Limericks 16

Too many bevvies, that`s not wise
I must stop`cos I`ve doubled in size
I`ll go for a jog
And drag the poor dog
I`ll tempt him with Hollands meat pies

He`ll scoff them down in a jiffy

He`ll scoff them down in a jiffy
Hope he don't start to smell whiffy

He'll scoff them down in a jiffy
Hope he don't start to smell whiffy
I love a pie or two

He'll scoff them down in a jiffy
Hope he don't start to smell whiffy
I love a pie or two
Zips I must undo

He'll scoff them down in a jiffy
Hope he don't start to smell whiffy
I love a pie or two
Zips I must undo
Tempted to add something iffy!!

These tiers do tend to complicate

These tiers do tend to complicate
Am I allowed out after eight?

These tiers do tend to complicate
Am I allowed out after eight?
Must I shun my friends?

These tiers do tend to complicate
Am I allowed out after eight?
Must I shun my friends?
And no household blends

These tiers do tend to complicate
Am I allowed out after eight?
Must I shun my friends?
And no household blends
We need the jab, just cannot wait!

I feel like having a party

I feel like having a party
A sumptuous feast that's hearty

I feel like having a party
A sumptuous feast that's hearty
With wine and balloons

I feel like having a party
A sumptuous feast that's hearty
With wine and balloons,
Colourful festoons

I feel like having a party
A sumptuous feast that's hearty
With wine and balloons,
Colourful festoons
And someone to snog who's not warty

In my humble opinion

In my humble opinion
We`re all classed as minions

In my humble opinion
We`re all classed as minions
I like being yellow

In my humble opinion
We`re all classed as minions
I like being yellow
I’m not a fellow!

In my humble opinion
We`re all classed as minions
I like being yellow
I`m not a fellow!
Just a girl who knows her onions

A minion means you`re classed as lowly

A minion means you`re classed as lowly
Certainly you are not holy

A minion means you`re classed as lowly
Certainly you are not holy
At someone’s bidding

A minion means you`re classed as lowly
Certainly you are not holy
At someone’s bidding,
And they're not kidding,

A minion means you're classed as lowly
Certainly you are not holy
At someone's bidding
And they're not kidding
I'll plough my own furrow, holy moley.

I should have been born a duchess

I should have been born a duchess
Certainly royalty, no less

I should have been born a duchess
Certainly royalty, no less
Folk would bow and scrape

I should have been born a duchess
Certainly royalty, no less
Folk would bow and scrape
At my silk robes and gape

I should have been born a duchess
Certainly royalty, no less
Folk would bow and scrape
At my silk robes and gape
And try to steal my crown, I guess.

But instead I'm lowly and poor