LIMERICKS 4

Now the way to a man's heart's through his tum
So I got some advice from my Mum
She said I should always have ready
Anything eggy or bready!!!
Mum knows best and now the man you have won

An engagement ring to now to seek

An engagement ring now to seek,
In fact I was proposed to last week

An engagement ring now to seek,
In fact I was proposed to last week
I jumped at the chance

An engagement ring now to seek,
In fact I was proposed to last week
I jumped at the chance
My jewellery to enhance

An engagement ring now to seek,
In fact I was proposed to last week
I jumped at the chance
My jewellery to enhance
But it's not forthcoming, what a cheek!

I shall venture to pastures new

I shall venture to pastures new
New surroundings I will view

I shall venture to pastures new
In fact, in mind, there's quite a few

I shall venture to pastures new
In fact, in mind, there's quite a few
My suitors are many

I shall venture to pastures new
In fact, in mind, there's quite a few
My suitors are many
My favourite is Benny

I shall venture to pastures new
In fact, in mind, there's quite a few
My suitors are many
My favourite is Benny
To be honest,there`s quite a queue!

I shall bide my time to make sure

I shall bide my time to make sure
I choose the one who will endure

I shall bide my time to make sure
I choose the one who will endure
He'll share the chores fairly

I shall bide my time to make sure
I choose the one who will endure
He'll share the chores fairly
Face all troubles squarely

I shall bide my time to make sure
I choose the one who will endure
He'll share the chores fairly
Face all troubles squarely
If he doesnt then i'll show him the door!!!

I'm off to get a haircut

I'm off to get a haircut
I fancy a neat little square-cut,

I'm off to get a haircut
I fancy a neat little square-cut,
Without any parting

I'm off to get a haircut
I fancy a neat little square-cut,
Without any parting
And with plenty of curls

Um....sorry travelsafar..... third and fourth line meant to rhyme...

I'm off to get a haircut
I fancy a neat little squarecut
Without any parting
And not too much tarting

I'm off to get a haircut
I fancy a neat little squarecut
Without any parting
And not too much tarting
intending not to get stuck in a rut

Whilst dressing in a nice cool outfit

Whilst dressing in a nice cool outfit
Lost my balance and my knickers split

Whilst dressing in a nice cool outfit
Lost my balance and my knickers split
What a job on my hands

Whilst dressing in a nice cool outfit
Lost my balance and my knickers split
What a job on my hands
Tied them up with elastic bands

Whilst dressing in a nice cool outfit
Lost my balance and my knickers split
What a job on my hands
Tied them up with elastic bands
To be honest I feel such a twit

There was a young lady whose hips

There was a young lady whose hips
Were huge due to too many chips

There was a young lady whose hips
Were huge due to too many chips
She tried hard to slim