Eureka! I have discovered the cloak of invisibility!

Very kind of you to say so.

Babs03

May just be me but often feel I wear a cloak of invisibility on Gransnet.
Must just be a very boring contributor 🤨

You certainly aren't boring. I think a lot of people feel the same. I do read the threads I'm interested in and may not respond to all but doesn't mean I don't find the posts are valid and interesting.

May just be me but often feel I wear a cloak of invisibility on Gransnet.
Must just be a very boring contributor 🤨

Astitchintime

Some years ago,I went to a local car dealership as I was intending to replace my car with a new one and paying in full and no finance. Some spiv wearing a cheap suit and having a bad attitude offered me a pittance for my 3 yr old car but only if I bought one of three specific models in the showroom. I asked for a test drive in one……..his response……” only if you sign a finance agreement now “! I refused and said no to the finance, I didn’t want it or need it and he told me to go home and talk to my husband!
I never did go back and at the time I didn’t have a husband anyway although I did complaint to the dealership head office and was offered a voucher by recompense………… £20 worth of fuel if I bought one of their cars! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

If a showroom has an "arrangement" with a finance firm they really prefer you to use the finance as they not only get the profit on the car, they can also get a cut from the Finance Company. The same thing happens with Estate Agents. They will sometimes ignore a higher, no mortgage, offer in favour of a lower offer with one of "their" mortgages as they will make more money from the sale. It is against the Estate Agents Code of practice, but profit is profit...

Nik1ta

That behaviour would not go down well with the manufacturers as their adverts for new cars are now targeted at women, who they believe are most important in choosing a car.

Yes, but they believe that mainly in the context of "Oh, let's buy that one Henry, it's so pretty - and there is even room for the kids and my mother". (Henry, of course, is mainly looking at it's "Macho Man" rating but doesn't want to be banished to sleeping on the sofa indefinitely, so agrees).

How wierd to say "No finance means no test drive". I did try learning to drive recently (unsuccessfully in the event - darn it) but there was no problem with getting offered a test drive (though I had one of the staff in the other front seat just in case!). Yep...I did have a licence - as I had learnt before decades ago - and then never done so/forgotten everything.

They knew I wasnt saying anything about finance - and I just paid the lot as a card payment when I did decide to buy the car.

Though there was absolutely no chance of treating me as a "woman" and not a "person" - no husband/no wedding ring/etc and probably a more independent attitude than they were used to. Think they'd got a little clue on the independent attitude when I handed them one of the "business cards" I've had printed for my contact details since moving to Wales (so I don't have to spell half the address out) and I've got my title on it (ie "Ms" - not Miss or Mrs). When they see that title that seems to tell them straight off "This is an independent person. Treat worse as a woman at your peril....."

Some years ago,I went to a local car dealership as I was intending to replace my car with a new one and paying in full and no finance. Some spiv wearing a cheap suit and having a bad attitude offered me a pittance for my 3 yr old car but only if I bought one of three specific models in the showroom. I asked for a test drive in one……..his response……” only if you sign a finance agreement now “! I refused and said no to the finance, I didn’t want it or need it and he told me to go home and talk to my husband!
I never did go back and at the time I didn’t have a husband anyway although I did complaint to the dealership head office and was offered a voucher by recompense………… £20 worth of fuel if I bought one of their cars! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

keepingquiet

I once went on a rant to a young man behind a bar. I wasn't even that old- probably in my early fifties. The place wasn't busy but he never even noticed me. I gave him such a telling off I hope he never forgot it!!

It was probably down to being past "sex bomb" age (that's my polite way to put it for the purposes of the forum LOL).

It varies from person to person and I notice that the pressure is on to "be attractive" up to about 60 these days (ie the goalposts have moved) but I think I must have been in my 40's when I realised a man I was on a blind date with obviously thought he was "out of my league" and I was sitting there thinking "You're right that one of us is on an outa the league date - but it's you matey" - with his ordinary job, beer belly stomach and receding hair and had clearly never had any looks even when younger.

That was the point at which I realised I was going to start getting attempts to treat me worse than I'd been used to and that might apply generally with men (and not just the ones I viewed as potential dates). Yep......lots of us become "invisible" when we get older....and we're no longer regarded as "potential dates - or otherwise".

