Dinner time probs

It was the rule at home when I was young that nobody left the table until everyone had finished eating. When we've had GC to stay in the past we've always sat and waited for them. They are both very slow and very small eaters. I find it most frustrating when I serve them something that they loved the previous time only to be told "I don't like X Y Z" I just roll my eyes at H and ignore them and by magic the food disappears I never try to hurry them to the point of tears. Though may say "eat up, there is X for afters"

storyette

When I was a child and said I didn't like some food or other my Mum would take it away and give me it back for tea.
It didn't happen often, as I've always liked most things.
Apart from tripe. I dug in my heels over that.

I was always a slow eater, it used to make parents cross and they would put a bedside clock on the table to spur me on. It was some time before I realised the clock didn't work.
Even now I am usually the last person a the table to finish my meal.

....and the problem is.......? Not the children eating slowly, but you making them cry!! Making them cry for pity's sake!

Just stop stressing about food, meals etc. If they are eating, albeit slowly what's the problem? I would say 30 to 40 minutes was ok. Is it much longer?
The more we flap over meals the more power we give to kids and the bigger battle we create.

Slow eating is better for the digestive system, let them be. What is the problem, are you wanting to hurry to do the washing up or put the dishes in the dishwasher? Just because you eating quickly this doesn't mean you right. If you want to lose their love then carry on the way you are.

Please, please don't make them cry over mealtimes. I've always been a slow eater and have unhappy memories of being 'hurried' and trying to eat whilst sobbing. It can have long lasting effects on eating and I still struggle with issues 50 years later. Just enjoy having your grandchildren with you.

Apparently eating slowly is actually healthy and makes you less likely to have a problem with putting on weight, now or later for the GC. I used to tell my children to stop eating when they had had enough, (not to finish all they had on their plates - when you don't need more is the time to stop) , and we only had puddings at the weekend, and then it was often yoghurt or fresh fruit. I agree that hurrying children tends to make them slow down - maybe this is what has happened here. It may feel hard, but leave them alone, don't comment, and over time it will, I think, sort itself out. Or if you see it differently after reading the responses from GN, you might even talk to the children and say openly and without blame on either side, that you see things differently now.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I cooked a meal for 4 grandchildren yesterday. I took their plates to the garden and they sat and ate on the grass. Whether they ate slow or fast I don't know. There was no pressure either way, but i did have clean plates.

Meal times should be pleasurable, not something to dread. What’s The hurry? If you are reducing the children to tears at meal times, you are going to make them associate eating meals with something unpleasant, which could lead to all sorts of food related issues in the future.
Have you considered the portion sizes on their plates? It might be that there looks, to them, too much to tackle. Perhaps you already do, but if not, I’d suggest using smaller plates with smaller portions. If they clear their plates and are still hungry, you can always offer more, but please, don’t make them hurry their food.
It’s actually healthier to eat food more slowly than quickly as it’s better for your digestive system and for your brain to get the message when you are full.
Mealtimes are a great time to talk to each other and catch up with what is going on. Even young children like to talk about what they’ve been doing. Of course, there will be occasions when you might need to remind them to eat, but it should be done in a way that doesn’t reduce them to tears. Try not to turn it into an issue.

My ex brother in law made my niece eat shepherds pie when a little girl and she was sick ...poor girl .. I used to dread it when he visited I was only 4 years older than niece ... cruelty .. my dad couldn’t have been more different to him....

Like Mapleleaf I think giving small portions is the way to go, eat as slowly as you can yourself, once you stop eating they will invariably stop, I push the food round my plate and wait. I expect they cry because quite rightly they can't see they have done anything to get told off about. If one is much slower than the others try to get the others talking so they stay at the table.

OP Some helpful advice in PP. Do be careful, it would be sad if mealtime stress were to put the GDs off visiting you.

What’s the need for speed eating? Surely it’s a nice time to chat and enjoy the food? When I’ve spent ages cooking a meal I would much rather it were savoured and appreciated than inhaled!

I tend to let my DGC help themselves so the take what they can eat. They know they have to a) have some veg, b) not take more than is fair if others are eating too. After that it's up to them. Self regulation is the way to go!

Retro have I missed you coming back to say if this is in fact a marathon meal or not?

When I was small I was a very slow eater and my Mum took me to the Drs. We were told that some children have a narrow food pipe(oesophagus) and must be allowed to eat at their own pace. So smaller meals more often, and moist food was suggested. It made such a difference and took the pressure off me. Even now I love lots of gravy/sauces and have a glass of water with meals.

Is this real? I apologise if I’m off the mark, but the original post seems so obviously provocative and odd, I can’t help but wonder of the OP is trolling!

Oh dear, was she a school teacher who wouldnt let the children go to the loo, in a former life?

Toddlers always seem to take ages to eat their meals.
I know my dgs does.

If my daughter has to get him out for an appointment or any reason, it can become a bit of a battle ground.

So I can sympathise with retrogran.

if you need to leave for an appointment surely you would just fed them earlier ?

No child should ever be put under pressure to eat up to the point that they are crying. In my opinion that is verging on emotional abuse.

Husband and I are taking our 3yr old GS out to dinner tonight, we shall, as always order his food on arrival. So that we can have a pre-dinner drink. He can then take his time over his mains whilst we have our starter. When we have our main course, he is more than happy to try everything, as he is relaxed and not overly hungry, having had his own meal.

At home we sit and chat with GC whilst they are eating(if they are having their meal earlier than us), no pressure to eat up, no promise of treat. You only have to read the papers or watch the news to see that there is an epidemic of eating disorders arising, both obesity and anorexia and bulimia.

Please give the poor Grandchildren a break.

My youngest was very slow eating , he started to cry if the others got their pudding while he was still at the spuds , I took his dinner away and he had his pud , then asked for the dinner back , of course I gave it to him , he is still a slow eater , quick witted , but slow mover too .

Eating slowly and chewing well, not rushing or gorging is good. Tiny helpings on small plates. A casual ‘there’s more if anyone is still hungry’, when finished is fine. No rushing, no pressure is better. Perhaps a simpler meal? Sounds as if you have prepared something elaborate. Many people show love by feeding, even over feeding. Is it possible that you are doing this a little. Children of this age will be happy with a baked potato and beans (half a large potato) or a little pasta with sauce and/or a little grated cheese. Simple is good.