Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Hello everyone. Thank you Babs03 for the real crime program suggestions.

Fire works going off here now, sounds a bit like a war zone. My cats have almost got used to the bangs except when they start up again after a period of silence.

Trouble with an estranged relative trying to influence my GP has eased off and I’m making sure I write short missive to the GP outlining the estrangement apologies for my rellie bothering them and requesting specifically they are not to discuss me with them.

Bought Christmas cards and looking forward to writing and sending them.

Just watched the first 2 episodes of Riot Women in iPlayer. It's not an easy watch but it covers everything that happens to women of our age . Really good actors in it. But I know it covered things that I have dealt with and feel it will with further episodes. It's what I think they call it a dark comedy drama.

Babs thank you . I had been going to Mindfulness class for 12 lessons . What got me one said what a drama . Which really pissed me off . I am always upfront with people if they ask me things I answer . But always made it clear from the start Monday and Tuesday I was never free . I can do things in and emergency I am not that inflexible. I spent to many decades putting other people's needs first and lost myself . Since my move I found me again and I will not lose myself again unless dementia or Alzheimer's hits me . 😁.

I now have 5 things planned for next as asked for appointment to see my neurologist. Emailed his secretary and had the appointment come through within 2 hours . Said it wasn't urgent and I am no better or worse than when he saw my last so my appointment is in March .

Babs you would have understood as you would have listened to me. As you know with Mr B it's a fight to keep your mobility and with that independence.

My window cleaners brother and sister have revert mostly back to estrangement again since they're sisters funeral . He said if they see any of them out they just say hello. But like he said to much had been said and to long apart for it to be healed. But he is ok with that .

Going to the Royal Castle shop in the week . Have sent pictures of all my work to the person organising the decorations as she said they might like to put some of my things in a different place as well. She will get back to me she is doing a quiz for children with clues for them to spot things in the windows don't know if there is a prize or not but probably every complete quiz they with get a chocolate.

Well better get some Christmas presents wrapped and start on cards as it hurts to write . Think I will have to get a either pre printed stickers or rubber stamp and ink pad in the new year .

Hope you are all keeping well.

I get how you feel Whiff. You have a condition that requires you to plan and organise your life so you can enjoy a decent quality of life. Perhaps I wouldn’t have understood it a while ago but now I know exactly what you mean.
Am sorry you felt that your explanations fell on deaf ears, that is their problem not yours, keep on keeping on with what works for you.
🌹❤️

Told you I had been going to Mindfulness classes which ended yesterday. And we started a what's app group. I had explained about my HPX and my life works .

Have a wonderful time at the Brain Charity from 4-7 so glad I went saw old faces and new chatted to lot of people brought home how much I miss going . But will be going to the Christmas event.

When I had got home the mindfulness group had decided to meet up for lunch it's on a Monday. I said I couldn't go as I do sit fit . Family and friends know my Monday and Tuesday are written in stone . My brother and sister in law wanted to come and see me next month so told them any day but not Monday or Tuesday. So they are coming on a Wednesday.

One of them said surely I could give up sit fit once or twice a month to met them but I said no. Once I commit to something I stick to it no matter how much pain or how bad my mobility is I still go it's how my life works . Others with HPX are like me planning and routine is how our lives work and how we cope with our symptoms. After I came out of hospital on the Monday evening. I went to my sit fit class on the following Monday couldn't do the exercises but still went .

Why is it when I explain to people who say they understand they prove they don't. I am not hurt about about the person who expected me to change my life . But disappointed they didn't listen to what I said, they wanted to know about my HPX so explained. I am who I am and others with HPX are like me. We live our lives by planning and routine. I have been going to sit fit for nearly 3 years and I have only not gone if I am on holiday or hospital appointment as I fear if I give up an appointment there it will take long time before I get another one . GP appointments I always make for any day but not Monday or Tuesday.

Sorry to have a moan but feel disappointed. I understood about their health problems and see how their lives work . But this woman supposedly understood what I said but dismissed it .

