Gransnet forums

Everyday Ageism

So how old do you think I am? (Don’t answer that!)

(159 Posts)
MawBroon Thu 25-Oct-18 12:33:29

Recently in M&S the assistant was extolling the virtues of a super big M&S at the other end of MK in an area I try to avoid because of the complicated roundabouts!
When I said this she agreed but added “but good that you are still driving, my mum has given up now.”
She must have been in her 50’s at least - how did that make me feel?
PS I am70 , and IMHO do not look my age, whatever that may mean!
Do I need a new moisturiser or lippy?

Diggingdoris Fri 26-Oct-18 10:38:57

I recently had to take my 13yr old granddaughter for a hearing test and was asked, 'are you her Mum?'. I was very flattered at first then I wondered if the lady should have a sight test, as I'm 67 and have the wrinkles and grey hair to prove it.

sandelf Fri 26-Oct-18 10:38:41

On the nicer side - I was recently on the tube and a chap offered me his seat as I got on - I said no thanks I'm fine (thinks 'do I look that old') then as the time passed and I'd had a look round the carriage, I was definitely the oldest person there. And had I needed a seat would have been glad of it. And people say manners have declined - not always smile

Tooyoungytobeagrandma Fri 26-Oct-18 10:38:40

I'm wearing well so I'm told but on holiday some years back (aged 55) with my late teens dd I was standing outside a fitting room when a member of staff said "oh do take a seat it's so tiring out with grandkids isn't it"!!! We left without purchase having anything, I was really upset my dd thought it hilarious Now in my 60s everyone says "no you can't be that old"! grin

mabon1 Fri 26-Oct-18 10:37:49

Ageist

Nannan2 Fri 26-Oct-18 10:36:06

I was wed at 16- had my first child by 17- my daughter had her first at 18-consequently my eldest grandchild is nearly 21! Im 55 and no thank goodness i dont look it-none of the girls in our family look as though theyre ageing thanks to good family skin/genes on my grandmas side.grin(doesnt stop me feeling 90 some days though)lol grin

sarahcyn Fri 26-Oct-18 10:34:13

I can remember being shocked and disgusted to discover that Clint Eastwood, who I'd been happily lusting after, was FORTY. Forty! Ancient! Yuck! What was I thinking!

sarahcyn Fri 26-Oct-18 10:33:03

Riverwalk, to be fair, a lot of people in London think the 60+card is called the Freedom Pass.
I don't care what it's called, I'm totally all over the town now! Brilliant!

helenmabr Fri 26-Oct-18 10:32:20

When l was young everyone over 40 looked old and l could never tell how old they were. Now l am 64 everyone under 40 just looks really young and now l can never tell how young they are!

lindiann Fri 26-Oct-18 10:31:23

I am 59 my disabled brother 76. At a recent hospital appointment a Lovely Lady helped me push him in his wheelchair but then asked him if I was his Mother hmm

henetha Fri 26-Oct-18 10:28:27

I'm over 80 and am beginning to look it, I think. One thing about ageing that I appreciate is the kindness of strangers.
People wherever I go are invariably nice to me. Perhaps I look really pathetic!
I still drive and have no intention of giving it up.

Nanny41 Fri 26-Oct-18 10:22:27

Gonegirl,I am the same age as you, and feel much younger,I am pretty healthy, dont act my age ( probably childish) however I like the "perks" of getting on, people help, give up seats, help carry luggage up and down escalators, on and off trains etc, I am glad I can still travel far and wide "at my age"

frankie74 Fri 26-Oct-18 10:20:54

Something said in M&S to my OH who was looking for an admittedly "previous season" denim shirt. The young man told him to go and look in Help the Aged! angry

Tamayra Fri 26-Oct-18 10:20:22

I’m 76 Drive everyday everywhere
Don’t feel old at all No aches & pains No medication needed
Then I look in the mirror & get a reality check !

kittylester Fri 26-Oct-18 09:40:57

MOnica, your decimal currency story made me smile. I was volunteer at WRVS when the change happened and, in those days we sold formula milk, at a reduced price. The packs cost 1/6d but I was the only person in the whole place who could work out the cost of more than one packet (7.5p each) and be guaranteed to give the right change. I have no idea how the staff coped on the days I wasn't there!

