Limericks - 2

The sheep in the fields are so chilly
They run around feeling so silly

The sheep in the fields are so chilly
They run around feeling so silly
Let's knit them a jumper

The sheep in the fields are so chilly
They run around feeling so silly
Let's knit them a jumper
To make them look plumper

The sheep in the fields are so chilly
They run around feeling so silly
Let's knit them a jumper
To make them look plumper
And long enough to cover their willy!

It's off to the shops I go

The sheep in the fields are so chilly
I hope they're not addled and silly

Wot!

It's off to the shops I go
Now we're not covered in snow

It's off to the shops I go
Now we're not covered in snow
I'll spend 'til I drop

It's off to the shops I go
Now we're not covered in snow
I'll spend 'til I drop
Please don't tell me to stop

It's off to the shops I go
Now we're not covered in snow
I'll spend 'til I drop
Please don't tell me to stop
Until my bank balance is low!

Look, the sky's pelting down rain

Look, the sky's pelting down rain
It does it again and again

Look, the sky's pelting down rain
It does it again and again
The lawn's like a bog

Look, the sky's pelting down rain
It does it again and again
The lawn's like a bog
I've just stepped on a frog!

Look, the sky's pelting down rain
It does it again and again
The lawn's like a bog
I've just stepped on a frog!
I’m finding this weather a strain

There was a young man from Tiree

There was a young man from Tiree
Had a nasty boil on his knee

There was a young man of Tiree
Had a nasty boil on his knee
Wanting to propose

There was a young man of Tiree
Had a nasty boil on his knee
Wanting to propose
He thought - Heaven knows

There was a young man of Tiree
Had a nasty boil on his knee
Wanting to propose
He thought - Heaven knows
Whatever will be, will be

The gritters are out once again

The gritters are out once again
The ice is becoming a pain

The gritters are out once again
The ice is becoming a pain
Our road's like an ice rink

The gritters are out once again
The ice is becoming a pain
Our road's like an ice
Making us turning to drink

The gritters are out once again
The ice is becoming a pain
Our road's like an ice rink
Making us turning to drink

The gritters are out once again
The ice is becoming a pain
Our road's like an ice rink
Making us turning to drink
Hoping we'll get plenty of rain!

There was a Tory named Boris

There was a Tory named Boris
Whose best chum at work was called Horace

There was a Tory named Boris
Whose best chum at work was called Horace
There once was a Tory named Boris
Whose best chum at work was called Horace
They schemed and they plotted