yogi your windows must look lovely but what a shame you had to do this because of your neighbours, and ‘no’ you are not a saddo, love to hear all about your adventures, you are a busy and very interesting person. Give my love to Joey, missing you both and hoping to see you soon as ever, at this rate we will be exchanging Xmas cards.
Glad you did the MRI Whiff, is not easy, so well done you, you must be relieved it is over and that now you can await the results.
Enjoy your holiday and report back when poss.
Allsorts I also worry about the children when parents take/smoke drugs, they must obviously not be fully aware or responsible, also the kids are brought up with drugs must think it is ok.
Makes me laugh when I think how we never rood drugs or drank around our children as they grew up, trying so hard to give a good example, but our EAC still treated us like the worst ever parents, and on the flip side am sure most children brought up with the smell of the cannabis their parents smoke in their faces probs won’t estrange from their parents.
Is always a mystery.

Sorry typing on my phone so a bit of gobbledygook there 🤨

Allsorts your quite right, I do try to let it blow over my head as nothing I can do about it and I have to remind myself it's their garden and the front is theirs too. But it's still the front of my property and I want it to look as good as possible. They are very loving to their C and the little one is sooo cute, same age as my little GD when I last saw her 2.5yrs.

Babs Yes, it's odd isn't it, the loving parents get CO'd and the not so nice are coveted! The windows look very pretty, but nothing better than looking out on the trees & birds & squirrels etc. and the odd cat or 2, one was on their trampoline the other day , no idea how he/she managed that! but they have all gone, just left with looking at the bright pink plastic play stuff and metal trampoline, no greenery left.

Had such a good time at the Yoga festival yesterday, going from one class to the other, no time to eat or drink, I did bring some water, so just as well. Did; Hatha Yoga then Kundalini Yoga, then Yoga Nidra, then Bollywood dancing which was great fun, finished with a cocoa ceremony in a Teepee during which the heavens opened, but we were nice and dry inside. Missed the drumming and the sound/gong bath sadly, but just not enough time to get round and do them all.

Afternoon everyone, hope you've all had a good week.

Glad the yoga festival went well on Sunday Yogin. Sounds like you were a busy bee and crammed a lot into one day .

Nothing wrong with having a moan about your neighbours, they do sound rather intrusive and we all know what a difference good neighbours make to our lives. Once mortgage free I can understand why taking on another one no matter how small, isn't appealing. Not something we'd have done either.

You'll have been pleased to get the MRI out of the way before setting off for Harogate Whiff. Must have been much better not having to have the tunnel version. I could never manage that because of my claustrophobia which seems to get worse as I get older.

Hope you enjoyed Harrogate. We've always enjoyed it when we've been, especially 'Betty's' .

In so many cases there seems to be no logic when it comes to estrangement Babs, and trying to understand why some become estranged while others don't can drive us mad if we let it.

We went to see 'Downton Abbey; The Grand Finale' last night. It was OK and being a fan of course I had to see it. It was better than the first Downton film and on a par with the second. None of them were a patch on the series though.

Lovely day here today but all change from tomorrow so we've made the best of the warm .

Morning all

Not so nice this morning, said to rain most of the day. DD&GDs coming for dinner later.

Been very productive this last few days; put in 9 new plants & managed to do all the woodwork in the garden with the wood protector. Had a haircut & booked Joey in for a groom with a new groomer, their web page sounded great, she's been in the business for around 25yrs and has done Crufts doggies too.

Have a nice weekend all, coming over very dark here now!

Well done Yogin, you have certainly got a lot done outside, you will be on that trampoline soon. I jumped on one a few years ago and was raring to go, thought it would be so easy but I couldn’t t stand up on it, I shamefully crawled off.
Beautiful, sunny day here and so warm. I am going out for lunch so can’t get in the garden to have a go at mine, My hair is getting too long and the slightest breeze has it all over my face, I had it cut short a few months ago and thought it would be easier but it is twice the trouble as it grows so fast. I like being able to tie it back.
Did anyone watch Strictly, really enjoyed it.

Not a bad day here today but getting cooler, spent Friday night in A&E because Mr B fell over and hit his head whilst trying to get out of a chair, had a CT scan on his head and there is a slight bleed on the brain from before but that is improving and there didn’t seem to be a new bleed. Went home in a taxi 4 in the morning. Nearest we get to being dirty stop outs 😂
Hope your holiday is going well Whiff, as for getting on a trampoline I did it once as a child and got my leg stuck down the side of it. Never again.
Take care all 🌹❤️

Babs, sorry about your late night out, fingers crossed Mr B is
OK. Hope you both got out in the sunshine today,
Welcome home Whiff, hope everyone has a good week.

I'll tell you about my holiday then reply to your posts if that's ok. Had a good journey there . Travel assistance was brilliant and got a taxi outside with a driver that will help me with my legs.
Hotel was down a very steep drive way which I didn't expect . Went to my room and as always checked before unpacking . Part of the ceiling was tiled over where the wardrobe was and there where gaps and part that I was worried it would fall down I know it probably won't have but if it did and set my startle reflex off in the night I wouldn't be able to move to turn on the light until my limbs loosen and there was a possibility it would set off my PAF . Went to and explained what I needed doing . So armed with wide tape the Beth put tape over the gaps and taped the ceiling for me. Had lovely view out of my window of the park with the large hotel which was park of the Hilton group.

