Why are all the derogatory comments about old grannies never Grandads?

The tales of cars were/are just poor salesmanship. Some (quite some) years ago I had a salesman directed all his comments to my 17-year-old son when I was buying a car. My son politely pointed out that I was buying the car but he kept drifting back. What would have been the point in being cross or upset. He would go and others, having grown up in a different world, would take his place.

There does seem to be a spate of wimpishness on GN, a lack if backbone. There are words that people need to learn about but that will come over time but really, a fuss over one granny using "grannies" to describe a group on "Gransnet" is petty and childish. The more you make a fuss over comparatively little things, the less people will listen to the really important ones.

I don't now when people started thinking they they could take words away from us, but I do wish the whinging would stop. This has to be one of the worst attempts I have seen on here to undermine others, used by people who see themselves as "better"when they are actually simply the same as the rest of us and have no entitlement to determine these things for others.

FannyCornforth

I haven’t read the whole thread, apologies, but my answer is
Misogyny + Ageism = ‘Granny’

It’s just the usual ‘Karen’ type stuff.
It just proves that there are many people out there who are unable to express themselves fully, and instead rely upon internet memes

Going forward I'll be listening for ageism.. I'm sorry such a problem abounds. It's not 'I'm all right Jack' for me, it's just being happily unaware -- I can better listen up!

The term grandad is often used pejoratively, as in “Alright Grandad!” (calm down etc.) and there is a magazine called “The Oldie” founded by men obviously not afraid of ageism.

I used to get that from a young woman at the garage which serviced my car before we moved to Norfolk. I’m sure it was quite deliberate because the car is a nice Porsche 911. I was working then and it wasn’t ageism. She asked for Mr GSM to pay the bill before the car was returned every time despite my saying it was my car and I would pay. I have never had that treatment from a man. The people at the garage we use now know exactly whose car it is - but they’re all men.

I haven’t read the whole thread, apologies, but my answer is
Misogyny + Ageism = ‘Granny’

It’s just the usual ‘Karen’ type stuff.
It just proves that there are many people out there who are unable to express themselves fully, and instead rely upon internet memes

M0nica

pinkquartz being known as granny in your family has got nothing whatsoever to do with older women being referred to dismissively as 'grans'.

It this those on their lofty perches saying that they just shrug off dismissive comments about 'grans', what is the problem(?)whom I was referring to, not women lovingly called gran or granny within their family circle

This.

And another thing, DP took my car in for a minor repair and service recently ( it’s my car, he uses his van for work) and they agreed to return it afterwards.Everything to do with my car is in my name.It was returned and the guy at the door said ‘ the car’s ready, is hubby in?’ 😡

Norah it does sound cheesy ( mature) 😄 but many of us older ladies aren’t silver haired, so we’ll have to continue to work on another phrase to compare to the one for a distinguished man.

That's awful pinkquartz to be referred to as " the wheelchair" I sympathise.
I also dislike grouping people together as in "the elderly" or "the disabled". We are people first and foremost who may be older or have a disability.

M0nica

pinkquartz being known as granny in your family has got nothing whatsoever to do with older women being referred to dismissively as 'grans'.

It this those on their lofty perches saying that they just shrug off dismissive comments about 'grans', what is the problem(?)whom I was referring to, not women lovingly called gran or granny within their family circle

For me this whole thing is about people who think they can tell others what they can say, how they can say it, giving some ideas about what their problem is with the word/s is but no, (as far as I can see) education, training or qualification that gives them the right to suggest these things or attempt to dictate in such a way.

M0nica

pinkquartz being known as granny in your family has got nothing whatsoever to do with older women being referred to dismissively as 'grans'.

It this those on their lofty perches saying that they just shrug off dismissive comments about 'grans', what is the problem(?)whom I was referring to, not women lovingly called gran or granny within their family circle

Agreed, M0nica.

I don't think it's about denying grandparent status, or that we are not as young as we used to be. It's the grouping together of a large group of people on the basis of one aspect of who they (or some of them) are that is problematic.

Would anyone use 'grannies' to describe senior female politicians, royals, academics, or singers such as Madonna or Cher? Well, some would, as misogny is as commonplace as ageism .

When journalists did this (it still happens, but less often) by writing things like 'Granny rescues man from burning building!' or 'Mrs Dog (63) raised a million pounds for her favourite charity. When asked about the gruelling schedule, the granny said that it was all in a day's work', they were (rightly) taken to task. With younger women it was 'Miss Dog, blonde mother of three (35) explained how she had become the first woman to swim the Atlantic Ocean. . .'

Men don't get this sort of treatment.

pinkquartz being known as granny in your family has got nothing whatsoever to do with older women being referred to dismissively as 'grans'.

