Limericks - 2

I think I should go to keep fit
As all I do is just knit
I'd leap up and down
Though in sweat I might drown

I think I should go to keep fit
As all I do is just knit
I'd leap up and down
Though in sweat I might drown
And folk would all say 'What a twit!

There was a strange fella called Sid

There was a strange fella called Sid
Who lived in a bin, with a lid

There was a strange fella called Sid
Who lived in a bin, with a lid
It kept off the rain

There was a strange fella called Sid
Who lived in a bin, with a lid
It kept off the rain
But he slid down the drain

There was a strange fella called Sid
Who lived in a bin, with a lid
It kept off the rain
But he slid down the rain
When they came looking for him, and hid

There once was a postman called Peter

There once was a postman called Peter
Whose style could not have been neater

There once was a postman called Peter
Whose style could not have been neater
His one fear was dogs ?

There once was a postman called Peter
Whose style could not have been neater
His one fear was dogs ?
Who tore at his togs

There once was a postman called Peter
Whose style could not have been neater
His one fear was dogs ?
Who tore at his togs
Left his britches without any seat...er

Are you watching the Winter Olympics?

Are you watching the Winter Olympics
Where they are showing off their tricks

Are you watching the Winter Olympics
Where they are showing off their tricks
With bob sleighs, skates and skis

Are you watching the Winter Olympics
Where they are showing off their tricks
With bob sleighs, skates and skis
Let's hope that they don't freeze

Are you watching the Winter Olympics
Where they are showing off their tricks
With bob sleighs, skates and skis
Let's hope that they don't freeze.
They really should wear warmer knicks.

My computer's been giving me grief

My computer's been giving me grief
There has been much gnashing of teeth!

My computer's been giving me grief
There has been much gnashing of teeth!
I have experienced the' blue screen of death'!!

My computer's been giving me grief
There has been much gnashing of teeth!
I have experienced the' blue screen of death'!!
Think it's on its last legs

My computer's been giving me grief
There has been much gnashing of teeth!
I have experienced the' blue screen of death'!!
Think it's on its last legs
And I wouldn't complain if it went to a thief

There was a young cat on a mat

There was a young cat on a mat
Who was eating a huge sausage plait

There was a young cat on a mat
Who was eating a huge sausage plait
She said,"this tastes so good"

There was a young cat on a mat
Who was eating a huge sausage plait
She said,"this tastes so good"
"I just love human food"

There was a young cat on a mat
Who was eating a huge sausage plait
She said,"this tastes so good"
"I just love human food"
"Who needs a stinky old rat?"

Last night Betty drank three pints of cider

Last night Betty drank three pints of cider
And thus she got wider and wider

Last night Betty drank three pints of cider
And thus she got wider and wider
When she went up to bed

Last night Betty drank three pints of cider
And thus she got wider and wider
When she went up to bed
She got undressed and said,