Elder abuse in Tesco

Bukkie
Not all younger generation have zero respect,my granddaughter has started an apprenticeship with Tesco and she's polite

I once had someone do that and try to push in front of me. As I grimaces he said “So?” I said “So I am so pleased I’m not married to you”. Not sure why! The entire queue shifted from awkward shuffling to full laughter.

That would have initiated a very robust Liverpudlian response from me. I have a vile temper when someone aggresses against me. I enjoy a bit of a slanging match now and then.

Fortunately our local Lidl and Aldi don't seem to have got the speedy check-out message DH always takes his time packing the shopping, I tend to throw it back in the trolley and pack on the shelf at the back of the store.

I have a short wick (not as short as it used to be…) and would have told him off (Liverpudlian here too friendlyginger).
A woman pushed up against me as I was paying at the checkout recently as if to hurry me along. Unfortunately I seemed to miss my footing at that moment and fell sideways, knocking her back😁

There’s often someone having a little chat before me at the checkout. I don’t mind, it might be the only chat someone has that day.

If the awful situation occurs just reply with, if being old annoys you, let's hope you don't live long enough to experience it.

Marjgran you made me laugh out loud so I just had to explain why and it made those near me laugh too

Similar happened to me when I was in my 40s and the man was older than me! I mentioned it to a supervisor on my way out, because I was concerned for the cashier, who went to have a word.

I shop in Tesco often and this has never happened to me, not have I ever witnessed it. In most stores now people have a choice of where you can pay.

So singling out Tesco seems a bit unfair as it has nothing to do with the store but everything to do with this rude young man.

Maybe this person would have been equally as rude if it had been a young mother, or a disabled person in front? I don't know but I wouldn't take it personally.

I would probably have taken even more time and let him rant all he liked, or said something like I didn't realise there was a time limit... I might have also asked how is Grandad is, and pretended I knew him!

Maybe you should be more assertive in future and call it out.
Complaining to the manager wouldn't make much difference after the event.

4allweknow

If the awful situation occurs just reply with, if being old annoys you, let's hope you don't live long enough to experience it.

That's a terrific response - hope I can remember it if I ever need it!

You should have given him a slap for being so rude!

Good for you! 👍

I think many people have Mental Health Issues..and dont have the sturdiness most of us have ... Forgive and move on ..

Mt61

I would like a slow lane just for us older ones that can’t move fast.
I hate it when someone is huffing & puffing behind me.

I get that, but it's getting towards segregation! The problem is that person's attitude and abuse, not the poster's speed.
A shame the check-out person did not call security. They may well have for other types of prejudice / aggression.

I remember, as a child, about 9ish, being told (not asked) by the assistant to let male workers from a local garage go in front of me in our village shop. I remember it now nearly 60 years later because it made me angry even then. The implication was my time was not as importat as theirs (being men and on their lunchbreak.)
My family spent a lot in that shop.

But not every older person is slow. Some of us are fortunateto be able to keep up with thflow. Will we be banished to the slow queue.

Do not get me wrong, I think a slow queue is an excellent idea. It could be used by mothers with babies in push chairs, disabled people of all ages.

If there is a similar incident again, turn round and say, "Young man, if you had my sore back, you would not be moving fast either. How about lending me a hand? And if I were your grandma, although Grandpa is more likely, you would have been taught manners as a child,"

The young man may not appreciate the rebuke, but anyone over 50 in the queue will split their sides with laughter.

Sadly horrible behaviour like this is becoming more commonplace. My 30 year old daughter was on a train returning home from work when the guy sat next to her quite loudly declared on his phone that he was sat next to an ugly fat bird, took a photo of her and sent it to the equally odious person he was speaking to her. My daughter was broken hearted and had tears rolling down her cheeks. What the heck is wrong with people these days? I feel quite out of place in this harsh world these days. My daughter is a beautiful young woman and was brought up to be kind and considerate. It breaks my heart that people can be so cruel and rude.

Nannan2

Mt61-Thats a great suggestion about a 'slower lane' checkout- why cant all supermarkets have them? It doesnt help when Budget shops like Aldi & Lidl boast that they do 'fast checking out' in my opinion.And i thought most of the younger ones flock to use the self- checkouts these days.(Maybe he didnt know how to use those but didnt want to look stupid?)😆😁

I usually us the self service tills but sometimes have trouble getting my Lidl Plus card to work on my phone so I've started using the manned checkouts in Lidl. The problem is I always feel I need to rush to pack my shopping in my bags as the end of the checkout is so small and I don't want to chuck everything back in the trolley then move away to pack. Sadly there's no easy answer. Some people just have no patience! Thankfully I haven't experienced such bad behaviour. If I did I'd go into teacher mode and put them in their place!

If you can come up with a good comeback it helps. I usually think of what I should have said 5 minutes later, but when I was still teacjing one cheeky student said to me "Miss your hair is going really grey!" I responded with "Yes, and when you're my age you'll be bald!" You should have seen his face and heard his protestations!

I am very sorry this happened to you, ArthurMann, and to your daughter, Kaytee1. It says far more about the very rude people than about either of you. What happened to the old adage, if you can't say anything nice, say nothing. Over the years I have often been behind an elderly lady fumbling with her purse. A little patience costs nothing and, in any case, l could very well be that elderly lady in a few years' time.

jobieP

As you are now, I once was
As I am now, so you will be.

"That's deep, Nan" said my Grandson

That’s on a gravestone in our local cemetery, my nanna taught it to me as a child. I’ve always tried to live by it especially now I’m old.

‘Pray stop a while as you pass by
As you are now so once was I
Ss I am now, so will you be
Forever in Eternity’

I have found that there are still helpful people about, but oh I do wish Lidl cashiers would slow down a bit, they always look so harassed.

That is just horrible,so sorry you had to go through this! I would have just went slower! I hope the manager apologised to you...Did the cashier not say anything or was it a self serve checkout.... Not worth losing sleep over but I understand how upsetting it must have been.

I would have said “Would you like to go first? You are obviously much more important than me”

leeds22

Fortunately our local Lidl and Aldi don't seem to have got the speedy check-out message DH always takes his time packing the shopping, I tend to throw it back in the trolley and pack on the shelf at the back of the store.

Which is what you're supposed to do rather than not only packing at the til but having particular bags for particular items. When we lived in Germany these was nowhere to pack by the til, the cashier inputted the price and put the goods into a trolley. Worked very well too.

Suzieque66

I think many people have Mental Health Issues..and dont have the sturdiness most of us have ... Forgive and move on ..

'Mental health issues', the universal cop out, why can't we just accept that some people are simply nasty, no excuses for them.

Im a bit bent now with arthritis but when I was younger I walked very upright and I am 5 ft 8 ins - same height as many men. So will never be a "little old lady". I think that has made people less likely to take me on. My relative says I have a tongue like a lash.

I’m rather outspoken direct speaking but not rude I am polite and was brought up to have manners. I don’t beat about the bush or mince my words which can be very useful in certain circumstances.

If someone has a few items behind me in a queue I suggest they get served before me at the till. I am considerate thinking they could be on their lunch break I’m not I retired.

On many occasions in recent years while shopping. I have had people push their trolley my way to speed me up at the checkouts. I have told these impatient people directly that no matter how hard they try the trolley won’t fit me.

If someone is blatantly rude I would tell them to zip it or something else more choice. Don’t waste time being polite to ignorant people they will never learn common courtesy they don’t have that ability.

Don’t be intimidated by people rude of any age just treat people how they treat you it can be very rewarding.