It this those on their lofty perches saying that they just shrug off dismissive comments about 'grans', what is the problem(?)whom I was referring to, not women lovingly called gran or granny within their family circle

There is no "I am alright Jack" for me being happy to be known as Granny.
I am a disabled wheelchair use who gets enough crap for that!

I have been called, even at hospital, "the wheelchair " that is really dismissive.
I think we can take back granny as a positive. Own it and refuse to be ashamed.

BBC Politics Live has just had a section on digital inclusion and digital poverty, the subject I was raising on "the other thread" so it seems it is a perfectly reasonable one to discuss.

But what happened when I raised it? Others started a row about whether, on a forum called Gransnet, you can call people "grannies".

What a complete waste of time and energy.

Oreo

Norah

Hetty58

Cambsnan, what's the female equivalent, I wonder, of the 'distinguished' older gentleman? Whatever it is - I'm that.

'Elegant silver haired Lady'

Yes!😄
Or just elegant mature lady? Or does that make her sound too much like a ripe cheese?

Well, mature is not what I wish to be called, yes mature sounds like Fontina cheese. I've had silver hair since my 40s. Doesn't age me, it's quite elegant and pretty. Lovely with my skin and eye colouring.

I ski, 2 new knees to ward off 'elderly who no longer skis'. I still drive East Anglia into London, I'm not too old to drive. I recall nothing that I'm too old for - yet - aside teen clothing.

Should I be offended that some attitudes are ageist in the reverse? Marrying at 16 is apparently too young. Having babies at 17 is apparently too young, and by default grandchildren at 40 - way too young.

No, because we're all different. Each to their own.

I've no idea where insulting granny comments lurk - I've not seen any.

Oreo

The original post was on another thread, and as Doodledog says, it’s not etiquette to quote posts from other threads.
I don’t get into spats about this sort of thing.

But you have, Oreo and I have noticed, you often do.

DaisyAnneReturns

*Oreo*:
Thank you Doodledog for stating the facts of the matter,

But it isn't the "facts" or the truth. To have the truth all you needed to do was copy the original post. I wonder why you are not doing that?

I quoted as much as I could without linking to the post, so it absolutely is the truth. If anyone is interested (doubtful) it would be very easy to find to read the post in context.

Re the 'distinguished gentleman' equivalent, my first thought was that 'extinguished' would be a reasonable description of how I feel just now .

Norah

Hetty58

Cambsnan, what's the female equivalent, I wonder, of the 'distinguished' older gentleman? Whatever it is - I'm that.

'Elegant silver haired Lady'

Yes!😄
Or just elegant mature lady? Or does that make her sound too much like a ripe cheese?

The original post was on another thread, and as Doodledog says, it’s not etiquette to quote posts from other threads.
I don’t get into spats about this sort of thing.

Oreo:
Thank you Doodledog for stating the facts of the matter,

But it isn't the "facts" or the truth. To have the truth all you needed to do was copy the original post. I wonder why you are not doing that?

Hetty58

Cambsnan, what's the female equivalent, I wonder, of the 'distinguished' older gentleman? Whatever it is - I'm that.

'Elegant silver haired Lady'

Cambsnan, what's the female equivalent, I wonder, of the 'distinguished' older gentleman? Whatever it is - I'm that.

That's interesting, nanna.

I think a lot depends on the situation, as with everything. I think that in day to day life (as opposed to in a professional context) middle aged women become invisible. A woman who stands up for herself or expresses a strong opinion is seen as an embarrassment. Online she is likely to be called 'Karen' - a name that is being used as a synonym for an opinionated older woman (although I suspect that is more an American trend than a UK one).

That continues into older age, but then there is often a kindly-but-patronising tone used by young people. I remember telling the junior at my hairdresser that I was going to a gig at a trendy local venue, and she smiled benignly at me and said 'bless'. I burst out laughing, and she was clearly bewildered. I asked if she would have said that to someone younger, and the penny dropped. She looked embarrassed so I changed the subject, and hoped that she'd think twice before saying something like that to another client. It's little things like that, rather than blatant disrespect (the current government excepted, obviously).

I appreciate that Baggs but it was about people standing up to sexual oppression, and those who stood up wree supported by other women, even if they had not been affected by the same issues.

This thread is full of people saying 'I'm alright' and ignoring that for other people it may not be alright.

Baggs

The MeToo movement was and is not about petty name-calling, M0n.

Standing up to real abuse is a quite different matter from dismissing dismissive comments as simply not worth one's attention – even if one does notice them "all the time" all over the place, which I never have.

Baggs MeToo is about actual abuse, real harassment.

Not a grandmother name annoying some people by use.