Charleygirl5 Fri 26-Oct-18 09:30:50

I was asked by the BS to produce ID and the girl was gobsmacked when I produced my driving licence and even said she did not think I still had one. I was 74 a few weeks ago, I am 75 now. Maybe she thought I should have stopped driving when I retired.

kittylester Fri 26-Oct-18 06:48:59

As we have a 5 children, I have always driven a big car while dh has had a variety of small, often sports cars. I have lost count of the number of men who find it necessary to help me park - standing behind me flapping their arms around. So, it isn't just an age thing! The worst instance was one older man who said my husband shouldn't let me drive his big car!

I love driving, like to think that I am a good driver and I intend to continue as long as possible.

Rufus2 Fri 26-Oct-18 04:42:29

It was when I became REALLY old (over 80) I began to panic about losing my independence
Fennel; Relax! Wait until you are REALLY, REALLY old (over 90). Everyone automatically assumes you're senile, so smile and take advantage of it whilst you can. Just keep a look-out for men in white coats! grin
As you all know, I'm 91 and still a competent driver, (they've just renewed my licence for a further 3 years), but I"ll know when to surrender it, if the law doesn't get me first; I'll be devastated to lose it of course, but my life and the lives of others are far more important. I keep thinking of that slogan on the reg. plate of a hearse I followed recently; "Stay Alert; Stay Alive" Wise words! wink

janeainsworth Fri 26-Oct-18 02:24:00

Apricity I agree. I always accept offers of help to carry trays etc.
Ever since the time I was in a rather smart coffee shop, carrying a tray of several cups of tea and scones, and managed to trip over DGD’s long trailing scarf which I had forgotten I was carrying at the same time blushblushblush
Luckily the only injury was to my pride. The lovely staff rushed over, picked me up, picked up the broken crockery, made some more tea, escorted me to our table and then carried the replacement cups of tea over for me. blushblush
I accept any offers of help as gracefully as I can, in the spirit in which they are offered.
I don’t see them as patronising.
Quite different from Maw’s experience.

Grandma2213 Fri 26-Oct-18 01:52:33

Is it sad that when I was knocked over by a car reversing down a one way street, I was pleased to be reported as almost 20 years younger in the news report. Actually I was quite badly hurt and felt 20 years older for several weeks!

Apricity Fri 26-Oct-18 01:07:42

Some of the comments and actions such as offering to assist with a tray may be a bit patronising but they generally stem from an attempt to be pleasant or helpful. I'd rather have that experience than crass rudeness or being knocked over in some self absorbed rush. Sometimes I think its nicer to be a bit gracious and perhaps a role model as an active, interesting and courteous older person rather than a snappy old grump. I'm working on my Antipodean Miss Marple impersonation.

MawBroon Thu 25-Oct-18 22:25:35

Good grief

M0nica Thu 25-Oct-18 22:18:50

A friend's mother was 55 when decimal coinage came in. She decided she was too old to understand it and refused to use it. She never handled money again. Her husband had to do all the shopping, go with her when she bought clothes or anything personal, handle all the bill paying and everything else. She lived another 30 years.

MawBroon Thu 25-Oct-18 22:18:49

Absolutely PECS how else would I get about?

I might reconsider in 10 years when I hit 80, but at the moment find it odd o be lumped into a group who are somehow regarded as unusual!

PECS Thu 25-Oct-18 21:56:59

Keep on driving MAW age is not a number but an attitude of mind. ignore the person who judged you by her mother's standard ..she could have been "old" at 40! smile

MawBroon Thu 25-Oct-18 21:47:57

Good stat MiceElf but what bugged me was this faint praise for “still driving” . I dare say the day will come when I feel my eyesight or reactions are not all they should be and I hope I will have the sense to open an account with a mini cab firm, but that day is not now.
?????????