Eureka! I have discovered the cloak of invisibility!

The same thing happened to me in a car sales room.
Apparently women don't buy cars and never go into these places without a male companion! I was invisible and the salesman was greeting the men who came in after me, asking how he could help but ignoring me. I did ask him if I was invisible - obviously I was because he looked quite startled.

He then said he assumed I was with one of the gentlemen - why?
I did buy a car there but not from the salesman who dismissed me twice.

It went back the other week for its service and the same salesman rushed to make me a coffee. He didn't remember me, I don't think, but he obviously learned a lesson the year before.

Likewise at the Globe, I was waiting to be served at the bar when a man (of course!) behind me reached over me and picked up his drinks which he had ordered over my head.
I may only be 5’2” but I was close to jumping up and down and shouting “Me, me, me first”

Similar thing in PC World, the man immediately started speaking to my husband who, instead of redirecting him to me who knew what she was talking about, told him what we wanted but was unable to carry the conversation forward as he had no real idea. The man however carried on trying so I went for a walk round. Eventually I bought what we needed and went back to OH and said are you ready to go, the man looked so relieved.
PS, why did 'my husband ' auto correct to 'nightstand '?

Aely I love it. So many times I’ve felt invisible. Now I know what to do thanks to you.

Something similar happened to me in a computer shop some years ago. As everyone knows women know nothing about computers! (I have 2 postgrad degrees in computer based subjects).

I was with a relative and a man who entered after us managed to grab the assistant first, even though it was obvious we were there first. They were discussing his possible purchase of a printer. Nevertheless we waited patiently for their conversation to finish, and the assistant was free. He was in process of dealing with me when customer re-entered the shop and immediately began to speak to the assitant as though I was invisible. He evidently thought it was accetable to leave and then return as if nothing had happened in the meantime.

I immediately used my rather terse "teacher" voice to direct the queue jumper to the fact that the assistant was dealing with me, so he would have to wait his turn. "But I was here a few minutes ago ...." "And I was here before you and you queue jumped ahead of me then. You lost your place in the queue when you left and your not doing it again." I took a big roll of notes out of my pocket, and asked the assistant did he want a cash sale as we were happy to go elsewhere.

The assistant apologised to the queue jumper but continued to serve me. My relative often reminds me of the expression on the queue jumpers face.

Ive put pushy males in their place on numerous occasions and always enjoyed the power rush. However I am tall and imposing for a woman and that does help.

I have a similar experience to friendlygingercat. Though this was a queue in A&E to see the receptionist after booking in for my DH. Was called and just about to move towards the only receptionist on that day when a man seated by the desk suddenly jumped up and went to the receptionist practically knocking me over and started asking her about his wife who had gone for an x ray, how long would she be? Where was the X-ray dept etc., and when the receptionist answered him which I was cross about because they are usually trained to cut people off mid sentence, the man started joking/flirting with her. Finally, when he had finished I moved forwards again but suddenly he jumped up again and was making a bee line for the receptionist, however, this time I strode in front of him and said loudly to the receptionist “maybe you should have another member of staff available for chit chat with queue jumpers”
And a couple of people waiting behind me issued words of support.
A&E really isn’t the place to do this, there can be blood on the floor and it isn’t from an accident if a person tries to gain an advantage.

The only time that happened to me was when I was considerably younger and looking to buy a car. The salesman only spoke to my husband and incensed me so much with his attitude that I've never been back to that particular garage. I haven't experienced it since or elsewhere

Yes. I've walked out of car showrooms before now when I'd gone in to buy a car for myself.
It's not just us older women though. DD is a glamorous blonde and had gone in to a showroom to buy herself a posh car (well it is to me!). The salesman spoke only to her DH. Unbeknown to the salesman, you don't mess with DD. He wasn't to know that she'd contact the owner of the whole dealership about 'Sid the sexist'. She got a huge discount and apology and the staff got extra training on valuing female customers.

I was on one of my rare visits to the GP surgery where there is a screen to allow patients to book in without the help of the receptionist. I am sure most of you will be familiar with these screens which are very simple to use. A man behind me in the queue immediately stepped forward, forcing me out of the way, and said ‘let me help you, love.’ I was incensed. Being called ‘love’ irritates me, but the assumption that I was mentally incompetent really annoyed me. I managed to say ‘no thanks’ and he stepped back. But why did all the clever responses only come when it was too late?

Years ago, I had a similar experience in a car showroom. Went in to enquire about buying a new model which had just been released. Eventually a very patronising salesman wandered over and asked which model I was interested in. When I pointed to the one in question, he looked down his nose at me and said "That's a very powerful car, madam. Are you sure you'd be able to handle it?" Little did he know I was a motoring writer at the time and used to test cars. After putting him well and truly in his place, I asked to see the manager and told him how his salesman had just lost them a sale as I was about to drive to one of their main competitors and buy it there!

I have had two experiences.
A young shop assistant ignored me. I think she looked right through me.
I got fed up of waiting in line, when I should have already been served.
I was about to literally jump up and down to make sure she saw me the second time, when she did.
I wasnt going to let her ignore me again.

2nd one. In my volunteer job, I was the main lead on a refurbishment. There was a man with me.
It soon became obvious that the electrician didnt like dealing with women.
I thought, well I have all day. Eventually he is going to have to ask me where the new sockets need to go, as my colleague didnt properly know.
I waited until the electrician had no option but to deal with me.

🤣🤣🤣
I’ve been invisible for a very long time - I was a SAH mum, which didn’t qualify me for intelligence or conversation!

When DH and I went to buy a car for me, the salesman only spoke him. Eventually, I piped up and said that I knew the working of an internal combustion engine, the firing order of spark plugs, etc., things that I suspected neither he nor DH understood…. He had the grace to blush.

