So how old do you think I am? (Don’t answer that!)

My EX mother in law kept talking about when we were young, meaning she and I despite knowing my EX and I were exactly the same age, perhaps that’s why he and she are firmly in the EX category and off my Christmas list.

Quite agree with Maw about driving in Milton Keynes as being built on the grid system all the roads look exactly the same; it's a nightmare!
No way do I feel 'elderly' and I am 74 next birthday!
I am the eldest of four girls and my next sister down has always introduced me as her older sister. She was most put out once when an old friend mistook me for the youngest of the four! I was most gratified!

Ha !! at a funeral recently I was chatting to an acquaintance of the deceased when a mourner came up and said to me 'It's lovely to see your daughter here'.....the woman was 60 ...I am 70 !!! not sure if this was a compliment to her as he thought she looked young enough to be my daughter, or that he thought I looked at least 80 !!!!!! not offended though ...now she and her family have become 'Hon, daughter.s I l and grandson' and I am now Hon. mum ///but made a lovely new friend from this !!

I'm in my 60s so accept I'm getting old. What I didn't like was being counted as old when I was in my 50s - that is pure ageism. An HR Manager at work referred to staff in their 50s as elderly. Several times I had it suggested I could use my pensioner bus pass for ID. My DB and SIL moved house in their mid 50s and were asked by new neighbours what they did before retirement.
Neither was I too happy recently when someone aged 40 thought I was late 70s/early 80s.

You are what you are.

Appreciate any kind comments.
After all, it wasn’t an insulting remark, just a kindly one.

I am also in my seventies. We are no spring chickens either.

i was on the other end of the receiving end. assistant said when you get as old as me. hmm says me .you over 60 then.? she said no i'm 52 , yippee thought me.!!!!! i said i was 61 ,noooo she says .yes says i and i'm wiser and older than you so shut up
haha...

I do think that if someone offers their seat then the correct response is 'thank you very much' and sit down. To make someone feel silly by rejecting their offer is really a bit of a slap in the face and will probably make them think twice before offering again. I think this applies no matter how young you feel.

After my hysterectomy aged 39 I found my memory and mental agility were completely shot. I visited the doctor (a very young locum) who said "Of course, mental agility does decline with age" . . ???

After I had a hysterectomy aged 39 I found my memory and mental processes were completely shot. I visited the doctor (a young locum) who said "Of course, mental agility does decline with age" . . ???

When DGS3 failed his driving test after messing up the approach to a busy, one-way intersection I sympathised and said that at times it could be a bit of a pain.

DD said, 'There you go. Even Granny hates driving there despite all her experience.'

That wasn't what I said or meant but I let it go.

Sometimes compliments feel more like insults!

'Oh, to see ourselves as others see us!' said someone too clever for their own good a long time ago.

Yesterday my small grandson asked me if I was going to die because I was so old. After reassuring him I foolishly asked how old do you think I am?’ ‘183’ came the immediate response. And there was me thinking I looked good for my late sixties!

I was in Sainbury’s with my partner, riding my new mobility scooter. My partner always does the packing because I don’t do it the way he likes (!) At the checkout I moved up so the lady behind could start putting her things of the conveyor belt and she leaned over and said ‘Don’t worry darling, my husband had a scooter I know what it’s like. I smiled politely and then she said ‘Is that your son? well, what could I say - I am 67 and my partner is 71!

Does it really matter how old/young we look, we are the age we are - end of.

I was in a busy JL cafe last week when the checkout lady called an assistant over to carry my laden tray. I don't think it was an age thing - I probably just looked like an accident waiting to happen as I was carrying bag, coat etc. I was so pleased to get such special treatment.

We have such a minefield of not offending people these days, and it's impossible to think through how to express everything before we speak, so I try to make allowances for gaffes. If you were expressing nervousness on local roads Maw the M&S assistant was probably trying to express encouragement that you hadn't given up. She wouldn't have known you were a regular and competent driver. Agree with Tillybelle - best to be gracious and give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes those trying to be helpful must feel 'damned if you do and damned if you don't'. If someone offers me a seat on a bus, I accept it, thinking I must look as if I need it! I think they might not ask someone else if the offer is rebuffed.

On the other hand, I didn't practice what I preach or feel gracious at all towards the optician who told me, when I was asking if prolonged screen work could have quickly worsened my eyesight, that I should expect my eyesight to be deteriorating fast at my age (40)!

