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Everyday Ageism

Thoughts when Others Make Negative or Offensive Comments

(23 Posts)
ss1024 Wed 30-Dec-20 13:30:45

I was wondering what other people say in their head when someone makes a negative or offensive comment and you don't wish to verbally reply. I have gotten in the habit of singing in my head "Let it Go" to the tune of "Let it Snow".

FannyCornforth Wed 30-Dec-20 13:36:16

Sorry, nothing to add, except that I'm now head-singing 'Let it Snow' to the tune of 'Let it Go'.tchconfused

Spangler Wed 30-Dec-20 13:47:47

Just after my hip replacement, I got called: "A doddering old $%&£! from a motorist because the pedestrian lights had changed to red before I reached the end of the crossing. I just turned, looked him in the eye and said: "I'm the same," and carried on. His look of bewilderment was priceless.

SueDonim Wed 30-Dec-20 14:12:50

‘Did you mean to be so rude?’ is a handy response.

cornishpatsy Wed 30-Dec-20 14:15:27

I really dont care what people say unless it is someone whose opinion I value.

Sleepygran Wed 30-Dec-20 14:44:43

I generally think,what a rude,ignorant Person.And then must remind myself to make sure it doesn’t spoil my day!

Redhead56 Wed 30-Dec-20 15:47:10

I used to be very outspoken and would respond to ignorant remarks very loudly. I find these days people can be so aggressive and don’t care. I try not to now as I can’t run anymore hip knee and foot arthritis prevent it.

sodapop Wed 30-Dec-20 15:59:15

Not sure my responses are allowed on here grin I often can't help myself and respond without thinking.

AGAA4 Wed 30-Dec-20 16:07:35

Spangler great reply. I must remember that one.

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 30-Dec-20 16:09:25

“ put that mirror down, you’re not that bad”!

SuzannahM Wed 30-Dec-20 16:36:23

Like cornishpatsy I refuse to be bothered at the behaviour of anyone whose opinion I don't respect. People are generally so rude and ill-mannered these days you'd make yourself ill if you got wound up by every ignorant remark.
gets in my head.

"Gosh I bet your Mother is proud of you" is probably as far as it gets in my head.

A friend of mine meets every negative remark from strangers with a huge smile and a wave and a "Hello" How are you?" as she walks by, leaving people wondering if they should know her.

Judy54 Wed 30-Dec-20 17:03:45

Love the singing in your head ss1024. People who are rude like that especially to complete strangers are the ones with the problem. Perhaps they have problems in their life and are lashing out. For me the best way is to ignore what they have said and smile sweetly, I try not to rise to their bait because that is the reaction they are looking for. Some people try to see how far they can go in pushing someone else's buttons and unfortunately it sometimes works as we all have that moment when we let our guard down when we feel hurt.

annsixty Wed 30-Dec-20 17:10:35

“You do know you said that out loud?”

Wheniwasyourage Wed 30-Dec-20 18:37:33

Oh, that's a good one, annsixty. I'll try to use it next time.

Spangler Wed 30-Dec-20 18:41:36

SuzannahM Wed 30-Dec-20 16:36:23

"Gosh I bet your Mother is proud of you" is probably as far as it gets in my head.

When I had a scam call recently, I detected a feint Indian accent.

Where I live, we have the most hard working, dedicated Indian couple, running our Post Office on a franchise basis. They are such a lovely couple, liked by all. Knowing the reputation for hard work that Indian people had I asked: "Does your mother know what her son is doing? Trying to rob old people from their life savings?" He hung up.

grannypiper Wed 30-Dec-20 18:45:07

I always find "put your hand up the next time you want to speak to me " leaves people speechless

Wheniwasyourage Wed 30-Dec-20 18:48:48

grannypiper grin

Jaffacake2 Wed 30-Dec-20 18:50:49

Years ago I had to take a computer to be repaired to a well known computer store. When I picked it up the assistant talked in jargon about what had been wrong with it and why I now had a large repair bill. He then spoke to the man behind me in the queue,
" she doesn't know what I'm talking about ! "
My reply, " I am a trained ITU nurse and could resuscitate you,although I wouldn't at the moment .
So we all have different skills don't we ? "
Man behind laughed and assistant looked embarrassed.
Probably a childish response from me but still makes me chuckle.

Kate1949 Thu 31-Dec-20 10:12:03

A 'friend' sadly lost her husband. They had a good life, mixing with what she considered 'upper class' people. They were her husband's friends really and dropped her when he died.
I felt sorry for her and asked here if she wanted to meet up. On one occasion she said to me 'If P hadn't died, I wouldn't be going out with half the people I do now, no offence'.
I was speechless to be honest.

Blossoming Thu 31-Dec-20 10:19:42

I smile sweetly while saying ‘wa*ker’ in my head.

J52 Thu 31-Dec-20 10:57:12

I do find that the phrase ‘no offence’ is quite offensive. If people do not mean to offend then they should keep quiet or rephrase their comment.

Alexa Thu 31-Dec-20 11:30:37

one warm Spring day I was driving home with driver's side window open. I was wearing a hat that I had bought to look my best for a first meeting with a man who liked me and I liked him and he liked a woman to wear a head dress.

I had to stop adjacent to a traffic island where stood a youth who shouted "What a terrible hat !"
I did not feel any the worse .

Santana Thu 31-Dec-20 11:39:51

I retired recently, and when asked about the main thing I didn't miss from working, the answer was "all the rude and obnoxious people I have come across."
Luckily, there have been some amazing people who have balanced the bad experiences out.
Nowadays, I usually have an expletive in my head, but just let the moment pass. You will never win with these kind of people.