The weather was awful but I could cut through the park to get into the town centre again a steep hill. But then flat . Went to a lovely restaurant and had halloumi burger but had it grilled not in crispy coating as the menu they changed it for me once I explained, I have found people are very helpful if you explain . Then explored some shops as always spoke to lot of people. But knew I wouldn't beable to make that walk again . Pre January I could but not now.

I hate the fact there is a pre and post January me. And hope the MRI shows something anything I don't care but I need to know why I am like this now. Having a poor me moment which I hate as it's not me .

Staff where great about my dinner needs but will be emailing Premier Inn again about lack of vegetarian choices . I prefer to eat veggie food when out . I do eat chicken and fish. But don't understand why they have beef lasagne and no vegetarian one . The tomato liquine had chilli in so couldn't have that . Only fish was in batter but had that with double tartar sauce to spread over to make the batter soft and peas . Can't have any thing to crispy like chips as they give me blood blisters in my mouth.
Staff have never made me feel odd like having my tonic water in a mug not a glass .

Bed comfortable as always but the room was perfect size for me as I always have the twin beds jointed together to make a double . But it would not have been suitable for someone in a wheelchair and needing the beds as twin . Shower room usual size so was wheelchair friendly.

Always have cold breakfast and have all the goodies I don't have at home . Had a taxi to Ripon weather rainy but plenty of shops to look at . Found a lovely cafe which was a training cafe of people with learning disabilities. My waitress had Downs and made me think my uncle would have loved working a place think this . Cakes all home made and delicious..They had a shop where other disabled people made candles,wax melts ,soaps and other products. Had lovely chat will manager she has a hidden disability but I never ask what. I explained and my National disability card which I always wear when out . She didn't know about it there is also national carers card as well. But not only makes you visible especially to travel assistance people means at railway station I can use the 1st class passenger lounge loo. And not have to walk to the other end of the station for disabled loo. Plus get money off shopping etc. Gets people through airports and customs quicker .
It's £20 for 2 years and if you need the carers one as well it's cheaper to buy together plus choice of lanyards my just says National disability card. But those with hidden disabilities can have that lanyard if they want plus other choices .

At dinner time got chatter with a man who had to have a leg amputated. He had manual wheelchair and said he found hills difficult. I asked why he hadn't got an electric one but had been told by the NHS he could have one if his other leg was amputated . He lost his leg at work and wanted to work again but because of his chair he couldn't. But couldn't afford to buy an electric one on benefits. It was a catch 22 situation he wanted to work .

Wednesday when to Knaresborough it was market day if I had a car would have brought loads of veg . The cheese sale was 3 long tables plus they had homemade butter in sticks wrapped in greaseproof. Those old enough to remember going into the grocer shop and the butter was a huge block and they weight and used those ribbed wooden paddles to make it into a rectangle.
Brought some fudge of the sweet stall. .

Knaresborough cathedral was beautiful. The arts and crafts pulpit was amazing . Along the stone shelf that people could seat on. A group of sewers had made long padded cushions with history of Knaresborough it had taken 5 years they run both sides of the cathedral. And where people took communion the padded kneelers had been wine ,wafers and flowers embroidery on them. There was so much to see . I have been in York minister and Knaresborough is far more beautiful. As you know I am an atheist but love old churches and cathedrals because of the workmanship and the tools they had available. The choir stalls the woodwork was very delicate all done in mahogany.

Went into the history of Knaresborough,lots of shops . Found lovely cafe had cauliflower and cheese soup delicious. I haven't made it for years . After some more shops went to the Flamingo cafe as I wanted some ice-cream and tea. Talking to the manager said some local people didn't like the flamingo decor but I thought it was lovely and it's what invited me in . It was so bright and cheery with the Flamingos .

Had dinner at at hotel as always have meal deal . Went to loo a 1am toilet flushed but no water out of the tap. I always take large packet of baby wipes with me . At 5am loo wouldn't flush no water out of the tap.

Morning all

Allsorts re: your trampoline jumping, it's harder than it looks, lots have broken bones on them! Yes, I watched 'Strictly', really enjoyed it, surprised how well the down syndrome girl is doing, she seems very capable.

Babs so sorry to hear your long visit to A&E with Mr.B, but good to hear no damage done, when you need to visit A&E you know you are in for the long haul!

Whiff sounds like you are having a good time on your hols, apart from the hills. I like watching that programme '4 in a bed'; record it to cut out ads etc. The last one a lovely lady had a cat hotel, massive mancoon cats, they were lovely. Stay safe xx

Whiff I wouldn’t call it a poor me moment, but just feeling frustrated because you want to know what is happening with your body, and you have become so well tuned to your body due to having HPX that you know there is something not right.
I am keeping everything crossed that your MRI gives you some answers.
One thing I have realised with Mr Bs ill health is that information is power. The more we know the more we can deal with what is happening and move on.
Glad that despite a few hitches your holiday is going well, hope the water came back on in your room.
Take care
🌹❤️

Thanks Yogi, not sure if you have visited our local A&E, I sincerely hope not. Is like a holding pen for the walking wounded. Not enough seats so some end up sitting or lying on the floor. Thankfully we are taken to a cubicle in the emergency room due to Mr B being really wobbly and unable to sit on the chairs.
Take care ❤️

Love reading about your holiday, Whiff. Such a lovely description