Limericks 6

It's not such a crime said his mother in tears
He just likes to mimic, he's done it for years
He meant no offence
So please use some sense
Being locked up was one of his fears

What became of that wonderful young man

What became of that wonderful young man
Well, his mother’s done all that she can

What became of that wonderful young man
Well, his mother`s done all that she can,
She`s made a cake with a file in

What became of that wonderful young man
Well, his mother`s done all that she can,
She`s made a cake with a file in
Which will add to his sin

What became of that wonderful young man
Well, his mother`s done all that she can,
She`s made a cake with a file in
Which will add to his sin,
But he wants to go home to his Nan.

My son took me out for a meal

My son took me out for a meal
And chose an all-you-can-eat deal

My son took me out for a meal
And chose an all-you-can-eat deal
He said Mum, I'm stuffed

My son took me out for a meal
And chose an all-you-can-eat deal
He said, 'Mum, I'm stuffed!'
I was so full I huffed

My son took me out for a meal
And chose an all-you-can-eat deal
He said, 'Mum, I'm stuffed!'
I was so full I huffed
As I'd followed him in eating with zeal.

Now I'm gorging on sore tummy pills

Now I'm gorging on sore tummy pills
Ooh, that indigestion just kills

Now I'm gorging on sore tummy pills
Ooh, that indigestion just kills
A less well learnt

Now I'm gorging on sore tummy pills
Ooh, that indigestion just kills
A lesson well learnt
My digestion I’d burnt

Now I'm gorging on sore tummy pills
Ooh, that indigestion just kills
A lesson well learnt
My digestion I’d burnt
And I look a bit green at the gills

From now on I shall watch what I eat

From now on I shall watch what I eat,
I will definitely grill all my meat,

From now on I shall watch what I eat
I will definitely grill all my meat
Cut out the fat

From now on I shall watch what I eat
I will definitely grill all my meat
Cut out the fat
And deserve a pat

From now on I shall watch what I eat
I will definitely grill all my meat
Cut out the fat
And deserve a pat
And send all my pals a smug tweet!

Do you understand today's youngsters?

From now on I shall watch what I eat
I will definitely grill all my meat
Cut out the fat
And deserve a pat
On my oh so much shapelier seat!

Salads each day get so boring

Like yours better callgirl

Salads each day get so boring
At lunchtime I feel like snoring

Salads each day get so boring
At lunchtime I feel like snoring
But eat them I must

Salads each day get so boring
At lunchtime I feel like snoring
But eat them I must
Oh, for fried bacon I lust

Salads each day get so boring
At lunch time I feel like snoring
But eat them I must
Oh, for fried bacon I lust,
Today, the diet I'm ignoring!

But will my best dress still fit me?

But will my best dress still fit me?
The worry has only just hit me

But will my best dress still fit me?
The worry has only just hit me
Soon there's a wedding

But will my best dress still fit me?
The worry has only just hit me
Soon there's a wedding
So pounds I'll be shedding