Limericks - 3

I'd love to spend all day in bed
It's getting up I really dread
I’d stay on Gransnet
And on horses I'd bet
And DH would see I was fed.

I think I'll buy snorkel and jet skis

I think I'll buy snorkel and jet skis
Then I won't have to pay any hire fees

I think I'll buy snorkel and jet skis
Then I won't have to pay any hire fees
But my insurance will rise
As high as the skies

I think I'll buy snorkel and jet skis
Then I won't have to pay any hire fees
But my insurance will rise
As high as the skies
As sure as the moon's made of cheese.

I could do with a day by the sea

I could do with a day by the sea
Full of fun and excitement for me

I could do with a day by the sea
Full of fun and excitement for me
A boiled egg sandwich all sandy
Kiss me quick hats and candy

I could do with a day by the sea
Full of fun and excitement for me
A boiled egg sandwich all sandy
Kiss me quick hats and candy
Rounded off with a yummy cream tea.

I once thought I saw a pink ghost

I once thought I saw a pink ghost
Perhaps my mind I had lost

I once thought I saw a pink ghost
Perhaps my mind I had lost
Though is seemed real enough

I once thought I saw a pink ghost
Perhaps my mind I had lost
Though is seemed real enough
This rhyme is really tough

I once thought I saw a pink ghost
Perhaps my mind I had lost
Though is seemed real enough
This rhyme is really tough
That's what I fear the most.

I've been asked to the Easter Parade

I've been asked to the Easter Parade
I could wear the new outfit I made

I've been asked to the Easter Parade
I could wear the new outfit I made
With my flowery bonnet

I've been asked to the Easter Parade
I could wear the new outfit I made
With my flowery bonnet
And Eastertide sonnet

I've been asked to the Easter Parade
I could wear the new outfit I made
With my flowery bonnet
And Eastertide sonnet
Like Judy Garland with all the frills upon it!!!

There was a forcast for snow

There was a forecast for snow
Frozen fingers and noses aglow

There was a forecast for snow
Frozen fingers and noses aglow
I'm wearing five vests

To warm up my chest

There was a forecast for snow
Frozen fingers and noses aglow
I'm wearing five vests
To warm up my chest
And my old man's long johns down below.

It's been years since I rocked at a concert

It's been years since I rocked at a concert
As I'm a classical music convert,

It's been years since I rocked at a concert
As I'm a classical music convert,
Now it’s just Brahms and Liszt

It's been years since I rocked at a concert
As I'm a classical music convert,
Now it’s just Brahms and Liszt
That's until I am pissed,

It's been years since I rocked at a concert
As I'm a classical music convert,
Now it’s just Brahms and Liszt
That's until I am pissed,
After which I am rendered inert.

The snow has messed up all our plans

The snow has messed up all our plans
To visit Scotland in caravans

The snow has messed up all our plans
To visit Scotland in caravans
The roads are so dicey