Limericks with very strict rules (4) - 88558

A Samsung or a smart iPhone?
I must have something or I moan
To text or to chat
My life is like that

A Samsung or a smart iPhone?
I must have something or I moan
To text or to chat
My life is like that
It helps me stop feeling alone.

With puzzles to keep my brain fit

With puzzles to keep my brain fit
As they say ‘use it or lose it’

With puzzles to keep my brain fit
As they say 'use it or lose it'
A crossword each day

With puzzles to keep my brain fit
As they say 'use it or lose it'
A crossword each day
And Scrabble to play

With puzzles to keep my brain fit
As they say 'use it or lose it'
A crossword each day
And Scrabble to play
But I should also not just sit

It’s easy to relax too much

It’s easy to relax too much
With puzzles and coffee and such

It's easy to relax too much
With puzzles and coffee and such
Or maybe just sit

It's easy to relax too much
With puzzles and coffee and such
Or maybe just sit
And think just a bit

It's easy to relax too much
With puzzles and coffee and such
Or maybe just sit
And think just a bit
So easy to get out of touch

If I lay in the garden now

If I lay in the garden now
I'll look just like a big fat sow

If I lay in the garden now
I’ll look just like a big fat sow
Plant flowers instead

If I lay in the garden now
I’ll look just like a big fat sow
Plant flowers instead
Create a raised bed

If I lay in the garden now
I’ll look just like a big fat sow
Plant flowers instead
Create a raised bed
Passersby will then exclaim, “Wow!”

I’ll sit there just reading my book

I’ll just sit there reading my book
Resisting temptation to cook

I'll just sit there reading my book
Resisting temptation to cook
With a glass of wine

I'll just sit there reading my book
Resisting temptation to cook
With a glass of wine
And everything's fine

I'll just sit there reading my book
Resisting temptation to cook
With a glass of wine
And everything's fine
And hope that the neighbours don’t look

Fake plants on my patio look good

Fake plants on my patio look good
And leave me more time to eat food

Fake plants on my patio look good
And leave me more time to eat food
A dunk in the sink

Fake plants on my patio look good
And leave me more time to eat food
A dunk in the sink
Hey presto, wink wink,

Fake plants on my patio look good
And leave me more time to eat food
A dunk in the sink
Hey presto, wink wink
I’d dunk me, but that would be rude!

My ficus elastica’s fine

My ficus elastica’s fine
I feed her with coffee and wine

My ficus elastica’s fine
I feed her with coffee and wine
Not everyone knows

My ficus elastica's fine
I feed her with coffee and wine
Not everyone knows
The reason she glows