LIMERICKS WITH VERY STRICT RULES - 88558 - (3)

But exercise I find so hard
Because I'm a barrel of lard
So I stretch my hands
Imagine handstands

But exercise I find so hard
Because I'm a barrel of lard
So I stretch my hands
Imagine handstands
I used to do that in my yard.

But that was now decades ago

But that was now decades ago
I can barely move my big toe

But that was now decades ago
I can barely move my big toe
My brain, though, still works

But that was now decades ago
I can barely move my big toe
My brain, though, still works
If only in jerks

But that was now decades ago
I can barely move my big toe
My brain, though, still works
If only in jerks
I wish I could do a bit more

Use it or lose it, so they say

Use it or lose it, so they say
I won’t give up, that’s not my way

Use it or lose it, so they say
I won’t give up, that’s not my way
Zumba is my choice

Use it or lose it, so they say
I won’t give up, that’s not my way
Zumba is my choice,
Football with the boys,

Use it or lose it, so they say
I won't give up, that's not my way
Zumba is my choice
Football with the boys
Twist with my hula hoop all day.

There once was a dietician

There once was a dietician
Who knew not much of nutrition

There once was a dietician
Who knew not much of nutrition
She ate buns all day

There once was a dietician
Who knew not much of nutrition
She ate buns all day
But how much did she weigh?

There once was a dietician
Who knew not much of nutrition
She ate buns all day
But how much did she weigh?
The scales broke, that’s all I’ll mention

She joined the local Weight Watchers

She joined the local Weight Watchers
And found there so many old codgers

She joined the local Weight Watchers
And found there so many old codgers
She thought it was great

She joined the local Weight Watchers
And found there so many old codgers
She thought it was great
That it was her fate

She joined the local Weight Watchers
And found there so many old codgers
She thought it was great
That it was her fate
To meet jolly coffin-dodgers.

There she met a wily old cove

There she met a wily old cove
Who looked rather like Michael Gove

There she met a wily old cove
Who looked rather like Michael Gove
A con artist most sly,

There she met a wily old cove
Who looked rather like Michael Gove
A con artist most sly
Who liked whisky rye

There she met a wily old cove
Who looked rather like Michael Gove
A con artist most sly
Who liked whisky rye
And had an eye that liked to rove.

When Dilly had got herself slim

When Dilly had got herself slim
She decided to join a gym

When Dilly had got herself slim
She decided to join a gym
To maintain her weight

When Dilly had got herself slim
She decided to join a gym
To maintain her weight
She jogged with a mate