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Everyday Ageism

The perks of old age

(32 Posts)
Beammeupscottie Fri 11-Nov-16 22:27:16

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.


02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.


03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.


04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?


05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.


06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.


07. Things you buy now won't wear out.


08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.


09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.


10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.


11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.


12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.


13. You sing along with elevator music.


14. Your eyes won't get much worse.


15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.


16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.


17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.


18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.


19. You can't remember who sent you this list.


And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.


Forward this
to every one you can remember right now!

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Shanma Sat 12-Nov-16 00:04:51

Funny, especially the sleeping pill and laxative bit, made me laugh out loud, thanks for that smile

ninathenana Sat 12-Nov-16 00:18:36

grin

rubylady Sat 12-Nov-16 06:39:36

I enjoyed no. 18, very funny. I can't even remember what I was going to type next! sadgrin

merlotgran Sat 12-Nov-16 08:54:24

Number 16 is spot on! grin

Jane10 Sat 12-Nov-16 09:45:54

Brilliant!grin

Thingmajig Sat 12-Nov-16 09:50:59

Excellent, thank you! grin

Jalima Sat 12-Nov-16 10:19:08

No 7 - my friend's DM used to to say 'that will see me out' if she bought something new.

I found myself saying it the other day .....

No 12 grin

Elainefriend Mon 18-Sep-17 21:19:33

Singing along to elevator music made me laugh out loud, it sums up a simplistic contentment. Us war and post-war babies are very easily pleased.

Charleygirl Mon 18-Sep-17 22:11:56

I have had my house refurbished and everything I have had done or bought is "for the last time".

I laughed out loud at some of these-no.9.

Very funny

lemongrove Mon 18-Sep-17 23:10:04

Very good list.🤣
Other perks, concessions and blaming bad memory for forgetting to cook supper or iron shirts.

Marydoll Mon 18-Sep-17 23:14:44

The list made me laugh.

No point in buying anything with a 25 yr guarantee.

pensionpat Mon 18-Sep-17 23:15:56

Don't know if this really a perk, but if call down to my husband to run upstairs to make love, he replies "make up your mind. I can't manage both"

M0nica Tue 19-Sep-17 13:33:57

Depressing, if true.

BBbevan Tue 19-Sep-17 13:54:34

I take my glasses off for sex

Imperfect27 Tue 19-Sep-17 14:54:15

Ha ha ha! Glad my eyes won't get much worst - blind as a bat already!

Great list .

lemongrove Tue 19-Sep-17 14:58:53

I hope you take more excercise than that BBbevan 😆

Charleygirl Tue 19-Sep-17 16:59:45

Being Scottish I was always lead to believe as a child that sex were bags of coal kept in a bath!

Menopaws Tue 19-Sep-17 17:25:02

All mirrors lie

BBbevan Wed 20-Sep-17 15:11:29

That would be telling lemongrove I do have four pairs of glasses though for variety you know

Serkeen Wed 20-Sep-17 15:58:02

Getting more respect from people

Getting offered a seat on the bus

Not having the stress of feeding clothing your children

going on holiday for as long as you want

being free to go where and when you want to

having time to do the things you couldn't when you were younger "I can't wait to be your age because then I won't have any money worries"' she looked at me with un certainty and she was right .. still have to worry about money and my security just as much as I did then sad I don't think she had the guts to point that out to me but I think she was thinking it.

Serkeen Wed 20-Sep-17 15:59:26

sorry typo I meant to add I remember saying to my mum that I couldn't wait to be her age as then I would not have money worries anymore

Serkeen Wed 20-Sep-17 16:00:48

If I had financial security it would change my life, still trying to achieve that and still have not lost hope

MaudLillian Tue 22-May-18 00:14:42

I like being offered a seat on trains and buses. And no longer needing to bother what I'm wearing - I can put on clothes with colour clashes or even go out in my slippers, and nobody is bothered! I like getting 'concessions' on prices everywhere I go too.

Besstwishes Tue 22-May-18 04:25:13

Apart from items 1 and 2 you could put a negative spin on all of these!

ie. can’t run anymore, always have to go to bed before 9 pm, can’t eat after 4 pm because I get indigestion, thank goodness for health Insurance because I’m ill all of the time.
Etc.

Thank goodness I have more time to do things, I have to because I seem to have 2 speeds, dead slow and stop!

Growing old isn’t for sissies.....