Limericks - 2

Last night Betty drank three pints of cider
And thus she got wider and wider
When she went up to bed
She got undressed and said,
I'm gonna wake up with a blinder!!!

I'm going off to work today

I’m going off to work today
Knowing that I’ll see on the way

I’m going off to work today
Knowing that I’ll see on the way
Some cows and a pony

I’m going off to work today
Knowing that I’ll see on the way
Some cows and a pony
Who both look so bony

I’m going off to work today
Knowing that I’ll see on the way
Some cows and a pony
Who both look so bony
I’ll feed them with masses of hay

There once was a big mouse called Minnie

There once was a big mouse called Minnie
Tall, but incredibly skinny

There once was a big mouse called Minnie
Tall, but incredibly skinny
Her tail stretched for miles

There once was a big mouse called Minnie
Tall, but incredibly skinny
Her tail stretched for miles
All over the stiles

There once was a big mouse called Minnie
Tall, but incredibly skinny
Her tail stretched for miles
All over the stiles
So she wrapped it up in her pinny.

The mouse has a friend who's a rogue

The mouse has a friend who’s a rogue
It’s Shane with bad teeth - he’s a Pogue

The mouse has a friend who’s a rogue
It’s Shane with bad teeth - he’s a Pogue
And the NYPD band played while

The mouse has a friend who’s a rogue
It’s Shane with bad teeth - he’s a Pogue
And the NYPD band played while
the rogue was arrested in style

The mouse has a friend who’s a rogue
It’s Shane with bad teeth - he’s a Pogue
And the NYPD band played while
the rogue was arrested in style
His photo's on the front cover of Vogue.

My dentist has got halitosis

My dentist has got halitosis
Definitely no scent of roses

My dentist has got halitosis
Definitely no scent of roses
So i bought him a packet of masks

My dentist has got halitosis
Definitely no scent of roses
So I bought him a packet of masks
And breath freshener in casks

My dentist has got halitosis
Definitely no scent of roses
So I bought him a packet of masks
And breath freshener in casks
So no one needs to hold their noses

There was a young lady called sadie

There was a young lady called sadie
Who was definitely never a lady

There was a young lady called Sadie
Who was definitely never a lady
She was really quite shocking

There was a young lady called Sadie
Who was definitely never a lady
She was really quite shocking
With large holes in her stocking

There was a young lady called Sadie
Who was definitely never a lady
She was really quite shocking
With large holes in her stocking
She ended up having a baby!!

The daffodils are starting to bloom

The daffodils are starting to bloom
A cheery sight amid all the gloom

The daffodils are starting to bloom
A cheery sight amid all the gloom
A sight to behold

The daffodils are starting to bloom
A cheery sight amid all the gloom
A sight to behold
In their green and their gold

The daffodils are starting to bloom
A cheery sight amid all the gloom
A sight to behold
In their green and their gold.
Shall I pick some to brighten the room?

Sadie's baby was really quite strange