Limericks 12

However, she attracted the wrong type
One was grey, fat, bald and smoked a smelly pipe
I know that man! she cried
That's grandad!!! He's trying to hide

However, she attracted the wrong type
One was grey, fat, bald and smoked a smelly pipe
I know that man! she cried
That's grandad!!! He's trying to hide
But I know those trousers with the pinstripe

My best friend Sue is moving away

My best friend Sue is moving away
I’m not sure why, she didn’t say

My best friend Sue is moving away
I’m not sure why, she didn’t say
Thought she liked it here

My best friend Sue is moving away
I’m not sure why, she didn’t say
Thought she liked it here
Praps it was too dear

My best friend Sue is moving away
I’m not sure why, she didn’t say
Thought she liked it here
Praps it was too dear
But she's decided to go to Bombay

I've joined the ramblers to meet new folks

I've joined the ramblers to meet new folks
All my family thought it a hoax

I've joined the ramblers to meet new folks
All my family thought it a hoax
But they'll see my new friends

I've joined the ramblers to meet new folks
All my family thought it a hoax
But they'll see my new friends
And our guide who intends

I've joined the ramblers to meet new folks
All my family thought it a hoax
But they'll see my new friends
And our guide who intends
To keep us entertained with his jokes

My first walk is 4 miles (easy to moderate)

My first walk is 4 miles (easy to moderate)
That I think I should easily tolerate

My first walk is 4 miles (easy to moderate)
That I think I should easily tolerate
But if it's too many more

My first walk is 4 miles (easy to moderate)
That I think I should easily tolerate
But if it's too many more
It’ll seem more of a chore

My first walk is 4 miles (easy to moderate)
That I think I should easily tolerate
But if it's too many more
It’ll seem more of a chore
So I'll meet you in the pub where you congregate

I don't really like the great outdoors

I don`t really like the great outdoors
You decide on a picnic, then it pours,

I don`t really like the great outdoors
You decide on a picnic, then it pours,
Wasps arrive with other pests,

I don`t really like the great outdoors
You decide on a picnic, then it pours,
Wasps arrive with other pests,
All of them unwanted guests

I don`t really like the great outdoors
You decide on a picnic, then it pours,
Wasps arrive with other pests,
All of them unwanted guests
They either sting or bite, and they're bores.

There was a young lady from Bristol

There was a young lady from Bristol
In her handbag she kept a small pistol

There was a young lady from Bristol
In her handbag she kept a small pistol
She walked round the town

There was a young lady from Bristol
In her handbag she kept a small pistol
She walked round the town
Having planned a showdown

There was a young lady from Bristol
In her handbag she kept a small pistol
She walked round the town
Having planned a showdown
How dare he dump her by epistle

She’d never been quite so affronted

She’d never been quite so affronted
Never had her ego so blunted

She’d never been quite so affronted
Never had her ego so blunted
Her angry rose

She’d never been quite so affronted
Never had her ego so blunted
Her -angry- anger rose