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Everyday Ageism

Before you die

(50 Posts)
Macadia Mon 02-Dec-24 03:10:54

My late friend, before she passed away from cancer, told me she was not going to die because she had too many things to do and get done still. She didn't get to complete those things. I am wondering. What sort of things would you regret not finishing if you were to suddenly die unexpectedly next week. For me, I would regret not buying each of my children their own home but many don't even have children so also I am eager to hear what your regrets might be if you were to suddenly find yourself without choices and deceased.

Cossy Mon 02-Dec-24 09:32:58

I would have no regrets other than by dying I’d never get to spend time with my fabulous family and amazing friends.

escaped Mon 02-Dec-24 09:41:16

Cossy

I would have no regrets other than by dying I’d never get to spend time with my fabulous family and amazing friends.

Beautifully said.

Grannybags Mon 02-Dec-24 09:41:29

Me too Cossy

keepingquiet Mon 02-Dec-24 09:41:51

This reminds me of when I took my mum to memory clinic. She had aready said she didn't want to know her diagnosis. The Dr asked questions that were obviously assessing her state of mind.
'Do you ever go low?'He said, 'As if, you know, you'd rather not be here.'
She got what he meant after a little thought.
'Oh no' she said sharply,'I have far too much to do,' she was 90 years old.

I miss her so much.

For me I also have far too much to do- the list will never end but I'm happy to go when the angels are sent to fetch me.

MissAdventure Mon 02-Dec-24 09:43:56

I wouldn't even entertain regrets.
Dying is quite enough to contend with, and what's done, is done, or not, as the case may be.

Macadia Tue 03-Dec-24 05:37:36

I am so sad thinking about this.i don't know what I would want to do before I diem though the years are coming up upon me. I think I would just like to let my children know how much I love them. I don't know.

Macadia Tue 03-Dec-24 05:44:07

A lot.of my friends have spent time doing philanthropist activities before they passed on. Very honorable I think.

Macadia Tue 03-Dec-24 05:46:04

I would not like to leave this world without doing something special for a.person not so advantaged

Bellasnana Tue 03-Dec-24 06:54:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bellasnana Tue 03-Dec-24 06:56:45

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Macadia Tue 03-Dec-24 11:14:54

O think.i would lol to visit Bhutan or Iceland sometime in my life,.maybe India.

Macadia Tue 03-Dec-24 11:17:23

Typos! * I think I would like to visit Bhutan or Iceland sometime in my life, maybe India.

henrich45 Mon 27-Jan-25 13:34:19

I'm really sorry for your loss. It's a powerful question to reflect on. Personally, I think I'd regret not spending more time with loved ones, and not pursuing passions that could have helped others. It's important to cherish every moment.

welbeck Mon 27-Jan-25 16:08:18

Macadamia
Maybe you could write letters individually to each of your children with some nice or notable memories and telling them how much you love them.
You could leave these letters among your papers to be discovered as and when they go through them.
Then you can relax.
And maybe make some charitable donations re your other impulses.
Perhaps sponsor a goat for a poor family in Sudan and gift that donation in the name of a young relative.
So they would get the updates and encourage them to be interested in such things too.
This would link your 2 priorities of love for your family and concern for others less fortunate.
All the best.

Nannylovesshopping Mon 27-Jan-25 16:10:51

Absolutely no regrets, had a colourful life, blessed with fabulous family, so far, good health, just like it to go on for as long as possible!

fancythat Mon 27-Jan-25 16:15:00

I try to bear in mind anyone can go at any time.

whywhywhy Mon 27-Jan-25 16:23:16

I have been estranged from my daughter in years. Hopefully that will be over soon. I’d hate to die and never to see her again. šŸ’”

M0nica Mon 27-Jan-25 16:42:08

I would be worrying about DH, who is not in the best of health and is a glass half empty person, also DD, who would end up providing that support.

crazyH Mon 27-Jan-25 16:48:32

whywhywhy - I hope you will see your daughter soon. flowers

crazyH Mon 27-Jan-25 17:05:51

That reminds me - I need to complete my Life Book

madeleine45 Thu 20-Feb-25 14:50:36

I would love to sail out to sea again on my boat, and listen to the waves and the birds and watch the gannets diving into the sea. Then of course to go up to my beloved swaledale, and be thankful to see it again. Dont think I shall manage to get to Peru or Ulan Bator now but it was lovely to think of them.

Jimjam1 Thu 20-Feb-25 19:39:23

Welbeck writing letters to your children is a wonderful idea. Something I had never thought of.

NonGrannyMoll Thu 20-Feb-25 19:57:34

I'm not sure the dead can feel regret, so I guess you mean would I regret anything about my life in my final moments? There are one or two things I wish had happened and one or two I wish hadn't. But that's in the past and I don't have a time machine to go back and change things. In any case, even if those things were put right, there'd have been other things to replace them. Nobody lives an utterly perfect life.

Rula Thu 20-Feb-25 20:06:50

Je ne regrette rien