Whiff your life is so full despite ongoing health issues. Is always an inspiration to read your rambles.
Sorry this month is also a sad time for you yogi.
As I was saying to another member on another thread the other day, the hurt doesn’t ever go away but we make space for it and get on with our lives, we know it’s there but for most of the time we can make the most of things.
🙏🏾❤️

Smileless, I think the answer is no, you won't forget. Every birthday of my d, is hard, every Christmas, the same. I am resigned it will always be this way. She is my daughter whom I loved for all my life, there is no off switch. Yet we cope, live round that space in our hearts, make different lives, move on.We laugh and are happy but those days are not easy.
Whiff, you are so determined to do all you can and your weeks are full and you have the right attutude. You must take a puncture of the Roy Castle window please.

Whiff, what a full schedule you always have, but pleased it keeps you active despite your limitations, dont know were you get your energy from but send me some 😆
Good call on getting a cleaner hope you find a good one, also scan results seemed ok
Take care busy lady x

Smiles my son isn't 40 yet so don't know if I will give a dam or not when he is . I do think of him and my grandsons everyday but it doesn't make me sad or angry . It is what it is . At least I know there is no hope of seeing or speaking to him again and that has given me peace of mind . I do wonder what my grandsons look like and the name of the youngest . But my husband dieing hurts me more than what my son has done . Especially as Christmas was his favourite time of the year .But only allow myself to be sad on Christmas eve never Christmas day.

Smiles it will be my brother's first grandchild he never thought he would be a granddad. But they will be long distance grandparents like I was for a lot of years . But like me they will never move from where they live now ..

Yogin sorry you feel it this month funny enough this year the date my son sent the email and later the letter just past by without me thinking about it . But estrangement effects everyone differently . I have no tolerance for bad behaviour plus have more important things to worry about . Decided to let go of hope 2 years ago and been happier. I can't live with what if it if onlies I suppose being widowed at 45 put things into prospective . Plus I only existed until I moved her and promised myself to live my life to the full . Don't want anyone to be dependant on me again nor do I want to be dependant on my daughter . I will never let her go through what I did . But I would do it all again as I can't change who I am.

Hopefully got the right person Sparkly did things get sorted about that interfering relative ?

Already got things booked rest of this month ,things booked for next month and 4 things booked for next year .

Big hugs to everyone who needs on . Never doubt yourself you are brilliant parents and if your kids can't see that then they need to look at their own parenting . But of course they think they are perfect .

❤️

Hi gang as usual lately a page behind..I really don't know when my life got so busy. This week went to chat and cuppa Monday morning picture of the cakes the bakery did for us. The manager of the shop did a Halloween kids party theme.for us hot sausage rolls and hot feta and spinach plus tomato sauce and brown plus the cakes . Always left overs for those who want it . Even the boxes where Halloween ones . Then sit fit .
Tuesday move it or lose it , yesterday singing and exercise today Mindfulness class our last so made chocolate brownies. Then straight taxi taking me to the Brain Charity yearly event . Hopefully see some old faces . Really missed not going . Tomorrow my new dehumidifier arriving . Plus display all my Christmas makes ready for us to display in a road in the village . Roy Castle shop said they will let us have a corner window they can sell everything I supply . Display on 1st December until 6th Jan. Plus there is a quiz for children with clues so they can spot items in windows don't know if there is a prize as will miss my craft group again as it's the same day as my last singing and exercise class.

The 7 of us got on so well at Mindfulness class one suggested a what's app group we said yes so she set it up our teacher is also on it . We are hoping to meet for a cuppa but will be chatting in the meantime. Funny how the 6 of us just clicked and our teacher is so calming and has helped us all.

I hate fireworks. Sounded like I was in a war zone last night so was in bed early to drown out the sound . Been going on for weeks but last night just to much. There is a petition to ban sale of fireworks,only organised displays . But I didn't sign it as it was only saying how it effects animals . There was a box to explain why you wouldn't sign it so told them why . I know animals are effected but they didn't even consider what it does to people with disabilities and conditions.