I started to realise at that point that, as I couldnt put the clock back, I was going to have to be "stronger" in order to get my "place in the queue" etc - rather than shoved backwards or totally overlooked.

That behaviour would not go down well with the manufacturers as their adverts for new cars are now targeted at women, who they believe are most important in choosing a car.

Leanetta I've often thought I'd like to drive a lorry/ truck/ waggon.

It feels like real freedom when you're up there in the cab. I'm sure it isn't (and the mid winter journeys I made all those years ago would proove it) - but still the wanderer in my soul loves the fantasy!
🚛 🚚

Interesting observations Weirdo60.
Thankfully as a 5'4" female I have never experienced such rude treatment by a male or a female assistant.

Magenta8 I know exactly what you're saying! I'm 6'2 and 11 stone, how can they NOT see me?!

I was with a male work colleague on a break, and we'd gone to a convenience store for a few nibbles and drinks.

I paid for us both in cash; it was me who handed the money to the male cashier, but it was the male cashier who tried to hand MY change to my work colleague!

I snatched it from the cashier's hand and snapped ''I paid, not my colleague, with MY cash, so the change is MINE!''

I've also noticed that when I'm alone shopping, in any shop, as I am 99% of the time, the male cashier will basically throw my change at me, half of which crashes onto the counter and/or floor, and walk off or turn his back to gormlessly fiddle with something on the booze/fags shelves. So I snap ''EXCUSE ME! Pick my money up and hand it to me PROPERLY or I'll be speaking to your manager about having you sacked''

It absolutely infuriates me! In the so-called age of women's rights, we're still treated like filth when we don't have a man to be subservient to!

I once went on a rant to a young man behind a bar. I wasn't even that old- probably in my early fifties. The place wasn't busy but he never even noticed me. I gave him such a telling off I hope he never forgot it!!

Astonishingly, as a lorry driver, I’m just as likely to get asked for help by another driver as a man standing next to me.

You'd think hairy arsed truckers would never contemplate asking a mere woman for assistance. But I have to say, I'm treated like a driver - sex irrelevant. The only exception is some of the younger drivers who always seem to just assume that I must have passed my test recently (maybe they've seen me reverse). But the older and more experienced drivers probably recognise the road weary, battered appearance of my face and realise I've served my time! 🙄

It's awful in town in the summer. Tourists apparently think that everyone is on holiday too and that roads are pavements too and walk about completely oblivious to cars and other pedestrians.
Often they'll walk along four abreast and expect others to jump aside. Well not me. I'm so fed up with it that I just keep walking forward and expect them to move aside and will just stand in front of them if necessary until they notice me and have to move. I don't think I'm invisible, they're just totally wrapped up in themselves and impervious to others.

Greenfinch

I was in a queue at the petrol pumps. When the car in front drove away from the pump I started to move forward but a white van overtook me and cut across me to get to the pump before I did. It was as if I was invisible.

I guess the appropriate action then would have been hand firmly down on the horn and hope some member of staff or someone would come out to see what all the fuss was about and then tell Mr White Van Man to stop queue-jumping.

I've come to be very wary of Mr White Van Men since moving here - never ever had a run-in with one of them in the 40 years in my home city - but in the 12 years since moving here I can see for a fact they're a lot worse here - as 3 (yep...three!!!!!) of them have nearly injured or killed me - despite the fact it was obvious the pedestrian came first. Yep...I know my Highway Code etc - even though I didnt manage to learn to drive and it was pedestrian me that came first. There's been comments from me that "I did not change from being a 'person', into being a 'woman' (ie apparent lesser being) just because I moved. I am still a person". If there's another one then I will lose it bigtime and they will get a full throttle reminder I'm a person and it's the 21st century....

I was in a queue at the petrol pumps. When the car in front drove away from the pump I started to move forward but a white van overtook me and cut across me to get to the pump before I did. It was as if I was invisible.

gran5up

I frequently mutter," I'm a miracle of modern science, 5 foot 5 and far-too-many stone but despite that and my looming presence with the Chariot(walking aid/shopping trolley) people will walk "at" me. I now spend more time hugging the wall awaiting a clear path than actually making my way to my destination

This I can relate to, but no more dodging since myDH had a stroke and I have to hold his arm as he walks, his other hand holding a stick. Yet still people will walk towards us as if attempting to defy the laws of physics and walk right through us. Not all are on their phone. But I don’t budge and neither does my DH, so they have to smartly side step onto a grass verge etc., at the last minute or bang right into us. So far nobody has banged into us.

gran5up

CariadAgain, I shall take your advice with new found confidence
Welsh friend says I may thank you,"diolch fy ffrind" hope I got that right?
From tomorrow no more hugging walls!

