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Everyday Ageism

Patronised!

(180 Posts)
Scribbles Thu 20-Jan-22 15:20:38

The culprit intended to be helpful but it has left a sour taste in my mouth.

I am away from home at present and while I was out this morning, I saw a pair of shoes. I wanted in a store display. They didn't have my size but the saleswoman (approximately mid 20s, I'd guess) checked to see if any were available in the central warehouse that could be sent to my local branch of the shop for me to collect.

There were none in stock but more are expected soon. So far so good. This helpful lass then wrote down the product ID number "so that you can ask your local shop staff to check when they come into stock". She then added the store's website details, adding, "That's so, if you know someone with access to the internet, you could ask them to check for you if they're available."

In an instant, all the goodwill generated by her general helpfulness evaporated. I hope I withered her with my glare.
"Why would I do that?" I replied. "I am perfectly capable of doing it myself with my phone or any one of a half dozen other devices that I've been able to operate quite competently since before you were born."

I picked up the paper with the product number on it and walked out. I know it's a first world problem but it rankles - and I don't think I even want the shoes now.

Caleo Mon 30-Jan-23 14:12:30

The shop girl should have been taught to say " the shop is online if you wish to contact it on the internet."

It's not the girl's fault that she did not know how to address a customer. The whole thing is unfortunate, and I'd have been out off buying the shoes.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 30-Jan-23 14:39:26

I have never felt patronised. A kindly meant word goes a long way. I would happily accept the comment in the spirit that it was meant.

AreWeThereYet Mon 30-Jan-23 14:42:50

the form of words is so important.

Yes it is. Unfortunately words mean different things to different people. I have no problem with anyone calling me love, dear, ducks, ma'am, madam or most other things but if anyone calls me 'hun' I want to deck them. But other people think it's a prefectly normal way to address someone. Happily it seems to be dying out a bit.

My view is that I am always grateful to anyone offering to help, whether it's needed or not. I don't think it has ever occurred to me that I'm being patronised by anyone.

Caleo Mon 30-Jan-23 15:13:35

Kind intentions are not enough for good manners. In our society old people are not as respected like younger people are, all else being equal. Nevertheless old people who are spending money in your shop should be met with tact and diplomacy even if they are obviously not computer literate.