Gransnet forums

Everyday Ageism

Shop assistants

(108 Posts)
EmHar Tue 11-May-21 13:44:23

I HATE being called love , dear or any familiar word by shop staff : makes me feel incredibly old which as a newish retiree I am not . Just patronising!

QuaintIrene Tue 11-May-21 13:49:02

I don’t mind it really. Where I live it’s normal to call each other love. Even men say it to each other. Besides, there’s worse things to be called.

grannylyn65 Tue 11-May-21 13:52:12

1st world problem

H1954 Tue 11-May-21 13:55:10

I think terms of address like this are a regional thing........in some places it's duck, mate, love, cock.....the list goes on. Jon are particularly, if at all, offensive really.

There are things I don't like i.e. Hun, babes and a few more like that.

Question is, what would the OP prefer to be addressed by a shop assistant?

Mapleleaf Tue 11-May-21 13:55:14

It doesn't bother me in the slightest. There are far worse things to be called and worse attitudes to contend with. I'm pretty sure these terms are used by the shop assistants without any intention of being patronising or demeaning (though of course, context is important). Now being referred to as "guys" is a different matter! 😁

H1954 Tue 11-May-21 13:56:07

Oops......not Jon.....should be None! I'm now going to destroy this ********ipad!

Oldwoman70 Tue 11-May-21 14:00:23

I don't object to being addressed that way and I don't think it is ageism - around here everyone is addressed as love no matter what their age

Redhead56 Tue 11-May-21 14:01:12

I don’t like hun or babes either the expression here used a lot is mate. It doesn’t bother me.

TrendyNannie6 Tue 11-May-21 14:08:05

I must be very easy going because I am not in the least bit bothered, certainly doesn’t make me feel incredibly old, it wouldn’t bothered me if I was called cock or mate either would probably make me smile,

Marydoll Tue 11-May-21 14:47:56

Doesn't bother me at all. I don't think it is ageist.

Septimia Tue 11-May-21 14:54:33

I'm happy to be called 'pet' as is the custom in these parts.

I don't really like it when someone refers to 2 or more of us together as 'you guys', or just 'guys'. It's a useful catch-all, I suppose, but I've never been a guy in my life! 'Folk' might be more acceptable.

AGAA4 Tue 11-May-21 15:35:22

We get called "lovely" round here. Don't mind at all. Good to be lovely.

ayse Tue 11-May-21 15:37:58

I don’t mind what I’m called as long as it’s not rude!

welbeck Tue 11-May-21 16:05:34

i don't see what's wrong with guys, it's a generic collective term for a group of people to me, informal but totally inoffensive.
however i do not like inappropriate terms of endearment.
i realise there are regional differences, but i felt a bit miffed when the 2nd vaccinator called me my dear.
i think there is a sexist element, as if patting a little girl on the head. he would not say it to a man of the same age. so he is assuming some kind of superiority over me, which is patronising.
he was a middle-aged man, probably younger than me. as an educated person, ?pharmacist, i think he should know better.

downtoearth Tue 11-May-21 16:09:44

Sir or Madam always got stuck in my throat in my many years of retail.
Especially when the attitude was,that as shop assistants we where there to serve and somehow beneath those we served.
Times have changed and courtesy on both sides of the counter should be observed at all times, but I would address my customers either by Mr/ Mrs, or if regular by their first names and if neither if those apply then lovely or me darlinggrin

JaneJudge Tue 11-May-21 16:12:42

My next door neighbour (male) always calls me sweetheart, which tbh I was a bit taken aback by to begin with grin but it is regional isn't it?

Retail staff have codes of conduct though and shouldn't be calling anyone love, they also have guidelines regarding what they are allowed to discuss on the shop floor.

Judy54 Tue 11-May-21 16:27:36

We are about to have some building work done and the Builder called me Darling. I did not mind at all in fact I was quite chuffed.

B9exchange Tue 11-May-21 16:32:35

Is it only me having deja vu, didn't we discuss this on another thread not that long ago? smile

welbeck Tue 11-May-21 16:32:37

generally in retail there is no need to call the customers anything.
just please, thank you, that'll be five pounds. goodbye.

grandmajet Tue 11-May-21 16:40:41

It doesn’t bother me at all, especially if said with a smile.
I’m not very good at ‘mate’, I can’t say it right.

SueDonim Tue 11-May-21 20:50:05

I was called ‘dear’ by a shop keeper the other day. First time that’s happened to me. I wasn’t happy.

Grannybags Tue 11-May-21 20:55:29

It's 10 years since I was in retail and even back then we were told not to call customers love, dear etc.

I don't really mind as long as it's not "you guys" How I hate that!

Ealdemodor Tue 11-May-21 21:07:54

Not keen on dear, though I would never make a thing of it.

hollysteers Tue 11-May-21 21:10:28

Another thumbs down for you guys, even Prince Harry is at it.
Dear does sound rather patronising to me but I was called petal by an older man and didn’t mind that at all, I rather liked it, it’s not heard in these parts.
I was called madam on the phone the other day ordering
clarinet music and it felt like stepping back in time (in a nice way).
I grew up hearing women referred to as ‘Queen’, obviously the ultimate compliment!

Tattooedfidelma Thu 13-May-21 10:42:43

Doesn’t bother me at all. As long as they are polite and friendly, they can call me whatever they want 😊