Smiles and Yogin hope you are both feeling better. One of my neighbours her daughter and family where bad with covid for 2 weeks and a friend who already has health problems got it just before having the jab been ill for 3 weeks . Glad I paid £86 to have covid jab as the government changed the results so this year I couldn't get it free . At least still had free flu jab.
My grandsons has their flu spray up their nose and my daughter had free flu jab at work . So that means my other 3 grandson's had theirs as well. My son and daughter in law always made sure they had all vaccines and like my daughter paid for the chickenpox jabs .

I know some people are still anti jabs but my parents always made sure we have ours we did the same for our kids and I have always had any that I can have . Missed out on free shingles as my birthday was 5 months before you could qualify for free jabs . But I made sure when my brother was 65 last year he went for his . I have to wait until I am 70 for free one . Looked at private but £400 for the 2 jabs is ridiculous. Had shingles last year but got antibiotics virals within 24 hours of the rash so didn't get it to bad.
My sister in law's dad got free covid jab but only because he is 93 his COPD wasn't on the list . My brother and sister in law get free flu jab but going to pay for covid as MS is not on the list.

Annoys me so much criminals and illegal immigrants get get better healthcare than people who are born here or come legally work and pay taxes and NI. And don't get me started on the idiots who go on about people flying the union flag or St George's cross,St Andrews ,St David's and Irish flag can't remember if they call it St Patrick's cross . Here in the north west people have been flying flags for decades . Now some extremists are moaning about the poppy .🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬. I have poppies on my bags all year round .

Smiles hope your light shades are gleaming now . Have decided I am going to get a cleaner from January it's no good I can't do somethings now. Probably once a fortnight for 2 hours . Getting it sorted tomorrow but going with a company because of the way my life works have to plan and have routine . That way someone will always come .
Don't know if anyone here has a cleaner?

Can't remember if I said had results of my MRI . My brain just has age related damage , cervical cord fine but lesion/ cyst under my scalp . When they did the CT scan in January they didn't do my whole head so missed it . Have to see my GP but also going to book an appointment to see my neurologist which will be probably next year. But I am the same and not gotten worse. My GP is referring me for speech therapy but that will probably be next year now. But found I can sing without stuttering,slurring or got get my words out . If my life was an opera have no problems talking 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Smiles at my singing and exercise class we do a warm up and vowel sounds low to high then back again . All things you probably do . Sang 4 songs yesterday including 7 verses and chorus of my Liverpool home . Apparently there are 34 verses. Bare necessities of life ,with a little help from my friend and thank you for the music . Plus singing while doing exercises but just things like row row your boat etc. Trouble is I am tone deaf but don't care. Our teacher has a beautiful voice plays guitar and other instruments and dances. Starting classes at age concern but it's in the city so can't go . Can't do the 4 hours round trip in a day now .

Hopefully there will be classes local I can join in January. Friend at cuppa and chat gave me the number of a woman that runs a singing group that is a mix of all singers good and bad . But will see exactly where it is in the next town . If it easy to get too will jon but it's at night so will have to see . As I don't tend to go on buses at night not because I don't feel safe here but because I get tired .

Anyway wondered off again me and my jumbled up brain 🤣.

Sending hugs Smileless 🤗 x

You can also get ‘cold case UK’ also with crime and investigation.

Sparkly I watched ‘On the case with Paula Zahn’ on discovery + and ‘homicide hunter’ on crime and investigation.
Both set in the US.
Xx

Evening all.

Smoke bush, Yogin, I will look into it…

I’ve got a lovely new cleaner, giving me a home wide deep clean just in time for Christmas.

Can anyone recommend channels or streaming services with Cold Cases or Real Crimes etc, regularly shown?

Thank you ☕️

Smiles xxx

Well, Smiles this is the month when we got cut out, also my estD birthday, 36yrs, so very much an adult, can't blame her behaviour on her youth.

