Old proverbs made funny

Don't put all your eggs in the closet with your Nikes

In Liverpool we used to say that:-

A friend in need is a bloody nuisance.

If you cant see the wood for the trees you need glasses

A bird in the hand may be worth two in the bush but who wants birdshit on their fingers

Snitches get stitches and end up on crutches

May7, I'd heard the wee/wind one a few times years ago.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an orange is 5x better!

See a pin and pick it up but don't put it in your pocket as it'll prick you.

See a penny, pick it up, next stop is the beggars cup!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because there was no bridge.

He who laughs last usually makes himself unpopular.

Dont ignore the people you see on your way up,
Because they will shake the ladder to bring your down with a bump

a bird in the bush is usually out dogging

Too many cooks become television personalities

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes and you'll have a blister after only a few yards!

Many a true word has caused a great deal of offence.

The early bird catches the worm, which is a good reason to sleep late

Every dog has his day and the bitch has two (or too )

Honesty is the best policy, unless you're trying to get way with something!

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless the other side is the beach!

As one door closes another slams in your face !

He who pays the piper ends up out of pocket.