Limericks - 2

The gifts are tied up and labelled
Stacked high on the kitchen table

The gifts are tied up and labeled
Stacked high on the kitchen table
Next up is the cooking

The gifts are tied up and labeled
Stacked high on the kitchen table
Next up is the cooking
And when no-one's looking

The gifts are tied up and labeled
Stacked high on the kitchen table
Next up is the cooking
And when no-one's looking
the kids will be checking the labels!!

There was an old woman in pain

There was an old woman in pain
As she struggled to get on a train

There was an old woman in pain
As she struggled to get on a train
Her left knee gave way

There was an old woman in pain
As she struggled to get on a train
Her left knee gave way
Which caused a delay

There was an old woman in pain
As she struggled to get on a train
Her left knee gave way
Which caused a delay
And she was never to be seen again!

Santa lost one of his reindeer

Santa lost one of his reindeer
Thankfully not one of the main deer

Santa lost one of his reindeer
Thankfully not one of the main deer
He searched high and low

Santa lost one of his reindeer
Thankfully not one of the main deer
He searched high and low
With the others in tow

Santa lost one of his reindeer
Thankfully not one of the main deer
He searched high and low
With the others in tow
Then found it and said "Now explain, deer."

I once had a brolly with stripes on

I once had a brolly with stripes on
Which sheltered me from sun and rain

I once had a brolly with stripes on
A lovely bright shade of vermilion

I once had a brolly with stripes on
A lovely bright shade of vermillion
When it started to rain

I once had a brolly with stripes on
A lovely bright shade of vermillion
When it started to rain
I fell down a drain

I once had a brolly with stripes on
A lovely bright shade of vermillion
When it started to rain
I fell down a drain
Not quite what I'd set my sights on.

There once was a man with no nose

There once was a man with no nose
It fell off when one winter he froze

There once was a man with no nose
It fell off when one winter he froze
With no sense of smell

There once was a man with no nose
It fell off when one winter he froze
With no sense of smell
He said "How can I tell"

There once was a man with no nose
It fell off when one winter he froze
With no sense of smell
He said "How can I tell
A pile of manure from a rose?"

(Please note the polite use of language! )

A shy young girl from Australia

A shy young girl from Australia
Took part in a wild bacchanalia

A shy young girl from Australia
Took part in a wild bacchanalia
She just could not stop blushing

A shy young girl from Australia
Took part in a wold bacchanalia
She just could not stop blushing
When some grapes she was crushing