Limericks 12

I always had my chips in a cone
So easy to manage when on the phone,
The curry sauce drips
Half of it's on my lips
‘Sokay cos I live alone

I knew an old man called Bill

I knew an old man called Bill
Who was happy as Larry until....

I knew an old man called Bill
Who was happy as Larry until....
He met a floozy

I knew an old man called Bill
Who was happy as Larry until....
He met a floozy
She was always boozy

I knew an old man called Bill
Who was happy as Larry until ...
He met a floozy
She was always boozy
And took a spill into his garden rill.

Heck! Her fancy Jimmy Choos got so wet

Her fancy Jimmy Choos got so wet
She hung them up in a fishing net

Her fancy Jimmy Choos got so wet
She hung them up in a fishing net
Bill saw them and shouted

Her fancy Jimmy Choos got so wet
She hung them up in a fishing net
Bill saw them and shouted
She trembled and pouted,

Her fancy Jimmy Choos got so wet
She hung them up in a fishing net
Bill saw them and shouted
She trembled and pouted,
I don’t think she’s over it yet !

There was a young lady from Fleet

There was a young lady from Fleet
Who agreed she had two left feet

There was a young lady from Fleet
Who agreed she had two left feet
Often she'd stumble,

There was a young lady from Fleet
Who agreed she had two left feet
Often she'd stumble,
Then swear and grumble

There was a young lady from Fleet
Who agreed she had two left feet
Often she'd stumble,
Then swear and grumble
As she picked herself up from the street

There was a fashion designer supreme

There was a fashion designer supreme
Whose frocks were the stuff of a woman's dream

There was a fashion designer supreme
Whose frocks were the stuff of a woman's dream
If I had the cash

There was a fashion designer supreme
Whose frocks were the stuff of a woman's dream
If I had the cash
I'd be there in a flash

There was a fashion designer supreme
Whose frocks were the stuff of a woman's dream
If I had the cash
I'd be there in a flash
A vision in crimson and cream

I watched a young man play cricket

I watched a young man play cricket
A habit - I just can’t kick it !

I watched a young man play cricket
A habit - I just can’t kick it !
I'm sorry, it's boring

I watched a young man play cricket
A habit - I just can’t kick it !
I'm sorry, it's boring
Much prefer snoring

I watched a young man play cricket
A habit - I just can’t kick it !
I'm sorry, it's boring
Much prefer snoring
And then wake up to cofffe and "bicket""

Oh How lovely to have a nice lie-in

Oh How lovely to have a nice lie-in
Even though I fell down outside by the bin

Oh, how lovely to have a nice lie-in
Even though I fell down outside by the bin
Warm and comfy here

Oh, how lovely to have a nice lie-in
Even though I fell down outside by the bin
Warm and comfy here
Nothing to fear

Oh, how lovely to have a nice lie-in
Even though I fell down outside by the bin
Warm and comfy here
Nothing to fear
But I’m so lazy it feels like a sin.

Not much on the Garden Birdwatch today