Limericks 12

She called the police in an instant,
But by now the thief was distant
She sat and cried

She called the police in an instant,
But by now the thief was distant
She sat and cried
Like an abandoned bride

She called the police in an instant,
But by now the thief was distant
She sat and cried
Like an abandoned bride
While the boys in blue launched a man hunt.

Their panda cars travelled at great speed

Their panda cars travelled at great speed
But they should have taken more heed

Their panda cars travelled at great speed
But they should have taken more heed
The thief wore skates

Their panda cars travelled at great speed
But they should have taken more heed
The thief wore skates
Just like his mates

Their panda cars travelled at great speed
But they should have taken more heed
The thief wore skates
Just like his mates
And they made clever escapes indeed.

Is the 31st to be a memorable date?!

Is the 31st to be a memorable date?!
I don’t think so . I’m sorry , mate .

Is the 31st to be a memorable date?!
I don't think so . I'm sorry , mate.
We'll see how we feel

Is the 31st to be a memorable date?!
I don't think so . I'm sorry , mate.
We'll see how we feel
Maybe dance a reel

Is the 31st to be a memorable date?
I don`t think so, I`m sorry mate.
We`ll see how we feel
Maybe dance a reel
As we wait to find out our fate.

Our Nigel creates quite a picture,

Our Nigel creates quite a picture,
His hair colour is such a mixture

Our Nigel creates quite a picture
His hair colour is such a mixture
What would you call it?

Our Nigel creates quite a picture
His hair colour is such a mixture
What would you call it?
Obviously Brexit

Our Nigel creates quite a picture
His hair colour is such a mixture
What would you call it?
Obviously Brexit
I really hope it’s not a fixture?

There was a young girl called Carrie

There was a young girl called Carrie
Who wondered who she would marry,

There was a young girl called Carrie
Who wondered who she would marry,
Boy next door?

There was a young girl called Carrie
Who wondered who she would marry,
Boy next door?
No, far too poor

There was a young girl called Carrie
Who wondered who she would marry,
Boy next door?
No, far too poor
And she’d never liked the name Harry

She thought a dating app might be fine

She thought a dating app might be fine
So she put her photo out online

She thought a dating app might be fine
So she put her photo out online
It didn't take long

She thought a dating app might be fine
So she put her photo out online
It didn't take long
She wore a red thong

She thought a dating app might be fine
So she put her photo out online
It didn't take long
She wore a red thong
In the hope that they’d think her divine

However, she attracted the wrong type

However, she attracted the wrong type
One was grey, fat, bald and smoked a smelly pipe

However, she attracted the wrong type
One was grey, fat, bald and smoked a smelly pipe
I know that man! she cried