Limerick

I saw a huge plant down at Kew
The name of it nobody knew
It smelled quite divine
I wish it were mine

I saw a huge plant down at Kew
The name of it nobody knew
It smelled quite divine
I wish it were mine
In fact I would really like two

I have an eye on my forehead

I saw a huge plant down at Kew
The name of it nobody knew
It smelled quite divine
I wish it were mine
For its leaves make a delicious brew.

There once was a shy boy named Mark

Sorry, forgot to refresh!

I have an eye on my forehead
I had it tattooed there in Morehead

(it's a city in Kentucky!!)

I have an eye on my forehead
I had it tattooed there in Morehead
It can see things to come

I have an eye on my forehead
I had it tattooed there in Morehead
It can see things to come
But not up my bum

I have an eye on my forehead
I had it tattooed there in Morehead
It can see things to come
But not up my bum
As I don't have the flexibility for that spread

I struggle when changing the duvet

I struggle when changing the duvet
Need help from a glass of gran cuvée

Clever you *Bathsheba, I struggled to find a rhyme

I struggle when changing the duvet
Need help from a glass of gran cuvée
The change is so easy

I struggle when changing the duvet
Need help from a glass of gran cuvée
The change is so easy
Despite feeling wheezy

I struggle when changing the duvet
Need help from a glass of gran cuvée
The change is so easy
Despite feeling wheezy
I get on with the rest of my day!

A very old man from Tiree

A very old man from Tiree
Liked to imbibe a Guineas or three

wretched predictive text on tablet. Grrrr!!

A very old man from Tiree
Liked to imbibe a Guiness or three

A very old man from Tiree
Liked to imbibe a Guiness or three
He said "In my time

A very old man from Tiree
Liked to imbibe a Guinness or three
He said "In my time
I'd have drunk forty nine"

A very old man from Tiree
Liked to imbibe a Guinness or three
He said "In my time
I'd have drunk forty nine"
"Had to stop, going home, for a wee!"

A pretty young woman called Maud

A pretty young woman called Maud
Could do tricks and all would applaud

A pretty young woman called Maud
Could do tricks and all would applaud
She would pass round the hat

A pretty young woman called Maud
Could do tricks and all would applaud
She would pass round the hat
We'd toss in this and that

A pretty young woman called Maud
Could do tricks and all would applaud
She would pass round the hat
We'd toss in this and that
And she'd finish by swallowing a sword.

Edward liked to swim in the sea

Edward liked to swim in the sea
Unlike the rest of the bourgeoisie

Edward liked to swim in the sea
Unlike the rest of the bourgeoisie
He said 'I'm not too proud'

Edward liked to swim in the sea
Unlike the rest of the bourgeoisie
He said 'I'm not too proud'
To say it out loud,