Limericks 8

He thought he was a swaggering playboy
Everything about him was bound to annoy
With his fake gold Rolex
His penchant for Spandex
He wouldn't win ME over with that ploy.

I fancied the car more than him.

I fancied the car more than him
Our romantic encounters were therefore slim

I fancied the car more than him
Our romantic encounters were therefore slim
Grabbing the keys, I left him standin'

I fancied the car more than him
Our romantic encounters were therefore slim
Grabbing the keys I left him standin'
The situation I took command in

I fancied the car more than him
Our romantic encounters were therefore slim
Grabbing the keys I left him standin'
The situation I took command in
And drove myself off to the gym

There was a young braggart from Slough

There was a young braggart from Slough
Who thought he could show us all how

There was a young braggart from Slough
Who thought he could show us all how
To pump iron in the gym

There was a young braggart from Slough
Who thought he could show us all how
To pump iron in the gym
And to fight over him

There was a young braggart from Slough
Who thought he could show us all how
To pump iron in the gym
And to fight over him
Whenever his mum would allow.

Cos he was a mummy`s boy really

Cos he was a mummy`s boy really
No doubt he loved her dearly

Cos he was a mummy`s boy really
No doubt he loved her dearly
But no girl could match his mum

Cos he was a mummy`s boy really
No doubt he loved her dearly
But no girl could match mum
Her muscles were awesome

Cos he was a mummy's boy really
No doubt he loved her dearly
But no girl could match mum
Her muscles were awesome
She was heavyweight champ almost yearly.

My own mum's a karate black belt

My own mum's a karate black belt
A good-looker and terrifically svelte

My own mum's a karate black belt
A good-looker and terrifically svelte
You wouldn't want to cross her

My own mum's a karate black belt
A good-looker and terrifically svelte
You wouldn't want to cross her
Or ever try to boss 'er

My own mum`s a karate black belt
A good looker and terrifically svelte
You wouldn`t want to cross her
Or ever try to boss her
Cos she`d soon make her black belt felt!

I like a nice peaceful life

I like a nice peaceful life
Free from all trouble and strife

I like a nice peaceful life
Free from all trouble and strife
Though I'm not a pushover

I like a nice peaceful life
Free from all trouble and strife
Though I'm not a pushover,
Since I come from Dover,

I like a nice peaceful life
Free from all trouble and strife
Though I'm not a pushover,
Since I come from Dover
Where muscle bound folks are rife!

Is it to be the gym or TV tonight?

Is it to be the gym or TV tonight?
Or go down the pub for a fight?

Is it to be the gym or TV tonight?
Or go down the pub for a fight?
Can't wrench myself from Gransnet!