Limericks 16

^Sorry, I'm mortified. Keep wrecking pattern. Second attempt.

He lived in a mansion and drove a red Rolls
With a liveried chauffeur at the controls
He's hot stuff, she thought
But has he been caught?
Like a little sardine from one of those shoals?

His Roller, with chauffeur, drew up at her door

His Roller, with chauffeur, drew up at the door
With picnic hamper for a jaunt up the moor

His Roller, with chauffeur, drew up at the door
With picnic hamper for a jaunt up the moor
They climbed a few rocks

His Roller, with chauffeur, drew up at the door
With picnic hamper for a jaunt up the moor
They climbed a few rocks
Away from the flocks

His Roller, with chauffeur, drew up at the door
With picnic hamper for a jaunt up the moor
They climbed a few rocks
Away from the flocks
But they forgot the Moët and Chandon

He beckoned his chauffeur, who was ten feet away

He beckoned his chauffeur, who was ten feet away
'Madam needs bubbles. Go and get some. Today!'

He beckoned his chauffeur, who was ten feet away
"Madam needs bubbles. Go and get some. Today!"
To the wine shop he drove

He beckoned his chauffeur, who was ten feet away
"Madam needs bubbles. Go and get some. Today!"
To the wine shop he drove
To search for a trove

He beckoned his chauffeur, who was ten feet away
"Madam needs bubbles. Go and get some. Today!"
To the wine shop he drove
To search for a trove
"Sir, could only get Tizer. Will that be OK?"

With that love's young dream of fulfilling its lust

With that love's young dream of fulfilling its lust
Didn’t work out I guess, it all went bust

With that love`s young dream of fulfilling his lust
Didn`t work out I guess, it all went bust
Stayed a virgin one more day

With that love's young dream of fulfilling his lust
Didn't work out I guess, it all went bust
Stayed a virgin one more day
So on his lonesome he did stay

With that love's young dream of fulfilling his lust
Didn't work out I guess, it all went bust
Stayed a virgin one more day
So on his lonesome he did stay
It seems he’s not got romance sussed

Gavin the gardener from Gateshead

Gavin the gardener from Gateshead
Kept his mower in a mate's shed

Gavin the gardener from Gateshead
Kept his mower in a mate's shed
The roof blew away

Gavin the gardener from Gateshead
Kept his mower in a mate's shed
The roof blew away
On midwinter day

Gavin the gardener from Gateshead
Kept his mower in a mate's shed
The roof blew away
On midwinter day
Wasn't Wor Gavin's mate's face red!!

"Haway man" said Gavin "Calm doon!"

Gavin the gardener from Gateshead
Kept his mower in a mate's shed
The roof blew away
One midwinter day
All that was left were tiles and lead

The rag and bone man was happy to help

"Haway man" said Gavin "Calm doon!"
No need to go into a swoon

Ha, ha, ha.... we've gone pear-shaped a bit! Should all be in bed. Sort it out tomorrow. Night night

"Haway man" said Gavin "Calm doon!"
No need to go into a swoon
I'll soon have it fixed

"Haway man" said Gavin "Calm doon!"
No need to go into a swoon
I'll soon have it fixed
And rebuilt with bricks

"Haway man" said Gavin "Calm doon!"
No need to go into a swoon
I'll soon have it fixed
And rebuilt with bricks
It’ll all be done before noon.

Gavin went down to B and Q

Gavin went down to B and Q
Needing to buy much more than glue

Gavin went down to B and Q
Needing to buy much more than glue
Some tools and some tacks