I saw this video of a man talking about his late brother. He explained that he always felt a sense of melancholy, like he was 50% happy and 50% sad at any given time. He went on to say that he never really moved on, and that thinking about his brother helped keep his memory alive. He concluded by saying that he doesn’t think most people can simply move on and forget, nor should they. Instead, he believes that embracing the tragedy and continuing to remember them is the best thing to do.
Obviously my estranged son is alive and well(hopefully) but despite that, this really resonated with me. I used to feel guilty whenever I tried to forget about my son first, because I fail at that miserably, and second, because he is my baby. He was everything to me, and then he decided to leave. I am trying to embrace the tragedy as it is. I will no longer try to delude myself, cope, or gaslight myself.
