Limericks 14

Hooray, I`ve booked a delivery slot,
They`re like gold dust, so glad that I got,
The essentials I need,
And even birdseed
Plus a curry that was ever so hot!

There`s a picture on my wall that`s cock-eyed,

There`s a picture on my wall that`s cock-eyed,
I will give it a tilt on one side

There`s a picture on my wall that`s cock-eyed,
I will give it a tilt on one side
But it is a Pollock

There`s a picture on my wall that`s cock-eyed,
I will give it a tilt on one side
But it is a Pollock
It's lambs all a-frolic

There`s a picture on my wall that`s cock-eyed,
I will give it a tilt on one side
But it is a Pollock
It's lambs all a-frolic
And the ponies there are all pied.

My children are all far away

My children are all far away
I've not seen them for many a day

My children are all far away
Let’s hope they’ll be back someday

Oops...we’ll go with yours Jan

My children are all far away
I've not seen them for many a day

Juliet

My children are all far away
I've not seen them for many a day
My 'goodies' basket is untouched

My children are all far away
I've not seen them for many a day
My 'goodies' basket is untouched
It's just too much

My children are all far away
I've not seen them for many a day
My 'goodies' basket is untouched
It's just too much
Let’s hope they’ll be back someday

With my Tesco delivery I’m most impressed

With my Tesco delivery I’m most impressed
To keep my custom this was the acid test

With my Tesco delivery I’m most impressed
To keep my custom this was the acid test
Arrived on time

With my Tesco delivery I’m most impressed
To keep my custom this was the acid test
Arrived on time
Food at its prime

With my Tesco delivery I’m most impressed
To keep my custom this was the acid test
Arrived on time
Food at its prime
So I offered him a cup of tea and a rest.

My neighbours' curtains started twitching

My neighbours' curtains started twitching
Perhaps to Tesco they’ll be switching

My neighbours' curtains started twitching
Perhaps to Tesco they’ll be switching
For food, or just the man?

My neighbours' curtains started twitching
Perhaps to Tesco they’ll be switching
For food, or just the man?
Food, Man and a Van!

My neighbours' curtains started twitching
Perhaps to Tesco they'll be switching
For food, or just the man?
Food, Man and a Van!
For treats, crisps, and chocolate I'll be itching.

If I give in too much temptation

If I give in too much temptation
I'm afraid there'll be much revelation

If I give in to too much temptation,
I'm afraid there'll be much revelation,
My clothes just won't fit,

If I give in to too much temptation,
I'm afraid there'll be much revelation,
My clothes just won't fit,
But I don't give a sh*t (sorry but I couldn't resist)

If I give in to too much temptation,
I'm afraid there'll be much revelation,
My clothes just won't fit,
But I don't give a sh*t (sorry but I couldn't resist)
I'll just put up with the new transformation

New clothes I'll be needing to buy