Where can you 'go' when you're out?

Congratulations + appreciation for airing this fundamental of all activities-I think it always helps to share however embarrassing it can be to mention the subject.

I have a bowel & bladder problem and got an 'I CANT WAIT' card that explains that I have a medical condition & need to use a loo.

In the past I've shown it in a variety of shops and have always been shown to their loo. It's brilliant and only cost £5 from The IBS Network. There is somewhere that does them but I can't remember who at the mo.

I was in Dubrovnik a couple of years ago, and there were no public loos!
I have IBS, and was getting a bit panicky. My gentleman friend, who is a seasoned traveller, led me to the nearest, very swanky hotel, and swanned in as though he owned the place. We used the very clean and upmarket facilities, and waltzed out again, nodding and smiling at the extremely chic receptionist. Not an eyelid was batted, tho' I felt rather guilty.

It was a different story on the return coach trip to our cruise ship. I went to use the coach toilet and was told 'NO USE - we just cleaned!' I sat with agonising stomach cramps for nearly two hours, then faced a long security queue to get on the ship and use the loo. I was so desperate, I was in tears, and the lovely crew shepherded me quickly on board to the medical facility - what a relief!

Unfortunately, I had to submit to a complete physical before they would let me out, in case I had some lurgy which would contaminate their beautifully sanitized ship. Very understandable, tho' - as anyone bringing a virus on board could cost them squillions of quid in compensation.

Anyway, that was quite enough of lavatorial adventures for me - and nowadays, I plot my course from one available loo to another!

I don't know the in and outs of the law but I imagine that cafes, hotels, large shops, etc., are obliged to provide toilets for their customers but they are not Public Toilets as such.

The councils should be responsible for provision.

Some years back Richmond council in London had some sort of scheme with local bars and cafes allowing their loos to be used by non-customers as part of a 'neighbourhood/encourage shoppers' effort.

Never realised you could use loos in hotels till the S.O. [who did a lot of travelling as a rep] took me into Bono's hotel in Dublin to have a peek[and also told me to go to the loo at the Queens in Cheltenham]. Not sure if security has tightened over the past few years though. Was really annoyed on a trip up north when we stopped off at a supermarket where I knew there was a loo and was desperate. I knew the loo was at the far end of the supermarket and, when I got there it was out of order. I do think a member of staff could have let me use a staff toilet but I was too 'desperate' to get agitated. Thankfully there were some public toilets nearby. He says that anywhere that sells food to eat instore has to provide a toilet.

Agree with lilygran - big hotels and pubs as well as cafes and burger bars. Wetherspoon's seem to have especially good loos and any pub has something! If I feel awkward I beam at the nearest bar staff, explain and offer money for the charity box. If Waitrose don't have a customer loo they will let you use the staff one, they do in Kent anyway!
Worst are certain charity shops, I took a donation into one, needed a loo and was told absolutely not on health and safety grounds. I was also refused at my Town Hall, a concert etc. venue. Usually fine to just go in but on one occasion a bossy woman barred my way as there was 'a function'. People in business clothes were drinking coffee in the foyer. I whispered my reason for coming in and she flatly refused and directed me to the Art Gallery. She really deserved a puddle.
In the 80s I did an anonymous survey for a good loo guide to the city. Pizza Express were great - 'yes, of course I could use theirs'. It was spotless, well equipped and had a vase of tulips.

There's no café in our Morrisons but they do have customer loos and petrol sales.
It all seems hit and miss.

It's worth getting a RADAR key so you can use disabled toilets. I bought one originally because I have difficulty with stairs - in many places (pubs, cafes, parks, stations...) the general loos are up or down a flight but there is usually a disabled loo with level access. I've since found it very useful when public loos are locked or expensive - though of course I always give someone in a wheelchair priority.

Susie M, our old Morrison's didn't have a cafe but you could ask any member of staff and they would escort you to their staff toilet. The shiny newer Morrison's has a cafe so does have customer loos.

Pubs and upmarket hotels. Pubs have to have loos and in my experience, they are quite relaxed about people coming in to use the facilities (though these may be variable). One country pub let me and DH use the loos even though they weren't open. Upmarket hotels because they usually have big, impersonal lobbies so you don't have to ask and nice or even luxurious loos. They are also good for getting out of the rain, taking advantage of the air conditioning or heating and sitting and reading free newspapers.

I have a card from the bowel and bladder foundation but hate using it as I'm very embarrassed by my condition which has been lifelong!! You'd think Id be used to it by now. I have bowel incontinence due to no sphinctre muscle and a deformed bowel I now have a sacral nerve implant which does help alot but I still have accidents and go into such a panic when it comes on that I render myself incapable of asking for help!!!!

The only supermarket in our town is Morrisons and they do not have a loo (no cafe nor petrol either).

In Saltzburg they won't even let you stand under their awnings when it is peeing down - they would probably faint clean away if you had the temerity to ask to use their toilets! I have a Shewee which i use when i am fishing remoter locations - the alternative would be to pee into my waders which doesn't have a lot to recommend it!?

French shops and cafes are far more understanding and helpful than in UK and quite happy to let non purchasing customers use their staff loos in an emergency.

I think I would threaten to wee on the floor of any shop that refused if I was desperate and had a medical condition.

I loathe public loos and would rather go behind a tree, and often do. It's good fertiliser anyway and according to GQT we should all be doing it on our compost heaps!

Just one thing people need be aware of. I worked in a particular type of shop and we often had people coming in and asking us to use our toilet facilities.We had to direct them to our nearest supermarket. We were actually forbidden to allow folk to use our toilet - reason- Health and Safety Regulations. (I kid you not) Our toilet facilities were down a flight of stairs, this was because a customer could sue if they fell down our stairs,plus only the staff were insured for accidents. So if a shop refuses please do not take it out on them, they may be in the same bind we were.
People made this situation though and here is as bad as the USA for sueing for every triviality.

About 20 years ago I was wandering around Chartres on my own and was getting a bit desperate when I found a little shop with a sign informing me that their loo was available even if I wasn't buying anything. Much relief! Would that more shops here and in France were equally considerate.

I think it's usually supermarkets that have a restaurant facility that have by law to provide toilets. Places like Aldi and Lidl and the Co-op don't.

I believe you can buy a special card for £5 which you show to restaurants and cafes and they let you use the loo. I think I saw it advertised when I filled in the form for my mother' Blue Badge.

Our Aldi' s doesn't MOnica.
Several of the large DIY stores do too but these are often on the outskirts of town. I usually look for a department store.

All supermarkets have customer loos.

That is one thing I love about America. All the shops have toilet facilities which cost nothing to use whether making a purchase or not.

A friend of mine has had UC since her teens and is now in her 50's she has had several hospital admissions since I've known her. It's a really awful condition, my sympathies to any sufferer. She has a card, and also a blue badge.

I have a SheWee which has been quite useful when out walking away from civilisation.

Heavens that must be so miserable for him. My DD had a friend with Crohn's Disease from a very young age, in her early teens I think. Awful for anyone to have to live almost their entire life with such a condition.

There's this for women:
www.amazon.com/Go-Girl-Female-Urination-Lavender/dp/B003BEDUS6
You would have to find a quiet corner in a park etc. I haven't got one, but someone told me about it.