The last time my late husband bought a new car I tagged along as we planned to visit family afterwards.
The first 10 minutes of our meeting the salesman directed all his questions and comments to me whilst my husband sat there smiling sweetly. I think he found it quite funny.
In the end he interrupted the conversation and pointed out that he was the purchaser.
An example of taking your ant discrimination training a bit to far I think.

A few years ago, my daughter and her husband hired some vacant space in a factory in Sheffield where they planned to make some metal items for sale.
She had previous training in metalworking and plumbing.
The factory foreman very kindly offered to do some welding for them. Needless to say all discussion was aimed at her husband.
When her husband pointed out that he needed to discuss matters with "the wife" there was a sharp intake of breath then, in a broad Yorkshire accent, he said, " but, she's a lass!"
I did wonder if the foreman realised that during WW2, many Sheffield lasses worked in the steelworks. Probably not.

I have been invisible for years.

Nearly every time I go into town people walk into me when I am coming out of shops and push in front of me in queues.

Often people say "I didn't see you there."

It’s not just men!
Some time ago now, we had a female double glazing salesperson round - I’ll call her A. She directed all her remarks directly at dh - I might have been elsewhere - with a lot of batting of eyelashes.

We’d also had a male salesperson round (B) who gave an almost identical quote and addressed us both equally.

When the time came to choose, dh said, ‘I think we’ll go with A, shall we?’
I said, ‘Because she ignored me and batted her eyelashes at you? No thanks, we’ll go with B.’
We did.

Nobody from the company ever asked why we hadn’t taken up their offer, but if they had, I’d have told them.

Another company (different product) did once ask why we hadn’t taken up a quote, so I told them - one of those over- pushy salesmen who tell you ‘Just for today, if you sign now, it’s 50% off!’ - and evidently think you’re stupid enough to swallow it.

On a similar note, we once used an estate agent (female) who every time she phoned, said, ‘Can I speak to your husband?’
Ultimately she didn’t get the sale, either.

My experience was some years ago when buying a camera. I had done my research and knew exactly which one I wanted. Needless to say that, having discussed its merits with the salesman, he then proceeded to try and veer me towards the ‘pretty coloured’ pink or lilac coloured cameras! I just gave him the death stare and he backtracked, mumbling something about knowing my own mind!

ViceVersa

Years ago, I had a similar experience in a car showroom. Went in to enquire about buying a new model which had just been released. Eventually a very patronising salesman wandered over and asked which model I was interested in. When I pointed to the one in question, he looked down his nose at me and said "That's a very powerful car, madam. Are you sure you'd be able to handle it?" Little did he know I was a motoring writer at the time and used to test cars. After putting him well and truly in his place, I asked to see the manager and told him how his salesman had just lost them a sale as I was about to drive to one of their main competitors and buy it there!

I was about to drive to one of their main competitors and buy it there!

Yes, I said I'd do that and turned to go, although I had seen the car I wanted on the forecourt so I'd be cutting off my nose to spite my face!
As I started to go towards the door, a charming younger salesman said he couldn't apologise enough, this is not who we are, asked if he could help and offered coffees etc. He got the commission.

Selling our house a few years ago the estate agnt dealing with us ( a woman ) refused to discuss anything if I answered the phone . She would only speak to my husband . How I wish I had rebelled .

If we were really invisible that could be useful, but what older people, especially women, are is overlooked on purpose.

I was at an airport in the Far East and obviously not invisible as I waited to be served because I was elbowed out of the way by an older man.
The younger man on the desk said politely "I believe this lady is before you in the queue, sir". 🙂

When Mr J was rushed into the resuscitation unit at A and E with a suspected heart attack, the receptionist asked me to come back in half an hour to see how he was. I duly returned and waited in the queue, she called "next" (no please) and I moved forward and she said " I am not talking to you I am talking to the gentleman behind you". He was not much better asking me why I was there because there did not look anything wrong with me. How callous and unkind they both were when I had no idea what was happening to my Husband.

Magenta8

I have been invisible for years.

Nearly every time I go into town people walk into me when I am coming out of shops and push in front of me in queues.

Often people say "I didn't see you there."

Think I'd be tempted to say "I can recommend a good optician - try Mr X" and name the worst optician in town.....

Floradora9

Selling our house a few years ago the estate agnt dealing with us ( a woman ) refused to discuss anything if I answered the phone . She would only speak to my husband . How I wish I had rebelled .

Gobsmacked at her taking the risk of losing your business like that. I'm single - and so they have no option but to deal with me.

But in those circumstances I'd walk into the estate agent, ask to speak to the manager (if need be sitting there until they came out) and then said "Is that woman going to be told how to do her job properly - ie treat me as a person - or am I swopping estate agents?" I'd mean it too - she'd get one more chance to do her job properly and, if she still didnt I'd sack the estate agents and find another one.

Sounds like it's not so much ageism - as sexism - that people are experiencing.

I guess they literally can't pull that one on me so much - as I'm obviously single. But I did have quite a spell of having to say to deliverers and workmen (yep they were always men) "I'm afraid there's no 1950s housewife living in my home with me (ie to answer the door to deliverers or be there just in case for the workmen). There's only me - and I'm a PERSON". They'd give me a funny look - but I'd been used to being treated as a "person" for about 30 years in my home city before I moved here - and so I got good at giving them firm "looks" and equally firm tone of voice and obvious expectations they would also treat me as a "person" (sex irrelevant).

A bit of telling them my title too came in handy sometimes - ie not a "title" title - but "You've got that wrong - I'm not a "Miss" or a "Mrs". I'm a "Ms"". They just about get the message that I'm a person called Ms Cariad and always would be - whether married or no (as my name would have remained "Ms My own surname").