Eureka! I have discovered the cloak of invisibility!

Reminds me of when I was iny 20s and came into enough money to buy my dream car for cash, a 2CV. I went into a dealer and asked to test drive one but he sneered and said no, I couldn't afford it! I'm so glad as I got a wonderful little mini with a sunshine roof instead.

cookiemonster66

I have been invisible for years, no-one responds to my texts/emails or phone calls. No-one listens to what I have to say. The only time I magically reappear is when they want me to do something

I think I would be unavailable to people who treated me like that. They are taking you for granted.

I was in a very long queue at M n S. A very elderly lady walked past all the people in the queue and was served immediately at a vacant till. Maybe she was fed up being invisible.

I have been invisible for years, no-one responds to my texts/emails or phone calls. No-one listens to what I have to say. The only time I magically reappear is when they want me to do something

gran5up

I frequently mutter," I'm a miracle of modern science, 5 foot 5 and far-too-many stone but despite that and my looming presence with the Chariot(walking aid/shopping trolley) people will walk "at" me. I now spend more time hugging the wall awaiting a clear path than actually making my way to my destination

Head up...look them in the eye and walk forward on whichever part of the pavement is the appropriate one for you (ie that would usually be the inside - because of being a woman and/or being older than them). Looking confident seems to be the main thing.

I've also been known to cough loudly if someone's head is in their phone as they're walking towards me - and their head comes up with an "Oh - there's a person there....#surprised" look on their face. If all else fails just stand there - firmly in your path on whatever side of the pavement is obviously yours.

I wouldnt be "hugging the wall" - I'd be standing there firmly in "my" section of the path obviously "waiting".

I frequently mutter," I'm a miracle of modern science, 5 foot 5 and far-too-many stone but despite that and my looming presence with the Chariot(walking aid/shopping trolley) people will walk "at" me. I now spend more time hugging the wall awaiting a clear path than actually making my way to my destination

Went with hubby to look at a self charging hybrid car. Salesman started talking to hubby, who had no idea. I answered a couple of salesman's questions and asked several questions about the vehicle. He soon realised that I was the one who had done the research and addressed me, mainly, from then on.

I stood in the empty pharmacy for five minutes, three assistants girls were chattingand using their phones behind the counter. In the end I asked if i could be served, one said "I'm busy on my phone, wont be a minute"!!!!!!

Sounds like it's not so much ageism - as sexism - that people are experiencing.

I guess they literally can't pull that one on me so much - as I'm obviously single. But I did have quite a spell of having to say to deliverers and workmen (yep they were always men) "I'm afraid there's no 1950s housewife living in my home with me (ie to answer the door to deliverers or be there just in case for the workmen). There's only me - and I'm a PERSON". They'd give me a funny look - but I'd been used to being treated as a "person" for about 30 years in my home city before I moved here - and so I got good at giving them firm "looks" and equally firm tone of voice and obvious expectations they would also treat me as a "person" (sex irrelevant).

A bit of telling them my title too came in handy sometimes - ie not a "title" title - but "You've got that wrong - I'm not a "Miss" or a "Mrs". I'm a "Ms"". They just about get the message that I'm a person called Ms Cariad and always would be - whether married or no (as my name would have remained "Ms My own surname").

Floradora9

Selling our house a few years ago the estate agnt dealing with us ( a woman ) refused to discuss anything if I answered the phone . She would only speak to my husband . How I wish I had rebelled .

Gobsmacked at her taking the risk of losing your business like that. I'm single - and so they have no option but to deal with me.

But in those circumstances I'd walk into the estate agent, ask to speak to the manager (if need be sitting there until they came out) and then said "Is that woman going to be told how to do her job properly - ie treat me as a person - or am I swopping estate agents?" I'd mean it too - she'd get one more chance to do her job properly and, if she still didnt I'd sack the estate agents and find another one.

Magenta8

I have been invisible for years.

Nearly every time I go into town people walk into me when I am coming out of shops and push in front of me in queues.

Often people say "I didn't see you there."

Think I'd be tempted to say "I can recommend a good optician - try Mr X" and name the worst optician in town.....

When Mr J was rushed into the resuscitation unit at A and E with a suspected heart attack, the receptionist asked me to come back in half an hour to see how he was. I duly returned and waited in the queue, she called "next" (no please) and I moved forward and she said " I am not talking to you I am talking to the gentleman behind you". He was not much better asking me why I was there because there did not look anything wrong with me. How callous and unkind they both were when I had no idea what was happening to my Husband.

I was at an airport in the Far East and obviously not invisible as I waited to be served because I was elbowed out of the way by an older man.
The younger man on the desk said politely "I believe this lady is before you in the queue, sir". 🙂

If we were really invisible that could be useful, but what older people, especially women, are is overlooked on purpose.

Selling our house a few years ago the estate agnt dealing with us ( a woman ) refused to discuss anything if I answered the phone . She would only speak to my husband . How I wish I had rebelled .

