Limericks 7

An owl and a cat had words one night
Each said, "You are never right"
Said owl, "I am wise"
The cat closed his eyes
Let's chill, it's too hot to fight.

There was an awkward old cuss who lived by the sea

There was an awkward old cuss who lived by the sea
But was always very nice to me

There was an awkward old cuss who lived by the sea
But was always very nice to me
'Good morning' I'd say

There was an awkward old cuss who lived by the sea
But was always very nice to me
'Good morning' I'd say,
"Can you come out to play?"

And she’d ask what’s the game going to be ?

“No peace for the wicked” my mum used to say

"No peace for the wicked," my mum used to say
There were too many chores, to her dismay

"No peace for the wicked," my mum used to say
There were too many chores, to her dismay
While busy doing nothing

"No peace for the wicked," my mum used to say
There were too many chores, to her dismay
While busy doing nothing
Or sitting and face-stuffing

"No peace for the wicked," my mum used to say
There were too many chores, to her dismay
While busy doing nothing
Or sitting and face-stuffing
We wasted our time in play

I went on the train to Lands End

I went on the train to Lands End
Where I made an exciting new friend

I went on the train to Lands End
Where I made an exciting new friend
We posed under the signpost

I went on the train to Lands End
Where I made an exciting new friend
We posed under the signpost
The camera caught a ghost

An owl and a cat had words one night
Each said "You are never right"
Said owl "I am wise"
The cat closed his eyes
And wished he could simply take flight.

A mouse crept out from the skirting board

Oh no! So sorry, everything is jumping around on my tablet and I am on the wrong page again. Humbled apologies and please ignore the above!

I went on the train to Lands End
Where I made an exciting new friend
We posed under the signpost
The camera caught a ghost
I think I've gone right round the bend.

A mouse crept out from the skirting board

I went on the train to Lands End
Where I made an exciting new friend,
We posed under the signpost
The camera caught a ghost,
But it scared the two of us no end.

I`ve had a call from a man named Trevor,

Going with the earlier one :

A mouse crept out from the skirting board
He scuttled, looking for our cheese hoard

A mouse crept out from the skirting board
He scuttled, looking for our cheese hoard
But the cat was on guard

A mouse crept out from the skirting board
He scuttled, looking for our cheese hoard
But the cat was on guard
The mouse tried hard

A mouse crept out from the skirting board
He scuttled, looking for our cheese hoard
But the cat was on guard
The mouse tried hard
To get cheese but not mortally clawed

A woman who was once a fine flapper

A woman who was once a fine flapper
Decided to elope with a rapper

A woman who was once a fine flapper
Decided to elope with a rapper
He was pimpin' his whip*





*This is not offensive I promise, it means customise his car.

A woman who was once a fine flapper
Decided to elope with a rapper
He was pimpin' his whip
At high speed he let rip

A woman who was once a fine flapper
Decided to elope with a rapper
He was pimpin' his whip
At high speed he let rip
And wow, did that rapper look dapper!

In fact, she was very impressed

In fact, she was very impressed
By the way the fine rapper was dressed