Elder abuse in Tesco

That is horrible and am glad you had a word with the manager, have suffered the same but when getting on a crowded train with my DH who is disabled and cannot stand or he literally falls over, announced as we got on that if the person in the priority seat is not disabled my husband urgently needed a seat, as it turned out someone in another seat let him sit down but not before I heard someone say ‘bloody old gits’ I didn’t know who said it but nobody put him right. Before his stroke my DH would offer his seat to anyone who looked as if they were struggling.
Is very upsetting.

You can't be responsible for others' bad behaviour.
You need to have more confidence in your own self.

Something that might help is having a few affirmations ready to say to yourself, almost like a shield against those unkind attitudes. Here are some gentle ones you could keep in mind:

I have lived a full life and carry wisdom with me.
I deserve respect and kindness wherever I go.
I will not be defined by anyone’s prejudice.
I walk with dignity, always.

You could repeat them quietly to yourself before heading out, or even as you go about your shopping. They’re simple, but sometimes reminding ourselves of our own worth makes all the difference.

You deserve to be treated with courtesy.

He now wears a lanyard to show he is disabled but one look at him would convince anyone. But if people need proof.

A younger woman passed a rather nasty comment to a colleague in work recently.

My colleague responded "Did you actually mean to say that out loud?"

I am very sorry that this has happened to you, Mr Mann.
Don't let the rudeness and aggressiveness of some pathetic, ignorant yob get you down.
His behaviour says far more about him than it does about you.
Everyone deserves to be treated respectfully as a human being.
People can be a bit slower for all sorts of reasons, not necessarily due to their age.

I tend to turn round; look at them directly and raise my eye brows. Then carry on with what I'm doing. If it carries on I sould ask the person on the checkout to call the manager

I hope the manager had a word with him!!

That is horrible for you. Instead of dwelling on it try to feel sorry for the person showing himself up with such ignorance in public. And remember all the other interactions - a chat or a smile with a neighbour, or someone helping you with something- which far outweigh the nastiness of this person.

Sorry this happened to you. It upsets me how little respect youngsters have today.

And as upsetting as it, rise above it. You are better than this ignorant yob.

It’s surprising that others in the queue didn’t remonstrate with the young man. Sounds as though you did very well.

My response wld be that at his age I would have been a whizz kid at the checkout, and when he reaches your age he might be even slower. No time to say all this on the spot of course but it’s a way of looking at things.

I can not imagine that happening at my Tescos and if it did other customers especially the men would step in and politely suggest he uses the self check out.

That's horrible for you. I've been lucky,my Husband is in a wheelchair,and I have to say I'm not the best at pushing him, especially as he wriggles and leans to one side. I have met with nothing but kindness so far,people stopping to ask if we are ok,offering help to push up a slope or something like that. There are still decent people to be found don't let one ignorant idiot get you down,although it is upsetting x

That is truly awful. It would have cut me to the quick and I probably wouldn’t return to that shop. It wasn’t just what this person said, but the fear that others heard him and might have agreed. Public shaming is humiliating. No one deserves to be subject to abuse, no matter the circumstances.

Next time someone does this to me I am going to put my finger to my lips and go 'Shhhhh'!

Flippinheck

That is truly awful. It would have cut me to the quick and I probably wouldn’t return to that shop. It wasn’t just what this person said, but the fear that others heard him and might have agreed. Public shaming is humiliating. No one deserves to be subject to abuse, no matter the circumstances.

People may be thinking this whether anyone says it or not. We are all capable of thinking unkindly about people when in a hurry. If fear of peoples thoughts bothers us, we would never leave the house.

i would just have turned round and said 'Just wait until you are my age. I hope people treat you like you are treating me.'

What stops this sort of behaviour is the victims standing up for themselves and not curling up like hedgehogs and then scurrying away.

What stops this sort of behaviour is the victims standing up for themselves and not curling up like hedgehogs and then scurrying away.

Exactly!

I would like a slow lane just for us older ones that can’t move fast.
I hate it when someone is huffing & puffing behind me.

So sorry to read this, ArthurMann. I work part time at Tesco and would never tolerate a customer behaving like this. Fortunately it very rarely happens in our store, although on the one occasion someone started harassing an elderly customer on my checkout I told him to go to self service, as I was not going to serve him. I'm afraid the rest of the queue just stood there like sheep - perhaps afraid that the oik would get violent and hold things up even more. (he demanded the manager, luckily it was one with a bit of backbone and he was told to leave). It still left the poor woman shaking like a leaf. Last night, around 9.30pm, I had an 'elderly' (quite likely younger than myself!) customer who was very slow - as the transaction continued it became obvious he was having problems with processing the situation, and I ended up sorting out his clubcard and vouchers on his phone for him. All took some time and there was a guy in a business suit behind him who started on the huffing/puffing. I gave him a glare (apparently I give good Glare, even when I don't mean to) and then looked pointedly at his five items, and he shut up. Unfortunately it seems it's only us old bats who have the confidence to call customers into line, the younger ones just don't dare.

If ever I hear huffing and puffing behind me in the supermarket queue, I go into full old lady mode and go even slower, as well as engaging the checkout operator in conversation as I take my time to pack and faff around, thus enraging the perpetrator even further. All the while taking care, of course, to seem that I am unaware of the huffer and puffer. Must admit it gives me an inward giggle of satisfaction to behave this way.

As you are now, I once was
As I am now, so you will be.

"That's deep, Nan" said my Grandson

Mt61-Thats a great suggestion about a 'slower lane' checkout- why cant all supermarkets have them? It doesnt help when Budget shops like Aldi & Lidl boast that they do 'fast checking out' in my opinion.And i thought most of the younger ones flock to use the self- checkouts these days.(Maybe he didnt know how to use those but didnt want to look stupid?)😆😁

Oh, me too, skate

That's awful.

It's also against the law.