ViceVersa

Years ago, I had a similar experience in a car showroom. Went in to enquire about buying a new model which had just been released. Eventually a very patronising salesman wandered over and asked which model I was interested in. When I pointed to the one in question, he looked down his nose at me and said "That's a very powerful car, madam. Are you sure you'd be able to handle it?" Little did he know I was a motoring writer at the time and used to test cars. After putting him well and truly in his place, I asked to see the manager and told him how his salesman had just lost them a sale as I was about to drive to one of their main competitors and buy it there!

I was about to drive to one of their main competitors and buy it there!

Yes, I said I'd do that and turned to go, although I had seen the car I wanted on the forecourt so I'd be cutting off my nose to spite my face!
As I started to go towards the door, a charming younger salesman said he couldn't apologise enough, this is not who we are, asked if he could help and offered coffees etc. He got the commission.

My experience was some years ago when buying a camera. I had done my research and knew exactly which one I wanted. Needless to say that, having discussed its merits with the salesman, he then proceeded to try and veer me towards the ‘pretty coloured’ pink or lilac coloured cameras! I just gave him the death stare and he backtracked, mumbling something about knowing my own mind!

It’s not just men!
Some time ago now, we had a female double glazing salesperson round - I’ll call her A. She directed all her remarks directly at dh - I might have been elsewhere - with a lot of batting of eyelashes.

We’d also had a male salesperson round (B) who gave an almost identical quote and addressed us both equally.

When the time came to choose, dh said, ‘I think we’ll go with A, shall we?’
I said, ‘Because she ignored me and batted her eyelashes at you? No thanks, we’ll go with B.’
We did.

Nobody from the company ever asked why we hadn’t taken up their offer, but if they had, I’d have told them.

Another company (different product) did once ask why we hadn’t taken up a quote, so I told them - one of those over- pushy salesmen who tell you ‘Just for today, if you sign now, it’s 50% off!’ - and evidently think you’re stupid enough to swallow it.

On a similar note, we once used an estate agent (female) who every time she phoned, said, ‘Can I speak to your husband?’
Ultimately she didn’t get the sale, either.

I have been invisible for years.

Nearly every time I go into town people walk into me when I am coming out of shops and push in front of me in queues.

Often people say "I didn't see you there."

The last time my late husband bought a new car I tagged along as we planned to visit family afterwards.
The first 10 minutes of our meeting the salesman directed all his questions and comments to me whilst my husband sat there smiling sweetly. I think he found it quite funny.
In the end he interrupted the conversation and pointed out that he was the purchaser.
An example of taking your ant discrimination training a bit to far I think.

A few years ago, my daughter and her husband hired some vacant space in a factory in Sheffield where they planned to make some metal items for sale.
She had previous training in metalworking and plumbing.
The factory foreman very kindly offered to do some welding for them. Needless to say all discussion was aimed at her husband.
When her husband pointed out that he needed to discuss matters with "the wife" there was a sharp intake of breath then, in a broad Yorkshire accent, he said, " but, she's a lass!"
I did wonder if the foreman realised that during WW2, many Sheffield lasses worked in the steelworks. Probably not.

🤣🤣🤣
I’ve been invisible for a very long time - I was a SAH mum, which didn’t qualify me for intelligence or conversation!

When DH and I went to buy a car for me, the salesman only spoke him. Eventually, I piped up and said that I knew the working of an internal combustion engine, the firing order of spark plugs, etc., things that I suspected neither he nor DH understood…. He had the grace to blush.

I have had two experiences.
A young shop assistant ignored me. I think she looked right through me.
I got fed up of waiting in line, when I should have already been served.
I was about to literally jump up and down to make sure she saw me the second time, when she did.
I wasnt going to let her ignore me again.

2nd one. In my volunteer job, I was the main lead on a refurbishment. There was a man with me.
It soon became obvious that the electrician didnt like dealing with women.
I thought, well I have all day. Eventually he is going to have to ask me where the new sockets need to go, as my colleague didnt properly know.
I waited until the electrician had no option but to deal with me.

Years ago, I had a similar experience in a car showroom. Went in to enquire about buying a new model which had just been released. Eventually a very patronising salesman wandered over and asked which model I was interested in. When I pointed to the one in question, he looked down his nose at me and said "That's a very powerful car, madam. Are you sure you'd be able to handle it?" Little did he know I was a motoring writer at the time and used to test cars. After putting him well and truly in his place, I asked to see the manager and told him how his salesman had just lost them a sale as I was about to drive to one of their main competitors and buy it there!

I was on one of my rare visits to the GP surgery where there is a screen to allow patients to book in without the help of the receptionist. I am sure most of you will be familiar with these screens which are very simple to use. A man behind me in the queue immediately stepped forward, forcing me out of the way, and said ‘let me help you, love.’ I was incensed. Being called ‘love’ irritates me, but the assumption that I was mentally incompetent really annoyed me. I managed to say ‘no thanks’ and he stepped back. But why did all the clever responses only come when it was too late?

Yes. I've walked out of car showrooms before now when I'd gone in to buy a car for myself.
It's not just us older women though. DD is a glamorous blonde and had gone in to a showroom to buy herself a posh car (well it is to me!). The salesman spoke only to her DH. Unbeknown to the salesman, you don't mess with DD. He wasn't to know that she'd contact the owner of the whole dealership about 'Sid the sexist'. She got a huge discount and apology and the staff got extra training on valuing female customers.