Limerick

I’m fed up with weather that’s drizzly
My husband’s especially grizzly
He can't bear being wet

I’m fed up with weather that’s drizzly
My husband’s especially grizzly
His golf has to wait

I’m fed up with weather that’s drizzly
My husband’s especially grizzly
His golf has to wait
He's in a right state

Sorry, ignore that! I should have used Mary's...

I’m fed up with weather that’s drizzly
My husband’s especially grizzly
He can't bear being wet
So he gets in a fret

I’m fed up with weather that’s drizzly
My husband’s especially grizzly
He can't bear being wet
So he gets in a fret
When he can't go outside with his frisbee

A schoolboy kept posting on Gransnet

A schoolboy kept posting on Gransnet
He did it I think for a bet

A schoolboy kept posting on Gransnet
He did it I think for a bet
His provocative words

A schoolboy kept posting on Gransnet
He did it I think for a bet
His provocative words
Caused the grans to cross swords

A schoolboy kept posting on Gransnet
He did it I think for a bet
His provocative words
Caused the grans to cross swords
So he left at the speed of a jet.

There once was a crusty old sailor

There once was a crusty old sailor
Who was badly in need of a tailor

There once was a crusty old sailor
Who was badly in need of a tailor
His clothes were in rags

There once was a crusty old sailor
Who was badly in need of a tailor
His clothes were in rags
The rest of them in bags

There once was a crusty old sailor
Who was badly in need of a tailor
His clothes were in rags
The rest of them in bags
To take to the tip in a trailer

There once was a young man of Notts

There once was a young man of Notts
Who kept all his money in pots

There once was a young man of Notts
Who kept all his money in pots
If he put in some earth

There once was a young man of Notts
Who kept all his money in pots
If he put in some earth
To increase the worth

There once was a young man of Notts
Who kept all his money in pots
If he put in some earth
To increase the worth
It came up with Forget-me-nots

I once knew a lassie from Shetland

I once knew a lassie from Shetland
Who opened a shop called Pet-Land

I once knew a lassie from Shetland
Who opened a shop called Pet-Land
It stocked rabbits and mice

I once knew a lassie from Shetland
Who opened a shop called Pet-Land
It stocked rabbits and mice
At a reasonable price

I once knew a lassie from Shetland
Who opened a shop called Pet-Land
It stocked rabbits and mice
At a reasonable price
All checked out as fit by the vet-man.

I saw a huge plant down at Kew

I saw a huge plant down at Kew
The name of it nobody knew

I saw a huge plant down at Kew
The name of it nobody knew
It smelled quite divine