A new and humorous story - add a couple of sentences

....just watch out if you find yourself in any lifts with him.

the tall, dark, handsome fire chief. Years ago Becker and I used to enjoy a game of tennis. That's him, sitting in the cab, admiring Nora's ankles. Likes to volunteer for a bit of fire fighting these days.

his eye, he thought they were quite shapely. Then Flora Bucket rushed across to the cab and said "Goodness Nora, what's been going on? We've now got the boy wonder tennis player who won Wimbledon years ago. What's he doing here?"

"Let me explain," said. . . .

Nora hoiked her skirt up to climb into the cab.
"I heard they call her batty" remarked Boris. As her ankles passed ...

No fire, just chaos said Nora, and she just burst into tears. "Never mind love, come and have a cup of tea outside in the van." They went outside and,....

There stood six burly firefighters. Where's the fire, asked the tall, dark, handsome fire chief...

said "Polly put the kettle on". Nora thought not, and went to the front door, opened it and....

All at once the room emptied, as people scattered in all directions and disappeared into the distance.
All except Nora and the parrot ?, who.....

Oh that was my pride and joy, you wicked, wicked, wicked boy, cried Nora.

It burst the waterbed in the room above, the ceiling came down and they all stood soaked and covered in plaster.

But all he got was mean scowls and a shot was fired into the ceiling.

Hang on boys said Robert. You've got the wrong shoot here. You're due on that film location three roads north of here. Look at this poor lady here. Be off with you.

Hands and wings up , face and beaks to the wall ! They screamed , guns and batons pointing menacingly .....

Just at that moment there was a loud bang and a crack police squad battered the front door down.

"My eyes! My eyes!"

for you to pose naked with the parrot to advertise the holiday in the Amazon rainforest. She started to disrobe but looking at the rolls round her middle he changed his mind and shouted, "

All we need now is

And in came a second 'Robert'. Am I seeing things thought Nora. But the first Robert said, in that drawl of his. "Nora, this is my stunt man and body double. You see we're filming a commercial in this locality, and Polly is just the extra we need".

For a gruff voice behind Robert called out 'Stop right there!'.

Obviously she had honed her skills in ventriloquism

( thanks calendar girl ! )

As she poured the tea into two china cups , a flustered Robert de Niro came through the door , feathers fluttering in his wake , carrying his violin case from which came strange squawking sounds ." Tea , Mr de Niro?" she asked .
" Robert de Niro's waiting - talking Italian " came a muffled voice from the case ......

Now buried in the garden as it turned out that he was a nightmare to live with. But the neighbours didn't know anything about that particular episode.

It was an ancient love potion recipe handed down through the generations . She stirred it carefully wondering if it would , again work for her , after all her last visitor who fell instantly in love with her was .......

She got out her selection.if herbs carefully dried from.the garden and brewed an excellent concoction for for a king