This one thing about being older

I use Whatsapp, Facetime and Skype all set up by my children.
Photos are sent to us or as a group and messages and we can speak face to face.
This is wonderful technology and although many miles away from us we can see our children and our grandchildren growing up. I think as GP for us this is wonderful.
We are so blessed that we have this technology our life is enriched by it.
If you have no interest then don't use it. Your life is your life to make decisions as you think suits you.

I worked with computers from the early 80s - huge mainframes - and still do. My family are all over the world and I love being able to catch up and see what’s going on. I don’t do Instagram or Twitter as I just don’t have the time but I am still fascinated by everything computer related and learn more every day.

The problem is holding the stylus. All the stylus I have seen have a very fine stem which means you have to hold it with the tips of the fingers - which I cannot feel!

MOnica, I have trouble with my fingers too so I use a stylus on my phone. Easily obtainable, I've got a selection in pretty colours.

I have great difficulty with phone keyboards. the tips of several of my fingers are permanently numb so texting is a slow and laborious process.

One friend who spent her working life designing complicated systems for air traffic control and defence systems, now she has retired only owns a non-smart phone and has no home computer.

DD's closest friend, not yet 50, also works in the defence industry designing systems, in her case, as well as not having a smart phone, tablet or home computer, she will not have a credit cards either because of security concerns.

Drives DD nuts when they holiday together as she has to make all the bookings. Her friend doesn#t drive either. Bluebird you are at the cutting edge of technology compared with many.

I'm proud to be an 'old fuddy duddy' myself - nothing wrong with it!

I used to teach IT but still I can't be bothered with Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram etc. I use the laptop, email, text on my mobile and Skpe - but that's all.

I tend to use the house phone for calls and only contact people very occasionally. I don't use email/internet on my phone as it's just too small for me, even wearing glasses!

I am on GN and that is it. Like others I can be contacted by text or email.

I do not give a tinkers cuss what other people think of me, or whether I am technically a neanderthal. I acquire and use technology as I feel a need for it.

As for worrying about it or it reducing me to tears, get a sense of proportion.

I like to try and stay up to date. Loads of friends, relatives and colleagues on facebook. I do have a smart phone and check news and facebook news regularly. Many people will put stuff on there and I like the contact. It keeps me in touch without ringing people friends use Messenger, WhatsApp and Instagram and we have a work WhatsApp group too. OP - do you feel you are being kept in the dark by relatives?

Absolutely right MissA I only e-mail and share a a couple of Whstsapp groups with friends and family. No FB, Twitter or any other social media.

I think you are upset perhaps because you see the younger family members moving on and living different lives. Don't stress about this enjoy your life as you want it Bluebird.

The one thing about getting older, as far as I'm concerned, is doing whatever you feel comfortable with.
That's priceless.

I agree with Buffy, WhatsApp is good. I too have the Instagram app, but I can’t really get it, I have recommendations for Michelle Obama, the local handyman and everyone in between, I asked my daughter why I was swamped on a daily basis with stuff from an American actor completely unknown to me, an she said I was following him!

I felt like a voyeur, I certainly didn’t want to be following him.

I had Facebook originally to keep up with what my Grandchildren and some friends were up to but apparently it's 'old hat ' now and all the young ones are on Instagram, which I can't get my head round, even though I have the app.
The one thing I find really useful is Whatsapp, to send and receive photos and a couple of Group chats.
I must say OP that if I didn't have these Apps, I would not be in the loop as much with my younger family.
Try Whatsapp, I think you'd like it.

It's not really superficial for them, where we walked next door or hung out in the community and showed our faces, they hang out on online communities. Some need a lot of attention but that hasn't really changed. It's just a different way of doing it. I don't really post much to Facebook but still use it to keep in contact. Can't be bothered with Instagram or twitter. You can still communicate your way without posting selfies etc. I really wouldn't worry. WhatsApp is basically free texts and worth having x

We use whatsapp and other SM dislike Facebook but don’t understand why you would be in tears over it, I think there is something else going on. As you say you are increasingly anxious about others seeing you as an oldie as you don’t use instagram etc, you are busy in the real world you say, that’s great Bluebird64, and you have to take time to carve out and scroll through mostly uninteresting content. Why are you worried about what ppl think of you regarding this, I don’t understand! So so sorry to hear about your son. I’m sure your family can and do contact you via phone, text, whatever, I bet they would be surprised to think you are getting upset over this. Don’t worry Bluebird64 be kind to yourself

I wonder if the outpouring of emotion is because of your feelings about being older. It is almost inevitable that you will be seen as a fuddy duddy by someone. But it will be their turn one day.

We use WhatsApp, we have a group page, and individual ones, it useful, we can have a chat, make arrangements, send photos, tell each other what we’re reading. My two oldest grandchildren are in the group, and it’s good to keep in touch with them.

I have never, and will never have Facebook, I worry about all the information my children put out there. They know I hate it, it doesn’t make me feel old or out of touch, I think I’m the type of person who wouldn’t have liked it even when I was younger.

I do it all bar Snapchat. We have some hilarious family conversations over messenger, and it is very useful for organising things. Facebook is for Social things, Messenger for contact, Instagram for Crafts and Twitter for Politics!

I use Facebook but managed to fill up my feed with all sorts of nostalgia/vintage pages, so that by evening there are lots of old photos and stories from various places I used to live.

There is enough of it to practically crowd out all the selfies one of the GDs is always posting with vague complaints about the family. Success!

I didnt know about the bereavement, Bluebird; I'm sorry, that's different. Sadness gets all muddled up with the buses running late, so I do understand, anything can set it off.
try to be kind and gentle with your self. all the best.

I only do facebook and limit friends to people I know and care about - apart from family that includes people I worked with when I lived abroad, and old school friends. I feel grateful that one of my daughters in law includes me on her fb page as my son is not into it. I can’t imagine that my 15yr old grandson would want his granny to see his posts but it is possible to keep some posts restricted to certain friends only, so when he is allowed to join facebook ( dad has said no so far but I wonder how he can stop him), perhaps I will get to ‘friend’ him. We only meet once a year, and I have never felt comfortable with skype and facetime.

Whatsapp is just texting, except its free and you can have group chats, so most people consider that "basic" phone use not social media. Consider it, its not like instagram etc, you dont have followers etc just the people in your phones address book

A lot of young people I know dont use SM much, in fact its the older people I know who use it most!

The way I view this is that we do get older.
It is just a fact.
The concerns of the young with social media do not interest me and I see no harm or loss in that.

You should not worry about being a "fuddyduddy".
You have the wisdom and experience that the young ones will come to later on in their life.

Be there to be seen as the "wise old crone" well that is what I wish for but not really sure it is happening sadly.

I assume they have a mobile phone and can text. I'm only on Facebook so I can see friends/family holiday photos and that's about it. My profile picture which I very reluctantly put on is of my late cat and I point blank refuse to post pictures of anything.
If I go out for lunch/dinner I'm not going to take a photo of my meal though plenty do. It's a nonsensical sign of the times.

Hardly anyone I know uses Facebook, Instagram etc. They are all totally unnecessary.

Anyone who wants to let me know about anything can
a) phone me
b) text me
c) message me on WhatsApp (close family only)
d) walk round and see me
e) write me a letter

I really don't want to know every little detail of other people's lives, or want them to know mine.

I suspect many young people might like to get rid of their social media accounts but are too scared to do so.

I like WhatsApp. Apart from Mumsnet and Gransnet, I don't do social media. I particularly dislike Facebook, which is full of bollox.

You're older, OP - own it!

Who gives a shiny sh***te what others think?