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Estrangement

Just wanted to let you all know!

(101 Posts)
Noregrets Thu 12-Dec-19 13:11:59

My DH just phoned. He is at the supermarket, and received a text from my SIL. Can we pick up the GC and from school on Monday and have them for tea!
I am dumbstruck

ayse Thu 12-Dec-19 13:13:01

How lovely 😊

Madgran77 Thu 12-Dec-19 13:17:54

Wow, no wonder you are dumb struck, and maybe excited too?

You have your uses...how lovely ...but do be careful noregrets... both with what you do/say when you have the grandchildren and also with being seen as a useful "dogsbody" ..until suddenly you aren't again! It is an emotional rollercoaster flowers

lavenderzen Thu 12-Dec-19 13:21:51

That is so lovely, I am pleased for you flowers

Noregrets Thu 12-Dec-19 13:30:06

Thanks you!

MadGran, yes I am a bit in shock for the moment. It's significant that SIL texted DH, that wouldn't usually happen. It all needs careful handling but fortunately there's time to think carefully.
I don't want to go back to taking on a huge amount of child care, I'm 70 now so don't have too many good years left to do the things most people do in retirement. But it will be wonderful to see the children.
I do think the social worker may have said something, and my middle D agree

Noregrets Thu 12-Dec-19 13:32:50

Agrees!
And it will be necessary to tread carefully with the children, yes. One of them was recruited as Daddy's spy, to report back to him what was said, some time ago. 🙁

EllanVannin Thu 12-Dec-19 13:40:22

Could be because Christmas is coming up, though you do sound as though you'll tread lightly.

MovingOn2018 Thu 12-Dec-19 13:56:02

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lavenderzen Thu 12-Dec-19 14:00:33

How rude MovingOn2018.

Chewbacca Thu 12-Dec-19 14:01:20

Yay! Excellent news Noregrets, I'm so very pleased for you! smile

MovingOn, what a sour, nasty and unnecessary post that was. Do you feel better for posting that? It speaks volumes about you.

MovingOn2018 Thu 12-Dec-19 14:24:52

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Granniesunite Thu 12-Dec-19 14:26:59

Good news you'll be so pleased and of course you'll take good care of yourself as well as the children. Have a fun time with them. They'll be excited too.

Chewbacca Thu 12-Dec-19 14:30:08

The only thing that's just off about this is your post MovingOn. You're confusing "just speaking your mind" with spiteful, malcontentious and bitter.

Granniesunite Thu 12-Dec-19 14:32:27

Moving on. You sound as if you're very much rooted in unhappiness. Im sorry that you feel like that.Sometimes in life good things do happen. We have to be open and let them in and Noregrets is doing just that. I for one wish them all well.

Noregrets Thu 12-Dec-19 14:41:01

Thanks for defending me folks.
Don't worry, that particular poster has obviously conceived a completely false but fixed impression of my family circumstances.
I intend to ignore her, and if we all do the same, maybe the fun will go out of it for her. She's certainly not going to drive me away.

Chewbacca Thu 12-Dec-19 14:49:20

Acknowledged Noregrets; it was my turn a couple of weekends ago. I agree with your strategy.

MovingOn2018 Thu 12-Dec-19 14:51:50

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MovingOn2018 Thu 12-Dec-19 14:57:59

She's certainly not going to drive me away.

Unlike some posters who think they own this site and try to drive others away - I personally don't want to drive you away. I actually would love it if you stayed. Then just maybe I'd get to read on how the GC were eventually safeguarded from abuse.

Madgran77 Thu 12-Dec-19 15:16:25

Don't worry, that particular poster has obviously conceived a completely false but fixed impression of my family circumstances.

I have to say MovingOn you do appear to have ignored a number of things pointed out on a previous thread ("Mediation") regarding assumptions being made from aspects of Noregrets posts! That thread was eventually deleted by GNHQ! !! I will also follow NoRegrets strategy but felt it was relevant to remind all of previous discussions which eventually were lost because of unfortunate posts.

timetogo2016 Thu 12-Dec-19 15:20:32

AHHHHH bless you.
Christmas has come early for you.
Love a happy post.

Noregrets Thu 12-Dec-19 15:56:20

Bless the genuine and compassionate people here. I have pointed out to Gransnet that despite them deleting earlier comments, the onslaught continues.

Noregrets Thu 12-Dec-19 16:07:55

Just to be clear to anyone new to my situation. I was the person who reported the children's situation to children's services, almost a month ago. Two years ago, I was on the verge of doing so, but my daughter stepped up to the plate and things improved dramatically. The children all confirmed that they had no worries, and lived their Daddy. Phew.

Two years on, one of the children told me that recently, her Daddy's behaviour had become abusive again, in secret. I told my youngest D, who failed to protect them. Leaving me no choice but to report to children's services.

I was then cut off. But thankfully the children did disclose to school staff and a social worker, who remains involved.

Noregrets Thu 12-Dec-19 16:10:38

Loved their Daddy!

lavenderzen Thu 12-Dec-19 16:42:20

Noregrets I am sorry to read your story. You did what you had to do and what you felt was right. Being a mother is the hardest job on this earth.

I am so glad things are turning around for you flowers

SarahCGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 12-Dec-19 17:06:12

Just a reminder to get this conversation back on track. We've had to delete a few comments already - anymore and the discussion will stop making sense. There have been some interesting comments, so it would be a shame to have to delete the thread.