Do report back. Errm...I'm English, despite the name - but I understood "diolch".....

A lot boils down to confidence - or apparent confidence more to the point. Head up....literally.

I went to buy a car. One my husband andI had agreed on. In the salesroom, the very tall salesman( I am 5'1 ) proceeded to describe the car then began writing a long list which he then gave me with the recommendation that I took it to my husband to explain it to me. I considered myself a well educated successful business woman I don't take that from a mere secondhand car salesman
I went to another dealership and bought the car I wanted in only 15 minutes

Like one of the earlier responders I had to consider whether it was sexism or ageism. I think it was a bit of both. That is to say, I am sure that if my elder daughter (a very attractive lady who looks a lot younger than her age) had been standing alone in the queue, she would definitely NOT have been overlooked! However, if she had been in the queue with her husband tagging along, it would have been her husband who was acknowleged.

So, judging from your responses, it seems I can't patent the Invisibility Cloak as my invention then?

On a more general issue that has come up in the replies concerning the assumption that women can't understand computers or cars...

On one occasion, afore mentioned daughter was thinking of buying her first, second hand, privately advertised car. It was a classic car, a Renault 5 "Enid Blyton Special Edition" of some age. It was being sold by a man on behalf of his elderly father, who had agreed that his eyesight was no longer adequate for driving. He understood that it was my daughter who was interested in the car and was giving her the guff about "hardly a scratch on it", "spent its life in a garage" etc. but was definitely bemused when I disappeared under it and started to poke around then, satisfied with what I had seen asked him to up the bonnet and start the engine so I could hear how it ran. Then I checked for oil leaks, body rust, uneven tyre wear etc., looked at the oil on the dipper and so on. My verdict (after I had reminded her to have a short test drive) was "If she doesn't want it, I'll have it!" It served her well for several years, until she fell for the Government guff about "clean" Diesel.

My Dad used to take his car to a garage run by a guy called Wally. And he was a proper Wally. Dad would pay a small fortune (but a little less than another garage charged) for a service including new spark plugs. I persuaded him to let me check the plugs after one service. Not only were they not new, Wally hadn't even cleaned up and gapped them properly, so I did it. Dad wouldn't let me do anything else. Next time the car went in for a service (with Wally, of course) it had a speck of red paint on each plug and Dad was instructed to ask for the old plugs back after they were "changed". Wally's reaction finally persuaded Dad to take the car elsewhere.

My boss in my old job, a guy about my age, was struggling to use his office PC to draw some complicated graphs. I volunteered. After a lot of frustration he left me to it, saying that if I "messed up his computer" I would be out of a job and went off muttering about women thinking they knew everything. Half an hour later he came back and found me back at my desk. It took him a while to get over the (to him, humiliating) fact that his graphs were all done and his PC still worked. I had done a computer course, he hadn't, and being a man he didn't know what a manual was.

I’m ignored and overlooked in hotels all around europe plus with the added language barriers.
I have had to learn to puff myself up like a tank, place my feet 1 metre apart, and when it’s my turn I raise my hand and say “thank you” with a nod, and then place my order.

More recently I was upset at home at a close relatives wedding and completely ignored at the bar whilst everyone who walked through the door behind me got served. (and as a widow it’s especially hard). It took a very long time for the manager to realise.

I have seen someone in a similar situation get out their iphone and put it on the counter with the timer app running….and I might try this next time…

Aveline your comment made me cheer!

CariadAgain, I shall take your advice with new found confidence
Welsh friend says I may thank you,"diolch fy ffrind" hope I got that right?
From tomorrow no more hugging walls!

Similar happened to me in Halfords.
Went to collect a scooter ordered by DD for her son's birthday.
I stood for ages while the 2 young,male assistants dealt with young, male customers on either side of me.
When I asked why I was being ignored I eventually got served but the young man was very off hand and rude.
Obviously older ladies are not welcome in Halfords!