Limericks 9

My favourite drink is a brandy
I prefer it to a bar of candy
It warms up my cockles

My favourite drink is a brandy
I prefer it to a bar of candy
Less harm to my teeth

My favourite drink is a brandy
I prefer it to a bar of candy
A double is perfect

My favourite drink is a brandy
I prefer it to a bar of candy
It warms up my cockles

My favourite drink is a brandy
I prefer it to a bar of candy
It warms up my cockles
And winkles and grockles

My favourite drink is a brandy
I prefer it to a bar of candy
It warms up my cockles
But plays havoc with my knuckles

My favourite drink is a brandy
I prefer it to a bar of candy
It warms up my cockles
And winkles and grockles
But it making my legs all bandy

Better stick to soda and lime

Better stick to soda and lime
And have a sensible time

Better stick to soda and lime
And have a sensible time
A nice fruity punch

Better stick to soda and lime
And have a sensible time
A nice fruity punch
Bit of 'whoopee' with lunch

Better stick to soda and lime
And have a sensible time
A nice fruity punch
Bit of 'whoopee' with lunch
What's more it won't cost a dime.

By gum, the cat's had a mad half hour

By gum, the cat's had a mad half hour
Jumped in the bowl, now covered in flour

By gum, the cat's had a mad half hour
Jumped in the bowl, now covered in flour
Ran all over the shop

By gum, the cat's had a mad half hour
Jumped in the bowl, now covered in flour
Ran all over the shop
Stole a pork chop

By gum, the cat's had a mad half hour
Jumped in the bowl, now covered in flour
Ran all over the shop
Stole a pork chop
Race outside but ran out of power

The manager caught him by the tail

By gum, the cat's had a mad half hour
Jumped in the bowl, now covered in flour
Ran all over the shop
Stole a pork chop
Raced outside but ran out of power

The manager caught him by the tail

The manager caught him by the tail
That cat sure knows how to wail!

The manager caught him by the tail
That cat sure knows how to wail!
He could be heard down in Sheerness

The manager caught him by the tail
That cat sure knows how to wail!
He could be heard down in Sheerness
The cat broke free with success

The manager caught him by the tail
That cat sure knows how to wail!
He could be heard down in Sheerness
The cat broke free with success
Do you think he'll come back if I hail?

I really fear visiting the dentist

I really fear visiting the dentist
This man is really an extremist

I really fear visiting the dentist
This man is really an extremist
Terrifying drillings

I really fear visiting the dentist
This man is really an extremist
Terrifying drilling
Very wonky fillings

I really fear visiting the dentist
This man is really an extremist
Terrifying drilling
Very wonky fillings
Assisted by a foul mouthed hygienist .

My cat's just brought me a present

My cat's just brought me a present
A dead prey is not very pleasant