Washing machine repair man just called to say he is on his way, worst machine I have ever had!!

Thank you Babs, I really needed that today xx

You said it Smileless was a big birthday, my ED passed hers a couple of years ago. It just hits home how much time has gone by without seeing them, and is a milestone you would otherwise have celebrated.
The hurt and the tears are always lurking in the wings waiting to catch us unawares.
Would remember the good times and give yourselves a pat on the back for doing the best you could for him as parents. The rest is down to him.
Thinking of you 🌹🌹❤️

Oh yes Yogin I was glued to the TV while Mr. S. decided to take the dogs for a long walk; I wonder why . Good to know that you're feeling better if not 100% fit.

Your DS sounds like ours. Brilliant cook but oh dear, what a mess he makes.

I needed some escapism, well we both did TBH as yesterday was ES's 40th and maybe because it was 'a big one', we both struggled to get him out of our minds which we haven't done when it's been his birthday for a few years now.

Will there ever be a time when it doesn't hurt anymore and we never cry about it again?

Morning all

Feeling better today, will be back to teaching Weds evening. Still not right though, not eating much, my son cooked the Sunday roast yesterday; 10/10 for dinner 5/10 for clearing up, the roasting dish wasn't even put in the dishwasher.

It was def. Covid, had it Xmas 2019, which was just before Covid was known. It would be good to know where I caught it from, but as you say Smiles, you can't know for sure.

Did you enjoy 'Dirty Dancing' Smiles? I've recorded it, didn't realise I haven't seen it!

Yes, lots of good programmes on; Strictly, Worlds apart and of course Traitors.

Will go out later, first time, taking some roses to my dad's garden of remembrance, almost a week late now! Surprised my sister hasn't been in touch as I always send her a pic on the day, 17yrs since he passed.

Take care all xxx

Morning everyone.

Netflix is rather addictive Allsorts and what with that and so much else that's available, it's a wonder I get anything done . I hope your back is feeling better, you must be careful not to over do things and set it off again.

On more than one occasion I've seen a desperate looking man on his 'phone, walking around a supermarket in a state of confusion Babs.

It's good to know that Mr.B. continues to improve gradually and that the bleed on his brain is gradually improving too. How are things regarding the move going? Do you have a completion date yet?

Hope you're better now Yogin, did you enjoy the Halloween Parade? With so much seemingly going around at the moment it's impossible to know where we pick things up from.

There are always one or two items when we get to the checkout that weren't on the list because Mr. S. fancied them Whiff and he always manages to drop them into the trolley without me seeing .

So your brother's going to be a GF, how lovely; will this be their first GC? I remember how thrilled we were when we got the news but we never got any real joy out of the experience which didn't even last a year .

I saw those threads and did wonder. It's good that they were deleted before stirring up any unpleasantness. There was enough of that last week on another forum. A new poster looking for support and advice who ended up asking for her thread to be deleted and when I tried to pm her I couldn't, so she must have left.

Had a nice meal out last night and then an evening of music when we got in. Haven't done that for a while so we really enjoyed it.

Getting Mr. S. to take down the two glass light shades we have over the breakfast bar so I can give them a good wash. The lights were on last night and I looked at them while wearing my glasses so had an OMG moment .

I shall be watching 'Dirty Dancing' this afternoon and as you can imagine, Mr. S.is thrilled .

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone xx

I haven’t watched Traitors but my DDs love it and keep telling me all about it.
I watched one of the non celebrity Traitors last year and got too cross about a young woman being hoodwinked by a handsome
charming young man whilst turning against a less good looking man who was actually looking out for her. I don’t think that I would be a good candidate for such a show, if I was traitor it would be totally obvious and would just think everyone else is a traitor and so not talk to anyone. 🤣

Whiff

Forgot to say my husband would say his mother's flying tonight . Happy Halloween. 🦹🧟

Ha ha that made me chuckle.
Great news for your brother and no doubt you will also be thrilled at the thoughts of a new arrival.
❤️

Yoga I tried watching the Traitors but found it very funny, I could not take it seriously. I watched three episodes and it just felt like dressing up for grown ups. I did like the Trojan Horse though and couldn't have set fire to it.
Whiff, My son bought me a witches broom many years ago, on Halloween, saying you kept your transport outside mother so I bought it in, he neatly got a clip round the ear.,,Lovely news shout your brother about to become a grandfather soon.

