Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Marg75 - another person estranged 13/14 years now. At a time when estrangement was scarcely recognised/talked about. I often wonder if our EC was influenced by what they read on social media. Maybe I’m wrong but we were so naive about it at the time.
Not sure what love for an EC means now…..as Smiles said, our spirit gets broken and it’s so hard to recover. I too find myself rarely thinking about our EC now…..but it doesn’t stop me from being triggered every so often.
Overwhelming feeling is just one of sadness though, more than any love. How can you love someone who is now a stranger.

Spring your last sentence is so true. I love the son I had for 32 years. Who he he is now no idea. But I am also a stranger to him . I have changed a lot in 6 years since the estrangement but had already started that change the moment I move here 7 years next month.

I feel love for my 3 grandsons but because they are part of my husband they are strangers to. Where as the love I feel for my other 2 grandsons is strong as I know them both and would kill for them.

I know some have reconciled with estranged adult children and have a relationship with their grandchildren . But I am not the sort to forgive or forget . Still haven't forgiven my brother over what I now know was estrangement for 2 years over 35 years ago and never will. All caused by his 2nd wife's lies. I can never forgive how much he hurt our parents and my husband . We have always been close as there is only 16 months between us. And I had 3 witnesses to what I asked. She did want I needed as it was a medical problem but lied and said I forced her. I never liked her and my husband couldn't stand the sight of her. But she was family.

But family doesn't have to mean blood relatives. We can choose friends to become family ,those with pets they are family. I am glad I am the age I am now. I would hate missing out being brought up with a horde of family .members without the distraction of all the technology. Every pavement had hopscotch chalked on it ,children could play out without parents watching knowing other parents would help them if your child had an accident or needed the loo.

Of course things were different when my children where born but kids could still go to the park and playing field ,out on their bikes without parental supervision. But for my grandsons that's not the case anymore. Its not just having to worry about strangers in person but what they can see online .

At least when I grew up and my children you knew who the bullies where as they faced you . But now children and adults are bullied by people hiding behind a screen .

Here on GN there are bullies who take pleasure in hurting people because they are hiding behind a username. Thankfully others fight them and protect the vulnerable.

On a lighter note found myself instead of talking to myself in Sainsburys yesterday singing Ordinary a song we have learnt at choir what bits I could remember. Then walking from the bus stop Son of a Preacher man . Smiles I can understand why you loved singing in a choir . The 4 songs we will be recording are Earth song ,Because of you,Ordinary and Son of a preacher man . Then have 4 more new songs to learn by April we will have 12 to perform at a concert . Its not compulsory to go too the recording or do the concert but wild horses wouldn't stop me doing both.

At the Phil today for the year 4& 5 string orchestra, wind band and choir . Lot of proud parents and other relatives in the audience. Luckily my friend who had the bike accident is able to come but we are in a box so will be more comfortable for her.
And on that note with shut up . 😁

Morning everyone.

I don't know to what extent or any that our ES was influenced by social media Spring; any influence would have come from his wife.

I don't know if 13.5 years ago estrangement was being discussed on social media as much as it is now, if at all. It's not something we and I suspect any of us, would have looked into if not for our own estrangements.

I think we'll all experience triggers from time to time, I know we do even though I'm not sure I love our ES anymore. As you say how can you love someone who is now a stranger. On the rare occasions I do think about him, it's like looking back on a life and relationship that because it no longer exists, I find myself questioning if it ever was real.

How can something so wonderful which it was, turn into something so awful, which is what it's become.

Not wanting anything to do with our ES isn't about forgiveness or anger Whiff, it's about fear. The fear of being in a position to be hurt again because I honestly don't think I'd recover of it happened again, and don't think Mr. S. would either.

Hope you enjoyed the Phil.

We arrived at Alnwick yesterday, back to the cottage we stayed in last year and unlike last year, have swimming costumes so we can make use of the hot tub which we didn't know was here, which we'll do later.

Had Poppy's bed in our room last night as we weren't sure how she'd be without Pip. Keeping her with us today but hope to venture out this evening for a meal. Everything's within walking distance so we wont be out for long and we'll hang around for 5 minutes to make sure she's OK. If she's crying, it will be takeaways for the duration of our stay so fingers crossed.