Thoughts when Others Make Negative or Offensive Comments

Spangler

SuzannahM Wed 30-Dec-20 16:36:23

"Gosh I bet your Mother is proud of you" is probably as far as it gets in my head.

When I had a scam call recently, I detected a feint Indian accent.

Where I live, we have the most hard working, dedicated Indian couple, running our Post Office on a franchise basis. They are such a lovely couple, liked by all. Knowing the reputation for hard work that Indian people had I asked: "Does your mother know what her son is doing? Trying to rob old people from their life savings?" He hung up.

Love that one, hope I remember it next time.

I feel sorry for them because they must have had a bad life and/ or are having a bad time at the moment. Sometimes I laugh because I can’t help it, I think people like this are weird. The trouble is, they tend to get madder when you laugh so you might have to run away!?

Jaffacake My reply, " I am a trained ITU nurse and could resuscitate you,although I wouldn't at the moment"

Love it Jaffa

SueDonim

‘Did you mean to be so rude?’ is a handy response.

I love that response, SueDonim. I shall try to remember that one! I usually find that when someone is rude or offensive to me, I just stand there with my mouth open, catching flies and looking like an absolute idiot, unable to think of a suitable response! The last time this happened, I just said “uh?” and the person who insulted me (in the electrical shop where he worked) thought he’d got away with it and never batted an eyelid! I was furious - I wish I could have thought of a good putdown! He wasn’t being particularly helpful anyway, so I was fuming because of that too! Not a happy bunny.

As a 16 year old and 6' tall I found it difficult to handle the offensive comments about my height (6'). Now much older and mentally stronger, I have a number of snappy comebacks.

What's the point of saying to me - You're tall aren't you?'.
Does the same happen to short, fat or thin people?

A hand signal often suffices for a verbal answer.

You will have to speak louder I’m a bit mutton Jeff

I retired recently, and when asked about the main thing I didn't miss from working, the answer was "all the rude and obnoxious people I have come across."
Luckily, there have been some amazing people who have balanced the bad experiences out.
Nowadays, I usually have an expletive in my head, but just let the moment pass. You will never win with these kind of people.

one warm Spring day I was driving home with driver's side window open. I was wearing a hat that I had bought to look my best for a first meeting with a man who liked me and I liked him and he liked a woman to wear a head dress.

I had to stop adjacent to a traffic island where stood a youth who shouted "What a terrible hat !"
I did not feel any the worse .

I do find that the phrase ‘no offence’ is quite offensive. If people do not mean to offend then they should keep quiet or rephrase their comment.

I smile sweetly while saying ‘wa*ker’ in my head.

A 'friend' sadly lost her husband. They had a good life, mixing with what she considered 'upper class' people. They were her husband's friends really and dropped her when he died.
I felt sorry for her and asked here if she wanted to meet up. On one occasion she said to me 'If P hadn't died, I wouldn't be going out with half the people I do now, no offence'.
I was speechless to be honest.

Years ago I had to take a computer to be repaired to a well known computer store. When I picked it up the assistant talked in jargon about what had been wrong with it and why I now had a large repair bill. He then spoke to the man behind me in the queue,
" she doesn't know what I'm talking about ! "
My reply, " I am a trained ITU nurse and could resuscitate you,although I wouldn't at the moment .
So we all have different skills don't we ? "
Man behind laughed and assistant looked embarrassed.
Probably a childish response from me but still makes me chuckle.

grannypiper

I always find "put your hand up the next time you want to speak to me " leaves people speechless

SuzannahM Wed 30-Dec-20 16:36:23

"Gosh I bet your Mother is proud of you" is probably as far as it gets in my head.

When I had a scam call recently, I detected a feint Indian accent.

Where I live, we have the most hard working, dedicated Indian couple, running our Post Office on a franchise basis. They are such a lovely couple, liked by all. Knowing the reputation for hard work that Indian people had I asked: "Does your mother know what her son is doing? Trying to rob old people from their life savings?" He hung up.

Oh, that's a good one, annsixty. I'll try to use it next time.

“You do know you said that out loud?”

Love the singing in your head ss1024. People who are rude like that especially to complete strangers are the ones with the problem. Perhaps they have problems in their life and are lashing out. For me the best way is to ignore what they have said and smile sweetly, I try not to rise to their bait because that is the reaction they are looking for. Some people try to see how far they can go in pushing someone else's buttons and unfortunately it sometimes works as we all have that moment when we let our guard down when we feel hurt.

Like cornishpatsy I refuse to be bothered at the behaviour of anyone whose opinion I don't respect. People are generally so rude and ill-mannered these days you'd make yourself ill if you got wound up by every ignorant remark.
gets in my head.

"Gosh I bet your Mother is proud of you" is probably as far as it gets in my head.

A friend of mine meets every negative remark from strangers with a huge smile and a wave and a "Hello" How are you?" as she walks by, leaving people wondering if they should know her.

“ put that mirror down, you’re not that bad”!

Spangler great reply. I must remember that one.

Not sure my responses are allowed on here I often can't help myself and respond without thinking.

I used to be very outspoken and would respond to ignorant remarks very loudly. I find these days people can be so aggressive and don’t care. I try not to now as I can’t run anymore hip knee and foot arthritis prevent it.

I generally think,what a rude,ignorant Person.And then must remind myself to make sure it doesn’t spoil my day!