I have had this both ways. I have used a stick since my early 40’s, people equate sticks with all old or senility even though I had a young child but then 4 years ago I had a stroke and my daughters,both early 20’s followed the ambulance to the hospital. As I was being pushed to my bed one of the nurses said your sisters are waiting in the family room til they can see you. Wonder if she had bad eyesight or just trying to be nice lol

I think age is an attitude more than a number. If you can still get about independently and have all of your faculties you are doing well and you are young. That is what I think. My sister is in her mid seventies and still walks 5k every day and runs 5k every weekend even in the rain. She also swims 1 mile about 3 times each week and is as fit as a fiddle. Our Mum was the same, always kept herself physically active walking and gardening and mentally active as could do countdown and crosswords and played a mean game of scrabble in her mid eighties. I just try to look after myself, eating well, light exercise like swimming and stretches, only wear makeup when going out somewhere in evening, not too much alcohol, walking in fresh air, good moisturizer and occasional facial. I feel young so I am young. I think if you have your health it is easier to feel young. I don't expect the sales assistant was meaning to be insulting. Probably just wishing her Mum was still driving.

I went into Clarks once and the sales assistant told me 'we have a sale on slippers now!'. I told him I was allergic to slippers. Never wear them, ever.

I think that driving in older age is a separate aspect.
It involves a risk to other people.

I went into a boots chemist and a young chap asked me at the till, I could apply for getting double points for my purchase being 60. I looked at the woman next to me and she said I'd say nothing. I looked back at the young man and said you would feel a bit of a fool if I wasnt 60 don't assume. Also one day I had just had my hair cut and blow dried when I walked back to my car and was stopped by one of these people selling and asked if I would be interested in having a make over.

As a child I was taught that it's rude to make personal remarks even if only implied and even if you think you're paying a compliment. As a teacher, I tried to impress that on the Y1/Y2 children in my class especially when they cheerfully announced, "Mrs Popbottle, Your hair is sticking up!" (I've always had trouble with my hair!) Children blurt out the first thing in their heads. Trouble is, the majority of us never grow out of it. I asked a lad in my karate class if the man who brought him (grey hair, portly, obviously middle-aged) was his dad or grandad! As soon as the words were out I wished for the floor to open and swallow me. Of course the guy is his dad. I felt bad for ages, lay awake at night even! Most people don't ever realise they might offend. The odd slip up is salutary, for me anyway. It makes me think twice for a while.... But, if we had to consider every word before we spoke, we'd be too worried to speak at all!

I am with Baggs, my first thought was that the shop assistants comment was more about her own mother. I could go further and suggest that she was probably being honest in agreeing about the roundabout, but might have been a very competent driver and was just being polite - imagine if she had said "don't be silly, that roundabout is easy to navigate, perhaps you should consider whether you should still be driving." Then there might be a case to take offence!

Apricity

I think its nicer to be a bit gracious. Absolutely! I couldn't agree more.

Funnily enough, I adore Miss Marple and she has been my role model since my 30s. I used to tell my children "When I grow up (!) I am going to be Miss Marple". My favourite is Joan Hickson - so much truer to Agatha Christi's writing than the modern ones.

I actually appreciate it a lot better when people offer help. Being disabled, although possibly not always obviously so, I am nervous carrying hot drinks near people as I tend to be wobbly. In the cafes and coffee shops where I live, the young staff are so sweet about looking after me. I also sing with the University choir where I used to teach. The students are wonderful! So funny and yet so very kind and helpful. I think to grow old graciously is something to aim for.

As for driving - I have always driven a lot and driven large vehicles too. My husband died when I was just 42, so I had to do everything. At nearly 70 I am not embarrassed to say that driving in my part of England isn't the same as it was. Much more traffic and complicated road schemes. The pleasure in it went long ago. I drive of necessity, not for pleasure. If I could pay someone to drive me I might consider it!

Not age related but also M & S, I popped in after doing my driving license photos in a photo booth. I thought I was looking rather good - hair done, nice makeup, smart top. When I was served in M&S the assistant asked "would you like bags, sir?".

You are a great deal braver than me Maw as to where you drive, so hats off to you.
I asked DGS aged 6 how old did he think I was.....answer
29 ?
I expect that sounds very old to him though.