Tuesday: Miss MaryDoll’s Tricky, Tantalising, Tortuous, Teaser.

Aw fanks Miss. Ive jus runned aht ov caek aswel - me boifren ett the las peace yestdae wivaht evn arskn me if I wontd enny! Tell yer wot! He ain't gettn nun of this bit!

Hello candelle glad you woz rite. Welcum to class ?

bathsheba I is mazed at yur bility to writ that ?. Yor boy fren is norty.

Alo craftygranny you don need to worry bout gilly she’s armless. As long as you share sweets she’s ok wiv yu.
bathsheba I din no u ad a dog iver. Did u borow squiffy’s jus so it cud eat ur omewk.

trisher is yu doin pole dancin? ?

I'm proppa stuk on the sleep thingy.

I wuddn't hit yoo or enee one crafty just cos' I let the stick insex out last week dussnt maik me a bad pursn .

You woz verwy norty doin that Gillybob- I woz Pets Monitor and got blaymed for it! That’s why you ave to be siwpavysed when you go in the Pettin Zw cos you can’t be trussed!

Are we learning Chaucer Miss?
Or are they all learning Welsh?

love it Calli

callistemon I get in to the point were I almost writ lic this on uver freds. bathsheba is best I fink.

pantglas as probly got a baj for langwich too ?

Doodle pole dancin is naughty an Im a good girl i am. The boys from the grammer school told me so.
CallistemonWot do you know about Chaucer? Have you been playin with the grammer school boys?

I am orways gud at langwij . But sumtimes carnt fink of me rite wurds to yoos.

Yes Doodle I ave a langwages baj cos I is a polygamist just like wot Miss is!

I canna understand much er it

So you and Miss hav got a few hubsands eech Pantglas I fink that’s illeagle in this cuntry.

Fanks Miss. I luv donuts?

You are all priceless - and have cheered me up!
or
U R al prislis n ave cheerd me up (but I carnt writ this as well as the rest of you!).

@Marydoll

Hello again, here are my answers:

1110

Neighbor is a woman who presumably sleeps alone because she's unattached and has a visitor, or.....it's a couple and the voice on the other end was not the husband's?

Hello again.....sorry for my absence Miss, but by the time I swam across the pond yesterday, the solutions were already posted. I tried to post in private, but something went horribly wrong. My apologies!

OK....so here's why I couldn't come in or have enough time to do puzzles....... Doodle, Bathsheba, Pantglass, Trisher, Callistemon....I really missed your banter. I hope you missed me.

So, I spent good part of the weekend talking on the phone, facetiming and planting seeds. I also cleaned out the refrigerator and pantry and made an inventory of our supplies....they were dwindling sadly.

Sunday night we 'Zoomed'. We had a virtual get together with our three children and GC. Everybody talked at the same time, but it was a real hoot.

Yesterday, we drove halfway to our daughter's and she did likewise. We engaged in a socially distant exchange of goods, not unlike criminals doing a drug deal. After all the loot was safely put away inside respective trunks (boots) of the cars, we had a nice chat, exchanged farewells and parted ways. It's the closest we've been in weeks.

Early this morning DH and I finally braved the elements! We hit the grocery markets during 'senior hour'. Armed with black (N99) masks, rubber gloves, Lysol spray and hand sanitizer, we nixed the home delivery service that's been gouging us wicked (a 40% premium over their grossly inflated grocery bills)!!! We had enough and decided to give it a go on our own.

A lot of items out of stock, plenty of masks and social distancing. We managed to get the basics and most of what was on our list. Best of all, we saved a lot of our money. Interestingly, masks are becoming quite the fashion statement. I noticed our black N99s got quite a few stares of approval. It hadn't seen that since one of the kids donned his first pair of Nikes. Anyway...good to be back. I missed you and I hope I earned my apple today

Doodle No I dint borough Squiffy's dog, its me oan dog. Weel, its me mums reely but she doant do nuffink wiv it, she jus leevs it awl up too me to luk arftr im. Awl she dose is bies its fud, and she doant alwase evn bovva wiv that. Witch is probbly wye it ett me ohmwerk cos it wor ungarree.

Welcum bak Willa! But I av ter arsk - if yoov got kids and even granchillin, wotcher doin cummin to skool wiv us lot? Dint yoo lurn nuffin wen yoo was a lil kid? So yore trine to ketchup naow?

Aw bathsheba I wish ud bring yr dog to skul I wud luv to c it. Duz it bite.
willa I misd u. Glad yr in tody.
candelle u can lurn like wot we duz. Miss is good teechr. Pls stay in clas we lik u.
trisher I not sur thoz boyz tellin you truff. I be carful if I woz u.
Miss, pantglas says her an u are polygamists. Duz that mean u is good at pretendin to be parots.? ?

Doodle I kud bring im in tmorro if yer lik? E done bite. E luvs beeing tikkeld on is bellie. Ile mek shore Ive got sum biskits fer yoo ter giv im, then e'll be yer bes fren frever.
candelle I fort yoo wos dion reely gud wiv yore spellin. I rekn yoov bin swottin up, reedin awl wot wev bin ritin on ere. Kongat congrach weel dun!

Rite yous yins, yur daein ma heid in, am fair scunnered wi the lota ye! Haud yer wheesht or al skelp yur bahoochies the lot a ye! Am fair crabbit the night cos a ya wee nyaffs. Awe they new weans ur bein led astray wi awe this haverin' ?

Oh dear, I forgot I was working in the International School!

(Said in received pronunciation).
Settle down class, you are giving me a headache! I am at the end of my tether over your unruly behaviour and a punishment is likely to ensue. I am not in the best of moods. All the new children are being led astray by all your nonsense.?