Limericks 9

I'm not scared of spiders or snakes but
He sends shivers down my spine, next door's mutt
He slavers and snarls
Eats soda farls
And trots around all day with a strut.

There was a poor young man from Rome

There was a poor young man from Rome
Who decided to buy a new home,

There was a poor young man from Rome
Who decided to buy a new home,
He fancies one that was leaning

There was a poor young man from Rome
Who decided to buy a new home,
He fancies one that was leaning
I offered him mine, I wasn't feigning

There was a poor young man from Rome
Who decided to buy a new home,
He fancies one that was leaning
I offered him mine, I wasn't feigning
He refused it, saying he'd sooner roam

This poor young man slept under the stars

This poor young man slept under the stars
Kept awake by the sound of guitars

This poor young man slept under the stars
Kept awake by the sound of guitars
He tried blocking his ears

This poor young man slept under the stars
Kept awake by the sounds of guitars
He tried blocking his ears
Then sank loads of beers

This poor young man slept under the stars
Kept awake by the sounds of guitars
He tried blocking his ears
Then sank loads of beers
And brought out his Indian sitar.

He hadn't mastered the art of playing it

He hadn't mastered the art of playing it
The sound made everyone's ears split

He hadn't mastered the art of playing it
The sound made everyone's ears split
He took a few lessons

He hadn't mastered the art of playing it
The sound made everyone's ears split
He took a few lessons
And played a few sessions

He hadn't mastered the art of playing it
The sound made everyone's ears split
He took a few lessons
And played a few sessions
And became an overnight hit

I’m thinking of starting line dancing

I'm thinking of starting line dancing
But my body is not built for prancing

I'm thinking of starting line dancing
But my body is not built for prancing
With a yee and a haa

I'm thinking of starting line dancing
But my body is not built for prancing
With a yee and a haa
And the occasional yaw

I'm thinking of starting line dancing
But my body is not built for prancing
With a yee and a haa
And the occasional yaw
It’s truly life enhancing

Perhaps ballroom is close to your heart

Perhaps ballroom is close to your heart
Maybe in Strictly you`d like to take part?

Perhaps ballroom is close to your heart
Maybe in Strictly you'd like to take part?
With a glamorous frock

Perhaps ballroom is close to your heart
Maybe in Strictly you`d like to take part?I
Well, Anton's my dream,

Perhaps ballroom is close to your heart
Maybe in Strictly you'd like to take part?
With a glamorous frock
Their eyes out I'd knock

Perhaps ballroom is close to your heart
Maybe in Strictly you`d like to take part?
With a glamorous frock
Their eyes out I`d knock
A winner I`d be from the start.

If Anton is really your dream

If Anton is really your dream
And you want him to dance with your team

Best flutter your lashes

If Anton is really your dream
And you want him to dance with your team
Best flutter your lashes
And grin with your gnashers