Forgot to say my husband would say his mother's flying tonight . Happy Halloween. 🦹🧟

Just wanted to post that. Now will catch up with all your news .

Smiles hope you are feeling better everyday . There are lots of bugs going around don't know if it's because we had it so hot for so long followed by the wet weather and it was perfect conditions for them to breed .

Can't remember if I said I had my flu jab weeks ago and paid to have my covid jab as I didn't qualify this year for free one . But if I do get covid at least I know it won't be as bad as without the jab .

Sparkly hope that relative has butted out of things they have no right to having an option about . And you are feeling better.

Mr S did better than my husband I could give him and list would get most of what I wanted plus extras that he thought would come in . In other words things he fancied 😂.

Smiles I wake every morning at 5 to start taking my tablets . Usually up at 7 but like today probably be 8. After my exercises and while my breakfast is cooking I do my pedalling . After breakfast get all the things I planned done . Then have lunch about 1 with TV on and then cross stitch or reply to emails or order things. My baking is done my short cut ways . And making my jams etc mainly involves sitting reading once it's boiling or simmering and just giving it a stir every 10 mins. With a cuppa listening to some music .

Allsorts hope you your back is feeling better. And able to do the things you want . I don't have paid for TV just use the free channels . I watch everything on catch up rarely watch live TV .

Babs glad Mr B is ok after your trip to A&E . Please look after yourself. When I was going to A&E a lot my daughter said I needed a reserve sticker on a chair 😄. Booked a phone appointment with my GP 2 weeks ago so got that this morning but 2 things added to my list of what I want to ask. If it's urgent you can see or speak to a GP on the day you need it or there are walk in clinics here which is better than going to A&E.

Yogin hope you are feeling better bugs are around up here . But worse when the children are back at school next week. Problem lot of bugs are air born so we never know what we are breathing in . Noticed few people have started wearing masks again here . Don't know if I could wear one again have then in but since my hospital stay back in January so much has changed and find very hot ,cold or windy weather effects my breathing. But would have to wear one if I had a cold and had to go out . Mind you it's no fun sneezing wearing one . But I always have clean ones with me .

Yogin I have been week early for things so have to make sure everything is on my calendar. If it's not there I forget .

Thought it was our last Mindfulness class yesterday but we can have another one next week our teacher asked us if we wanted to . We have formed a what's app group one of the class asked if we would like it so all said yes. There are 6 of us but we just clicked as a group and want to keep in touch and meet up for a cuppa . Funny how friendships are formed .

Have my last singing and exercise class on the 19th . Hopefully if there are classes with my area I will beable go to. There is lots of class at the office in the city but I can't go otherwise I would still go to the Brain Charity. But going to the Brain Charity event next week so will not beable to come home after my class and have a taxi straight to there as the event starts at 4-7. But looking forward to seeing old faces .

Monday morning it's chat and cuppa then home for short while then sit fit . So busy week again . Time flies so quickly since moving here.

My brother phoned think it was Monday I am going to be a great auntie in April. His eldest daughter got married 2 years ago . Thrilled for them both . Like I was for years they will be long distance nannie and grandad. My nephew and 2 nieces have never viewed my sister in law as Stepmom as she is better to them than their own mom who has always been a nightmare. But they have never abandoned her . My husband couldn't stand the sight of my brother's second wife I never liked her . But she was my brother's choice . So never said anything until they finally spilt for the last time after 22 years of on off marriage and divorced. I love my sister in law to bits and adopted her dad as my second dad .

Take care everyone and hope you are feeling better those who are ill.